I love Valentine's Day. So, as a foot of snow blanketed Westchester County, New York, I enjoyed my home decorated with vintage Valentine post cards and hearts hanging everywhere. Even as a child, I could not wait to exchange valentine cards at school. Homemade one's with lacy doilies and hearts cut out of construction paper were my favorite. My daughter once received one such card from a teenage boy. There was something so sweet and true about it that I still think that someday they will get married.
No matter how many times that I have celebrated with dinners, parties or chocolate; the holiday of love still enchants me! I am not alone of course. Many people spend a great deal of time and thought remembering their loved ones and trying to find novel ways of expressing the depth of their feeling. So, it is no surprise that this holiday, with origins in ancient Europe and the martydom of a Catholic priest, has gained a worldwide adherence.
The word love appears 310 times in the King James Bible. As I was reading through some of those passages, I began to think of love in my life. Love is funny balloons and a warm, uplifting valentine card from a friend who just visited me when I was sick. How thoughtful! Love goes into the planning, shopping, and preparation of tonight's dinner. Day in and day out those healthy meals keep coming. That's Amore! A child running to hug their grandparents. Love is hugs and kisses and all the physical expressions of love! "Good job, I am so proud of you son." Love is speaking to others to uplift and ennoble. Family reunions, girls night out, visiting the elderly people in your life. Love is spending meaningful time together!
We all have the desire to know and to be known. Then after we are known, to be loved for who we are, and to love in return. It is a foundational principle in our life. If we lack this we can die, or we can hurt others in our pain. God loves us with an everlasting love. This deep and eternal love fills us, teaches us, and directs us in our life. From this, we are able to get this love thing right. The Bible makes this clear in 1 John 4:7-8 - "Beloved, let us love one another:for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love." So, get to know God, the source of all love this Valentine's Day. Just Google love verses in the Bible and begin to think about the real meaning of love.
Here are a few verses to start with: Galatians 5:7-"Love your neighbor as yourself." Colossians 3:14-"And over all these virtues put on love, which binds all together in perfect unity." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8- "Love suffers long(is patient) and kind, does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:13-"And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
Saturday, February 11, 2017
Thursday, February 2, 2017
Are You A Mature Christian?
If you are a Christian, everything you say or do reflects your level of Christian maturity. When you became a Christian was there any discernible change in your character? There should have been. It is never too late to consider your character and begin to be all that you can be for the Lord. I am about to air the dirty laundry of some Churches in Westchester County, NY. It reflects my experiences and I know the experiences of many others. Jesus Christ was never one to shrink from telling the truth of sin. When the truth of your life and mine is laid out, only then is it possible for God to work in our lives and in our Churches. Jeremiah 18:4 "And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter : so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it."
We all need to be made again, so let's look at a few stories which we may relate to. When I first met Frankie* at Church we became fast friends. We seemed to bond over studying the Word of God. He had a zeal for evangelizing yet he did not see how his womanizing ways dimished his witness for Jesus. We went out to eat at a trendy riverfront restaurant. All was going well until near the end of the dinner. In the middle of our discussion he averted his eyes from mine to acknowledge a woman passing by in a short, lacy skirt. His neck eventually followed his eyes and before you know it this mighty man of God was reduced to a groveling sinner. To make matters worst, he wanted to leave a religious tract on the table when we left. I patiently explained to him how he was a poor role model for everyone in that restaurant. If one of the staff picked up that religious tract and had happened to witness his ungodly behavior he would have succeeded in turning them off to Jesus.
Betty* was always complaining about her Catholic husband. Betty* who now attended Golgotha Chapel* had met Sam* in her early twenties. Her Christian walk was such that she could not resist this man and ended up getting pregnant before they were married. He continued attending his church and she hers. As the years went by, they grew apart. She thought her Church better than his and constantly said how much she hated him. One day, I shared some marriage ministry materials that I had used, and challenged her to stop saying that she hated her husband. I let her know there was hope for her marriage and it began with her. More drama at Golgotha ensued over the years. The Pastor's wife was giving a women's bible study one day. The topic that night brought pain to one of the ladies, Missy* concerning her relationship with her mother. This Pastors wife had never dealt with her own mother issues and presented a very ungodly answer to this congregant in pain. She continued to give ungodly advice that same evening concerning pre-marital sex. Shocking. I spoke to the other ladies but nothing was ever done to right the wrongs that evening. The Pastor was not the godly head of that household and a story from the pulpit one day helped me understand the problems in this Church better.
Pastor Bobby* described a time when his family was grabbing food at a Rockland County shopping mall. He said his wife was very rude to a young man behind a fast food counter. Instead of being a godly husband and mediating the situation he thought it was the funniest thing that he just hid behind a pillar until it was all over. He hid from a lot of things including rudeness and bullying about my ethnic culture that occurred on an Internatiomal Night at our church. The evening was meant to celebrate the food and culture of church attendees. When a Dutch woman named Jackie*, whose husband worked at the United Nations, insulted my culture and belittled its history, the Pastor couldn't care less. He said he was just relaxing that night and didn't want to deal with it. I guess some cultures are better than others at this Church.
What do all these stories have in common? Christian immaturity! And it has far-reaching effects in a church. Take the case of brother Craig.*. Brother Craig knows his bible well. He is influential and involved in many ministries at Hope*Church. There is only one problem : he touches women in inappropriate ways. He is devious enough to do it in a way that is just on the line between right and wrong. There is the evil. But, I also know everyone is so busy making nice at this Church, that they
work overtime to find a way to ignore or explain Craig's behavior away. The damage that immature churches do is incalculable. People are wronged and end up leaving churches. Some of our churches in Westchester are destroying families, like in the case of Pastor Bobby, who gave out terrible marital advice to couples who came to him for help. People are filling psychologists' offices in Westchester County over pain experienced in local churches. The worst consequence of not pursuing Christian maturity in your church is seeing people end their relationship with Jesus Christ and growing discouraged. I know a few people from Golgotha Chapel who have sought peace in yoga and meditation.
The early Church described in Hebrew 5:11-12 comes to mind when I think of this problem. It very clearly speaks of a church who is not growing in maturity. That Church still needed "milk, not solid food." The effects of not giving up milk for a baby are quite serious. They will fail to put on the necessary weight to grow and will fail to thrive. The child would die. So when Paul wrote to Timothy using this analogy, it was a serious discussion of what would happen to a church if it does not grow. What are some reasons why a church fails to mature? Sometimes it is immature leadership. Other times it is due to an improper understanding of the concept of discipleship.
In the case of immature leadership, sometimes changes need to be made. Decide to commit this problem to prayer. If you are an elder pray that God directs you in the situation. On the topic of discipleship, I find this a very big problem. It is so important for us to study the Bible. How are we studying it? Do you or your church take time to study the Bible in the context of your life? You may know the exegesis or hermeneutics of the situation but do you get that God wrote the passage for you? He expects you to obey His instruction and change your ways. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 makes the course ahead of us very clear.
It states, "All scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work." Let's think about the words reproof and correction for a moment. Reproof is when your mother is calling you to task for not cleaning your room, ouch. Correction is when your boss tells you that you've been doing it all wrong, double ouch! Some of the other words present in this passage tells us what will happen after we hear the truth. We have to be retrained, and made complete. Note to self: we are not complete until we choose to obey God. The word complete is another way of expressing the concept of maturity. When we are mature, we are then equipped for the goods works that we should be doing.
Imagine the results for our churches. With the changes that happen in our lives we can start to help others in need. Frankie's insight into his life could help Craig. Betty could help others with what she has learned about healing her own marriage. When we learn to "esteem others higher than ourself" Philippians 2:3 Jackie won't call it a joke to make fun of others. We have so far to go and the stakes are high. Our enemy Satan wants nothing better than to keep us as ineffectual followers of Jesus.
*people and church names have been changed.
We all need to be made again, so let's look at a few stories which we may relate to. When I first met Frankie* at Church we became fast friends. We seemed to bond over studying the Word of God. He had a zeal for evangelizing yet he did not see how his womanizing ways dimished his witness for Jesus. We went out to eat at a trendy riverfront restaurant. All was going well until near the end of the dinner. In the middle of our discussion he averted his eyes from mine to acknowledge a woman passing by in a short, lacy skirt. His neck eventually followed his eyes and before you know it this mighty man of God was reduced to a groveling sinner. To make matters worst, he wanted to leave a religious tract on the table when we left. I patiently explained to him how he was a poor role model for everyone in that restaurant. If one of the staff picked up that religious tract and had happened to witness his ungodly behavior he would have succeeded in turning them off to Jesus.
Betty* was always complaining about her Catholic husband. Betty* who now attended Golgotha Chapel* had met Sam* in her early twenties. Her Christian walk was such that she could not resist this man and ended up getting pregnant before they were married. He continued attending his church and she hers. As the years went by, they grew apart. She thought her Church better than his and constantly said how much she hated him. One day, I shared some marriage ministry materials that I had used, and challenged her to stop saying that she hated her husband. I let her know there was hope for her marriage and it began with her. More drama at Golgotha ensued over the years. The Pastor's wife was giving a women's bible study one day. The topic that night brought pain to one of the ladies, Missy* concerning her relationship with her mother. This Pastors wife had never dealt with her own mother issues and presented a very ungodly answer to this congregant in pain. She continued to give ungodly advice that same evening concerning pre-marital sex. Shocking. I spoke to the other ladies but nothing was ever done to right the wrongs that evening. The Pastor was not the godly head of that household and a story from the pulpit one day helped me understand the problems in this Church better.
Pastor Bobby* described a time when his family was grabbing food at a Rockland County shopping mall. He said his wife was very rude to a young man behind a fast food counter. Instead of being a godly husband and mediating the situation he thought it was the funniest thing that he just hid behind a pillar until it was all over. He hid from a lot of things including rudeness and bullying about my ethnic culture that occurred on an Internatiomal Night at our church. The evening was meant to celebrate the food and culture of church attendees. When a Dutch woman named Jackie*, whose husband worked at the United Nations, insulted my culture and belittled its history, the Pastor couldn't care less. He said he was just relaxing that night and didn't want to deal with it. I guess some cultures are better than others at this Church.
What do all these stories have in common? Christian immaturity! And it has far-reaching effects in a church. Take the case of brother Craig.*. Brother Craig knows his bible well. He is influential and involved in many ministries at Hope*Church. There is only one problem : he touches women in inappropriate ways. He is devious enough to do it in a way that is just on the line between right and wrong. There is the evil. But, I also know everyone is so busy making nice at this Church, that they
work overtime to find a way to ignore or explain Craig's behavior away. The damage that immature churches do is incalculable. People are wronged and end up leaving churches. Some of our churches in Westchester are destroying families, like in the case of Pastor Bobby, who gave out terrible marital advice to couples who came to him for help. People are filling psychologists' offices in Westchester County over pain experienced in local churches. The worst consequence of not pursuing Christian maturity in your church is seeing people end their relationship with Jesus Christ and growing discouraged. I know a few people from Golgotha Chapel who have sought peace in yoga and meditation.
The early Church described in Hebrew 5:11-12 comes to mind when I think of this problem. It very clearly speaks of a church who is not growing in maturity. That Church still needed "milk, not solid food." The effects of not giving up milk for a baby are quite serious. They will fail to put on the necessary weight to grow and will fail to thrive. The child would die. So when Paul wrote to Timothy using this analogy, it was a serious discussion of what would happen to a church if it does not grow. What are some reasons why a church fails to mature? Sometimes it is immature leadership. Other times it is due to an improper understanding of the concept of discipleship.
In the case of immature leadership, sometimes changes need to be made. Decide to commit this problem to prayer. If you are an elder pray that God directs you in the situation. On the topic of discipleship, I find this a very big problem. It is so important for us to study the Bible. How are we studying it? Do you or your church take time to study the Bible in the context of your life? You may know the exegesis or hermeneutics of the situation but do you get that God wrote the passage for you? He expects you to obey His instruction and change your ways. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 makes the course ahead of us very clear.
It states, "All scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work." Let's think about the words reproof and correction for a moment. Reproof is when your mother is calling you to task for not cleaning your room, ouch. Correction is when your boss tells you that you've been doing it all wrong, double ouch! Some of the other words present in this passage tells us what will happen after we hear the truth. We have to be retrained, and made complete. Note to self: we are not complete until we choose to obey God. The word complete is another way of expressing the concept of maturity. When we are mature, we are then equipped for the goods works that we should be doing.
Imagine the results for our churches. With the changes that happen in our lives we can start to help others in need. Frankie's insight into his life could help Craig. Betty could help others with what she has learned about healing her own marriage. When we learn to "esteem others higher than ourself" Philippians 2:3 Jackie won't call it a joke to make fun of others. We have so far to go and the stakes are high. Our enemy Satan wants nothing better than to keep us as ineffectual followers of Jesus.
*people and church names have been changed.
Saturday, January 28, 2017
Christian Wife Reviews "Silence"
Mark 11:18 (ESV)-"And the chief priests and the scribes heard it and were seeking a way to destroy him, for they feared him, because all the crowd was astonished at his teaching."
The movie Silence by Martin Scorcese is a project almost thirty years in the making. Based on the 1966 novel, Silence by Shūsaku Endō, it tells the story of the Jesuits attempt to bring Catholicism to Japan in the Seventeenth Century. It opens with a Jesuit official informing two young priests that their beloved teacher Father Cristóvão Ferreira had renounced the faith while undergoing torture. The young men are broken-hearted and incredulous. This scene serves as the beginning of their cruel "coming-of-age" story. Father Rodrigues and Father Garupe are determined to clear Father Ferreira's name, and in the process give support to the beleaguered Japanese Catholic population at the time. They are warned that this is a highly dangerous endeavor as Catholicism is outlawed in the island nation.
They need to get a guide, and in a sign of just how impossible their mission will be; they apparently can't do better than an alcoholic fisherman named Kichijiro. He is drunk and dirty sleeping in the back of a bar. When he is introduced as a Christian, he objects. As time goes by, we learn that he renounced Catholicism in order to save his life. He struggles to reconcile this with the fact that his whole family died rather than renounce their faith and therein lies the eternal struggle that he must face. He is stuck in a varietable revolving door of betrayal, sin, and confession in trying to cope with the impossible odds of remaining Catholic in Imperial Japan.
The priests then are transported and meet a group of underground Christians who are thrilled and welcoming to the young priests. The scenes of Church life in caves seem to be reminiscent of ancient catacombs and meant to draw comparisons. Yet, the heavy and pressing message is; this will not have the same outcome as it did for ancient Roman believers. The Japanese Catholics protect and feed the priests. The priests are given an update of the persecution of the Church and provided with plans for evading the Japanese authorities. This plan reduces them to living like frightened little mice who can only come out at night.
Under these circumstances, the first stresses and tests of faith begin to appear. They will only increase as the local authorities begin a persecution of those suspected of being Christians. The scenes depicting torture and death for the Catholic populations are both brutal and intense. With each wave of villagers dying, we see that the main desire of the authorities is to neutralize the priests in order to destroy the plant by first destroying the roots feeding it. They are ready, willing and able to culturally go toe to toe with the would be religious contender and win that battle of the faiths by convincing two out of three of the priests to renounce their faith.
The messages of this movie, at its' worst, is that : 1. a well-thought out plan to stamp-out Christianity can certainly succeed, 2. who or why would anyone stand up to the torture or, 3. that faith is a fantasy. But, I could not help comparing the torture experienced by these fictious believers to the actual brutal torture of Christians in the Middle East today. The systematic plan to annihilate the Christian faith in the Middle East has taken a horrific turn within the past eight years that many of us can still hardly fathom. When the first images of beheadings, and torture made their way to news headlines, people were shocked. The heavily anti-Christian governments of Europe and the Obama Administrations did nothing to help these true victims of the out-of-control conflicts that broke out all over Africa and the Middle East.
For many comfortable Christians worldwide, it was their first awakening to the possibility of persecution in their own lifetime. The lessons in the Bible regarding the persecution of believers became less distant and more relatable. I wonder what these persecutions mean to the worldwide churches of today? While I assume they must be against it, their responses have been underwhelming. What are some of the reasons for this? Lack of unity between Christian denominations? Churches not wanting to bring in unpleasantries? Where were the marches, the appeals to government agencies of the various countries that we live in? We should have made the headlines everyday. Are we in a crisis of faith? Ashamed of our beliefs? The story of Peter, so close to Jesus yet unable to stand up to his first persecution might serve as a humbling lesson for us. (Luke 22:54-62). The audience at the theater where I saw this movie, went into absolute hysterics when confronted with Kichijiro struggling to stay true to his faith. Are we living in such a rarefied environment that we can no longer even relate with the suffering of others?
This movie has as its premise the crisis of faith. It examines the harsh realities of a world, a lot like the world of today, where the practice of your Christian faith is deeply threatening to those around you. Just like in Imperial Japan, we find ourselves in an era where values of the Christian faith have. been outlawed. We live in a virtual cave ourselves, practicing our beliefs in secret, like those in the movie. An image at the end of Silence suggests that one of the priests thought to have converted to Shinto still held on to his faith. One small voice. Who had he converted? The U.S. election results are a partial commentary on the frustrations of Christians living in America. In the 2016/2017 election cycle we see the long sleeping giant of practicing Christians awaken to vote. That vote has angered those who have long thought us vanquished. They, like the Japanese authorities in this movie, will fight on. We must to. At the end of the movie, we see that Silence correctly suggests that the battle between Christianity and the world will continue.
Revelation 6:9-"When he opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain for the word of God and for the witness they had borne."
The movie Silence by Martin Scorcese is a project almost thirty years in the making. Based on the 1966 novel, Silence by Shūsaku Endō, it tells the story of the Jesuits attempt to bring Catholicism to Japan in the Seventeenth Century. It opens with a Jesuit official informing two young priests that their beloved teacher Father Cristóvão Ferreira had renounced the faith while undergoing torture. The young men are broken-hearted and incredulous. This scene serves as the beginning of their cruel "coming-of-age" story. Father Rodrigues and Father Garupe are determined to clear Father Ferreira's name, and in the process give support to the beleaguered Japanese Catholic population at the time. They are warned that this is a highly dangerous endeavor as Catholicism is outlawed in the island nation.
They need to get a guide, and in a sign of just how impossible their mission will be; they apparently can't do better than an alcoholic fisherman named Kichijiro. He is drunk and dirty sleeping in the back of a bar. When he is introduced as a Christian, he objects. As time goes by, we learn that he renounced Catholicism in order to save his life. He struggles to reconcile this with the fact that his whole family died rather than renounce their faith and therein lies the eternal struggle that he must face. He is stuck in a varietable revolving door of betrayal, sin, and confession in trying to cope with the impossible odds of remaining Catholic in Imperial Japan.
The priests then are transported and meet a group of underground Christians who are thrilled and welcoming to the young priests. The scenes of Church life in caves seem to be reminiscent of ancient catacombs and meant to draw comparisons. Yet, the heavy and pressing message is; this will not have the same outcome as it did for ancient Roman believers. The Japanese Catholics protect and feed the priests. The priests are given an update of the persecution of the Church and provided with plans for evading the Japanese authorities. This plan reduces them to living like frightened little mice who can only come out at night.
Under these circumstances, the first stresses and tests of faith begin to appear. They will only increase as the local authorities begin a persecution of those suspected of being Christians. The scenes depicting torture and death for the Catholic populations are both brutal and intense. With each wave of villagers dying, we see that the main desire of the authorities is to neutralize the priests in order to destroy the plant by first destroying the roots feeding it. They are ready, willing and able to culturally go toe to toe with the would be religious contender and win that battle of the faiths by convincing two out of three of the priests to renounce their faith.
The messages of this movie, at its' worst, is that : 1. a well-thought out plan to stamp-out Christianity can certainly succeed, 2. who or why would anyone stand up to the torture or, 3. that faith is a fantasy. But, I could not help comparing the torture experienced by these fictious believers to the actual brutal torture of Christians in the Middle East today. The systematic plan to annihilate the Christian faith in the Middle East has taken a horrific turn within the past eight years that many of us can still hardly fathom. When the first images of beheadings, and torture made their way to news headlines, people were shocked. The heavily anti-Christian governments of Europe and the Obama Administrations did nothing to help these true victims of the out-of-control conflicts that broke out all over Africa and the Middle East.
For many comfortable Christians worldwide, it was their first awakening to the possibility of persecution in their own lifetime. The lessons in the Bible regarding the persecution of believers became less distant and more relatable. I wonder what these persecutions mean to the worldwide churches of today? While I assume they must be against it, their responses have been underwhelming. What are some of the reasons for this? Lack of unity between Christian denominations? Churches not wanting to bring in unpleasantries? Where were the marches, the appeals to government agencies of the various countries that we live in? We should have made the headlines everyday. Are we in a crisis of faith? Ashamed of our beliefs? The story of Peter, so close to Jesus yet unable to stand up to his first persecution might serve as a humbling lesson for us. (Luke 22:54-62). The audience at the theater where I saw this movie, went into absolute hysterics when confronted with Kichijiro struggling to stay true to his faith. Are we living in such a rarefied environment that we can no longer even relate with the suffering of others?
This movie has as its premise the crisis of faith. It examines the harsh realities of a world, a lot like the world of today, where the practice of your Christian faith is deeply threatening to those around you. Just like in Imperial Japan, we find ourselves in an era where values of the Christian faith have. been outlawed. We live in a virtual cave ourselves, practicing our beliefs in secret, like those in the movie. An image at the end of Silence suggests that one of the priests thought to have converted to Shinto still held on to his faith. One small voice. Who had he converted? The U.S. election results are a partial commentary on the frustrations of Christians living in America. In the 2016/2017 election cycle we see the long sleeping giant of practicing Christians awaken to vote. That vote has angered those who have long thought us vanquished. They, like the Japanese authorities in this movie, will fight on. We must to. At the end of the movie, we see that Silence correctly suggests that the battle between Christianity and the world will continue.
Revelation 6:9-"When he opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain for the word of God and for the witness they had borne."
Monday, January 16, 2017
Marriage For The Wrong Reasons
I was recently reflecting on just how many people marry for the WRONG reasons. People marry for looks, money, or because they want to have a child before it is too late. They marry because they are lonely or because it is what is expected of them.
The partners that we have or continue to choose reflects who we are and what our values are. Our choice of partners reflects just where we are emotionally and spiritually. It is wise to reflect upon this now and again. By doing so, we can uncover the current basis of our discontent and help break longheld patterns which lead to unhappiness.
Let's consider one example to illustrate these principles. Omar* is the successful owner of a business here in Westchester County, New York. His success in business owes to his hard work and customer service. He also has a keen knack of choosing the best people to work for him. Unfortunately, Omar has not been as successful in choosing spouses. Omar is currently facing a second divorce. From a financial point of view, Omar's marriages have been a disaster. In each case, his net worth has been cut in half. But, what of the spiritual costs?
Omar was born into a hard-working middle class family in one of the wealthier villages in Westchester County. His family provided for him by running a shop providing the goods and services needed in that community. He learned a work ethic and the basics of running a small business from his father. He also learned some other things as well; such as an eye for a beautiful woman and controlling behavior.
He attended the local high school rubbing shoulders with the children of the customers in his father's shop. They, the sons and daughters of famous musicians, professors, and business elite and he, the guy "whose family owned that shop." Although attending school together, there was a strict social demarcation between these families in that community. Omar's friendships reflected a working to middle class make-up. His closest friends were the children of local contractors, other shop owners and civil servants.
But, he dreamed of more. He dreamed of running a business just like his fathers', only more lucrative. He dreamed of dating one of those rich, skinny, popular girls and becoming rich. Early on, he focused on one girl in particular. Her name was Ann*. Ann's philosophy of life already was, "you can't be too rich or too thin." Indeed, that ethos hung thick in her families' values. So, when she and Omar meet, it was murder.
When Ann agreed to date him, he felt that he had finally arrived into the inner circle of cool at ********* High School. When Ann dated him, she felt that she had finally escaped some of the boredom and tedium of upper crust Westchester life. She also enjoyed shocking her friends and family by her choice of dates. One thing was for sure, they were more drawn to what the other person did for them than who the other person was. That folks is a recipe for disaster.
Their marriage produced two children and the successful business that Omar and Ann dreamed of. He bought a million dollar home in the more fashionable section of town. But, this marriage did not have a fairy tale ending. Amid allegations of alcoholism and affairs on both their parts, this marriage ended. It was at this low point in his life, that Omar accepted an invitation to Church.
At this Church, he began to learn about who God was and what the Bible had to say about marriage and the family. He began to think that maybe there was another way to look at life and approach things, other than the way he had approached things. The Pastor helped him to dig deep and understand that God had a meaning and a purpose for Omar's life that was very different from the way he had been living. With this new found knowledge, he was able to begin rebuilding his broken life. He made a decision that he wanted to be a Christian and be baptized in the faith.
There were many changes in Omar's life. He began to see his wealth, as a blessing from God. For the first time he felt grateful to someone other than himself. He began to give a ten percent offering to his Church to promote ministries and help the poor. Friends and family began to note positive changes to his character, including a moderate approach to drinking beer and wine. But there is one area of his life that he would not completely surrender to the Lord Jesus Christ.
No where in the Bible is marriage for the wrong reasons illustrated better than in Genesis 29-30, where we find the story of Jacob and the women in his life. Like Omar, Jacob was a man who had a whole lot of drama with women. It is in a romantic setting by a well in Haran, where Jacob first beholds the beautiful Rachel. "Now while he was still speaking with them (people that Jacob was asking directions of), Rachel came with her father's sheep, for she was a shepherdess. And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother's brother, and the sheep of Laban his mother's brother, that Jacob went near and rolled the stone from the well's mouth, and watered the flock of Laban his mother's brother. Then Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice and wept. And Jacob told Rachel that he was her father's relative and that he was Rebekah's son. So she ran and told her father." Genesis 29:9-12
In one of the most romantic moments of the Bible we see a young man overcome with emotion and emboldened in his actions when he meets the woman that he knows is "the one!" It is truly "love at first sight" when he sees Rachel approach the well accompanied by her flock of sheep. It is the kind of moment which makes a man lose all sense of social decorum and where he enters a state of delirium, as one in a fever. He is lovesick. We can see all the signs. Firstly, without any prompting he puts his muscles to work in the labor of moving a heavy stone covering the well, in order to assist Rachel who is there to water her flock. Many a wife would appreciate that kind of help after the wedding! One can find amusement imagining how far Jacob would have gone to impress Rachel. Another sign of a lovesick man is the ups and downs in emotion that we see Jacob experience in verse 11, in one moment he does something completely inappropriate,i.e. kisses Rachel, and the next minute he is crying.
Heaven help us Jacob is in love. In an act of treachery not unlike the con that he pulled on his brother Esau, Rachel's father pulls the old "bait and switch" on Jacob and substitutes another daughter tricking Jacob into marrying his older and uglier daughter Leah (Genesis 29:21-25). Leah is the responsible and mature one. She loves Jacob the way a good woman loves her man. She represents the service and practical aspect of marriage, which is very important. But just like Omar, Jacob is drawn to the excitement and drama of Rachel. In the time that I knew Omar, he managed to get into a tumultuous affair with a woman at Church and a nightmare of a second marriage.
Just like Jacob there were years of battles between the women who loved Omar. Omar's first and second wives ended up calling the police on one another. There were court room battles regarding money and children. The spurned woman at Church that had an affair with Omar was jealous that Omar did not marry her. She confessed her fornication quite dramatically at Church drawing us along into the sad results of that affair. Although God forgave her and gave her a wonderful husband, she always seemed to be looking back and never seemed to appreciate what God had given her. Continuing in Chapter 29 and 30 of Genesis we can note how closely these women's lives are reflected in this biblical story.
How can we get past the drama in our own life and have a godly marriage? It begins with understanding what marriage is all about. It is not merely an emotion, and it is not just all work. Perhaps what we really seek in marriage is a partner who combines the best of Rachel and Leah. We desire the passion that a Rachel brings and yet respect the hard work and love that Leah brings. Are you always surrounded by drama? Does everything in your relationships seem so hard? Well then you may be a Jacob. In his story we find he labored seven years for his bride, then another seven years on top of that. His marriages exhaust me just reading about them.
Contrast that with his father Isaac who did not labor for a wife at all. In Genesis we see the reason why. In Genesis 24:1-14 we see that God's involvement from beginning to end is the reason. In Chapter 24, verse twelve we see a different well and a very different scene. The setting is a well at Nahor in Mesopotamia. Abraham has sent his most trusted servant to find a wife for Isaac. After swearing an oath that this servant would not find a wife amid the ungodly, we see the servant follow through with this task. In this poignant scene in Nahor, we see the servant begins in prayer : "Then he said, "O Lord God of my master Abraham. Behold, here I stand by the well of water, and the daughters of the men in the city are coming out to draw water. Now let it be that the young woman to whom I say, 'Please let down your pitcher that I may drink,' and she says,'Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink - let her be the one You have appointed for Your servant Isaac. And by this I will know that You have shown kindness to my master."
Let us seek God early in the dating process and ask God to choose the right spouse for us, as those close to Isaac did. Furthermore, add virtue to your relationship. In holding back the flames of desire, we instead endeavor to get to know the person that we are attracted to. We can then begin to balance our passion with the practical matters of marriage. Give yourself a chance to get to know someone in true intimacy. This will set the stage for a well-balanced marriage.
* The names and a few details are changed.
********* A Westchester High School.
NEXT WEEK : Movie Review-Silence (movie by Martin Scorcese)
The partners that we have or continue to choose reflects who we are and what our values are. Our choice of partners reflects just where we are emotionally and spiritually. It is wise to reflect upon this now and again. By doing so, we can uncover the current basis of our discontent and help break longheld patterns which lead to unhappiness.
Let's consider one example to illustrate these principles. Omar* is the successful owner of a business here in Westchester County, New York. His success in business owes to his hard work and customer service. He also has a keen knack of choosing the best people to work for him. Unfortunately, Omar has not been as successful in choosing spouses. Omar is currently facing a second divorce. From a financial point of view, Omar's marriages have been a disaster. In each case, his net worth has been cut in half. But, what of the spiritual costs?
Omar was born into a hard-working middle class family in one of the wealthier villages in Westchester County. His family provided for him by running a shop providing the goods and services needed in that community. He learned a work ethic and the basics of running a small business from his father. He also learned some other things as well; such as an eye for a beautiful woman and controlling behavior.
He attended the local high school rubbing shoulders with the children of the customers in his father's shop. They, the sons and daughters of famous musicians, professors, and business elite and he, the guy "whose family owned that shop." Although attending school together, there was a strict social demarcation between these families in that community. Omar's friendships reflected a working to middle class make-up. His closest friends were the children of local contractors, other shop owners and civil servants.
But, he dreamed of more. He dreamed of running a business just like his fathers', only more lucrative. He dreamed of dating one of those rich, skinny, popular girls and becoming rich. Early on, he focused on one girl in particular. Her name was Ann*. Ann's philosophy of life already was, "you can't be too rich or too thin." Indeed, that ethos hung thick in her families' values. So, when she and Omar meet, it was murder.
When Ann agreed to date him, he felt that he had finally arrived into the inner circle of cool at ********* High School. When Ann dated him, she felt that she had finally escaped some of the boredom and tedium of upper crust Westchester life. She also enjoyed shocking her friends and family by her choice of dates. One thing was for sure, they were more drawn to what the other person did for them than who the other person was. That folks is a recipe for disaster.
Their marriage produced two children and the successful business that Omar and Ann dreamed of. He bought a million dollar home in the more fashionable section of town. But, this marriage did not have a fairy tale ending. Amid allegations of alcoholism and affairs on both their parts, this marriage ended. It was at this low point in his life, that Omar accepted an invitation to Church.
At this Church, he began to learn about who God was and what the Bible had to say about marriage and the family. He began to think that maybe there was another way to look at life and approach things, other than the way he had approached things. The Pastor helped him to dig deep and understand that God had a meaning and a purpose for Omar's life that was very different from the way he had been living. With this new found knowledge, he was able to begin rebuilding his broken life. He made a decision that he wanted to be a Christian and be baptized in the faith.
There were many changes in Omar's life. He began to see his wealth, as a blessing from God. For the first time he felt grateful to someone other than himself. He began to give a ten percent offering to his Church to promote ministries and help the poor. Friends and family began to note positive changes to his character, including a moderate approach to drinking beer and wine. But there is one area of his life that he would not completely surrender to the Lord Jesus Christ.
No where in the Bible is marriage for the wrong reasons illustrated better than in Genesis 29-30, where we find the story of Jacob and the women in his life. Like Omar, Jacob was a man who had a whole lot of drama with women. It is in a romantic setting by a well in Haran, where Jacob first beholds the beautiful Rachel. "Now while he was still speaking with them (people that Jacob was asking directions of), Rachel came with her father's sheep, for she was a shepherdess. And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother's brother, and the sheep of Laban his mother's brother, that Jacob went near and rolled the stone from the well's mouth, and watered the flock of Laban his mother's brother. Then Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice and wept. And Jacob told Rachel that he was her father's relative and that he was Rebekah's son. So she ran and told her father." Genesis 29:9-12
In one of the most romantic moments of the Bible we see a young man overcome with emotion and emboldened in his actions when he meets the woman that he knows is "the one!" It is truly "love at first sight" when he sees Rachel approach the well accompanied by her flock of sheep. It is the kind of moment which makes a man lose all sense of social decorum and where he enters a state of delirium, as one in a fever. He is lovesick. We can see all the signs. Firstly, without any prompting he puts his muscles to work in the labor of moving a heavy stone covering the well, in order to assist Rachel who is there to water her flock. Many a wife would appreciate that kind of help after the wedding! One can find amusement imagining how far Jacob would have gone to impress Rachel. Another sign of a lovesick man is the ups and downs in emotion that we see Jacob experience in verse 11, in one moment he does something completely inappropriate,i.e. kisses Rachel, and the next minute he is crying.
Heaven help us Jacob is in love. In an act of treachery not unlike the con that he pulled on his brother Esau, Rachel's father pulls the old "bait and switch" on Jacob and substitutes another daughter tricking Jacob into marrying his older and uglier daughter Leah (Genesis 29:21-25). Leah is the responsible and mature one. She loves Jacob the way a good woman loves her man. She represents the service and practical aspect of marriage, which is very important. But just like Omar, Jacob is drawn to the excitement and drama of Rachel. In the time that I knew Omar, he managed to get into a tumultuous affair with a woman at Church and a nightmare of a second marriage.
Just like Jacob there were years of battles between the women who loved Omar. Omar's first and second wives ended up calling the police on one another. There were court room battles regarding money and children. The spurned woman at Church that had an affair with Omar was jealous that Omar did not marry her. She confessed her fornication quite dramatically at Church drawing us along into the sad results of that affair. Although God forgave her and gave her a wonderful husband, she always seemed to be looking back and never seemed to appreciate what God had given her. Continuing in Chapter 29 and 30 of Genesis we can note how closely these women's lives are reflected in this biblical story.
How can we get past the drama in our own life and have a godly marriage? It begins with understanding what marriage is all about. It is not merely an emotion, and it is not just all work. Perhaps what we really seek in marriage is a partner who combines the best of Rachel and Leah. We desire the passion that a Rachel brings and yet respect the hard work and love that Leah brings. Are you always surrounded by drama? Does everything in your relationships seem so hard? Well then you may be a Jacob. In his story we find he labored seven years for his bride, then another seven years on top of that. His marriages exhaust me just reading about them.
Contrast that with his father Isaac who did not labor for a wife at all. In Genesis we see the reason why. In Genesis 24:1-14 we see that God's involvement from beginning to end is the reason. In Chapter 24, verse twelve we see a different well and a very different scene. The setting is a well at Nahor in Mesopotamia. Abraham has sent his most trusted servant to find a wife for Isaac. After swearing an oath that this servant would not find a wife amid the ungodly, we see the servant follow through with this task. In this poignant scene in Nahor, we see the servant begins in prayer : "Then he said, "O Lord God of my master Abraham. Behold, here I stand by the well of water, and the daughters of the men in the city are coming out to draw water. Now let it be that the young woman to whom I say, 'Please let down your pitcher that I may drink,' and she says,'Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink - let her be the one You have appointed for Your servant Isaac. And by this I will know that You have shown kindness to my master."
Let us seek God early in the dating process and ask God to choose the right spouse for us, as those close to Isaac did. Furthermore, add virtue to your relationship. In holding back the flames of desire, we instead endeavor to get to know the person that we are attracted to. We can then begin to balance our passion with the practical matters of marriage. Give yourself a chance to get to know someone in true intimacy. This will set the stage for a well-balanced marriage.
* The names and a few details are changed.
********* A Westchester High School.
NEXT WEEK : Movie Review-Silence (movie by Martin Scorcese)
Friday, January 6, 2017
The Winter Blues May Be a Myth!
Good news for those dreading the season of winter. The concept of the "winter blues" or "seasonal affective disorder" may be a myth. Scientists are busy re-examining this whole concept. I have read of at least three studies that have looked at this topic from many different angles. They have all concluded that there is no evidence that people are any more depressed in the cold weather than at any other time of the year. In fact, one study coming out of the University of Liége, Belgium suggests that our brain may actually function better during the winter months. "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." - Ecclesiastes 3:1.
The term, seasonal affective disorder or SAD, came into the lexicon in the 1980's. It now appears that the original scientific investigation identifying this disorder, may have been skewed by choosing study participants who all complained of winter-related mood changes. This would introduce statistical bias into those earlier studies upon which our current facts are based. This new found information left me quite disconcerted. I should be happy but studying the latest findings challenges my whole winter mindset. It most certainly will lead to confrontations with friends and family. It has become customary in my circle of friends to complain about low-energy, depression and weight gain during the winter months. The culprit? Why, seasonal affective disorder of course! This news will even change my reading habits since magazines touting strategies for beating the "winter blues" always catch my eye. "He hath made every thing beautiful in his time." -Ecclesiastes 3:11a.
To be sure, every season and weather condition presents its challenges. The good news appears to be that maybe we can tone down the rhetoric and even find some reasons to enjoy the weather (and the added brain power). Remain active in your life. Skiing, ice skating and snow-shoeing present excellent opportunities to enjoy the sun for the limited time it is shining. You will feel warm in no time. If you miss jogging or walking in the evening, why not substitute a walk in your local mall or take an exercise class. Start a new hobby (a new language perhaps) or recognize the added inside time as an opportunity to organize your closet or home office. Make hot cocoa, or a pot of soup and invite over some company. Wear appropriate attire so that you are more comfortable when outdoors. Cozy blankets and candles go a long way towards creating a happy and supportive environment for you during the winter months. With some brainstorming you can make the adjustments that you need to enjoy the season. "This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." - Psalm 118:24.
The term, seasonal affective disorder or SAD, came into the lexicon in the 1980's. It now appears that the original scientific investigation identifying this disorder, may have been skewed by choosing study participants who all complained of winter-related mood changes. This would introduce statistical bias into those earlier studies upon which our current facts are based. This new found information left me quite disconcerted. I should be happy but studying the latest findings challenges my whole winter mindset. It most certainly will lead to confrontations with friends and family. It has become customary in my circle of friends to complain about low-energy, depression and weight gain during the winter months. The culprit? Why, seasonal affective disorder of course! This news will even change my reading habits since magazines touting strategies for beating the "winter blues" always catch my eye. "He hath made every thing beautiful in his time." -Ecclesiastes 3:11a.
To be sure, every season and weather condition presents its challenges. The good news appears to be that maybe we can tone down the rhetoric and even find some reasons to enjoy the weather (and the added brain power). Remain active in your life. Skiing, ice skating and snow-shoeing present excellent opportunities to enjoy the sun for the limited time it is shining. You will feel warm in no time. If you miss jogging or walking in the evening, why not substitute a walk in your local mall or take an exercise class. Start a new hobby (a new language perhaps) or recognize the added inside time as an opportunity to organize your closet or home office. Make hot cocoa, or a pot of soup and invite over some company. Wear appropriate attire so that you are more comfortable when outdoors. Cozy blankets and candles go a long way towards creating a happy and supportive environment for you during the winter months. With some brainstorming you can make the adjustments that you need to enjoy the season. "This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." - Psalm 118:24.
Friday, December 30, 2016
New Year, New Beginnings
This year as we ring in the New Year I hope and pray for postitive new directions in your life and mine. If we are not moving ahead we will surely be moving backward. So let us resolve to look at things differently and seek God's guidance in a way we never have before.
The Bible has a lot to say about change and growth and how we are to attain it. It begins with having reverence and respect for God. Here is a primer on who He is : "Hast thou not known? Hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither's weary? There is no searching of His understanding." Isaiah 40:28-31.
It is traditional to look at our life in the previous year and evaluate what has passed in an effort to determine fitting goals for the upcoming year. I personally love this tradition. In our busy and hectic lives the tradition of making New Year's Resolutions is a great impetus for self-improvement. It needs to be an honest assessment if it is to do any good.
Did I make foolish business decisions, what have I learned? Do I keep on picking bad relationship partners? What not so comfortable truths about ourselves do we need to assess? It may even be something more serious. If that is the case, dear friend, you can face whatever it is and begin to find a new path with God's help. There may be those reading this who have been engaged in something immoral or illegal. You can turn the page in your life and begin a new chapter! "And such were some of you but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of God." 1 Corinthians 6:11.
Beginning a new chapter will require strength and courage. We have a certain comfort level with our bad habits. Want to lose twenty pounds, clean your house or lose the attitude? It will be a fight. We begin that fight by changing our thought patterns. Realize that we all have rationalizations for our bad behaviors. A wife I know, is often frustrated with her husband's lack of attention. After a typical work day, he will just come home and put the television on. She asked him if he could shut it off and just spend some time with her. His justification for answering in the negative was that he "needed it to unwind from his stressful day." I have heard a Christian, once a wife-beater, remark on more than one occasion that, "she makes me so mad or, she made me do it!" When I simply said, "no, that is not true. No one can make you do that, you choose that. You have the problem." The simple openness to that truth lead this young man to accept responsibility for his actions and chart a WHOLE new course in his life.
So, we begin to replace the lies with some truth. This is essential. "No, I don't have a slow metabolism; I just eat too much." "Okay, I don't like housework but my kids are embarrassed to bring friends over. It is time for me to come up with a plan." " My caustic comments are not funny just cruel." "I am depressed about my life and need to seek help" or " I have an anger management problem that I need to face." "I am a criminal." The Bible tells us about pursuing positive goals. "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy meditate on these things."Philippians 4:8.
The next step is action. Talk to people who will challenge you. Start an exercise class. Shut that television off more and seek human interaction. Do you need to take an anger management class or do a drug or alcohol detox? Resolve to take whatever action that you must to change the direction of your life in the upcoming year. Read the Bible which is the guidebook for positive new direction and growth. Go to God to strengthen you in the tasks ahead, and remember : "as a shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that he is among his sheep that are scattered; so will I seek out my sheep, and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day." You are not alone, God Almighty has your back!
Finally, this world can often beat us down. We lose hope. But, in the final book of the Bible, we are reminded of just who Jesus is. "And He that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new." Revelation 21:5a
Happy New Year to all my dear readers. I want to especially thank my readers in the United States, France, Portugal and Switzerland. I pray for you often and with much affection. May God bless you and keep you in this upcoming year! Any comments or topics that you would like to see covered? Just write them in the comment sections below.
The Bible has a lot to say about change and growth and how we are to attain it. It begins with having reverence and respect for God. Here is a primer on who He is : "Hast thou not known? Hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither's weary? There is no searching of His understanding." Isaiah 40:28-31.
It is traditional to look at our life in the previous year and evaluate what has passed in an effort to determine fitting goals for the upcoming year. I personally love this tradition. In our busy and hectic lives the tradition of making New Year's Resolutions is a great impetus for self-improvement. It needs to be an honest assessment if it is to do any good.
Did I make foolish business decisions, what have I learned? Do I keep on picking bad relationship partners? What not so comfortable truths about ourselves do we need to assess? It may even be something more serious. If that is the case, dear friend, you can face whatever it is and begin to find a new path with God's help. There may be those reading this who have been engaged in something immoral or illegal. You can turn the page in your life and begin a new chapter! "And such were some of you but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of God." 1 Corinthians 6:11.
Beginning a new chapter will require strength and courage. We have a certain comfort level with our bad habits. Want to lose twenty pounds, clean your house or lose the attitude? It will be a fight. We begin that fight by changing our thought patterns. Realize that we all have rationalizations for our bad behaviors. A wife I know, is often frustrated with her husband's lack of attention. After a typical work day, he will just come home and put the television on. She asked him if he could shut it off and just spend some time with her. His justification for answering in the negative was that he "needed it to unwind from his stressful day." I have heard a Christian, once a wife-beater, remark on more than one occasion that, "she makes me so mad or, she made me do it!" When I simply said, "no, that is not true. No one can make you do that, you choose that. You have the problem." The simple openness to that truth lead this young man to accept responsibility for his actions and chart a WHOLE new course in his life.
So, we begin to replace the lies with some truth. This is essential. "No, I don't have a slow metabolism; I just eat too much." "Okay, I don't like housework but my kids are embarrassed to bring friends over. It is time for me to come up with a plan." " My caustic comments are not funny just cruel." "I am depressed about my life and need to seek help" or " I have an anger management problem that I need to face." "I am a criminal." The Bible tells us about pursuing positive goals. "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy meditate on these things."Philippians 4:8.
The next step is action. Talk to people who will challenge you. Start an exercise class. Shut that television off more and seek human interaction. Do you need to take an anger management class or do a drug or alcohol detox? Resolve to take whatever action that you must to change the direction of your life in the upcoming year. Read the Bible which is the guidebook for positive new direction and growth. Go to God to strengthen you in the tasks ahead, and remember : "as a shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that he is among his sheep that are scattered; so will I seek out my sheep, and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day." You are not alone, God Almighty has your back!
Finally, this world can often beat us down. We lose hope. But, in the final book of the Bible, we are reminded of just who Jesus is. "And He that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new." Revelation 21:5a
Happy New Year to all my dear readers. I want to especially thank my readers in the United States, France, Portugal and Switzerland. I pray for you often and with much affection. May God bless you and keep you in this upcoming year! Any comments or topics that you would like to see covered? Just write them in the comment sections below.
Friday, December 16, 2016
Christmas Miracles
One year ago, I decided I would do a Christian blog. As I reach the first anniversary of this blogs' inception, it seems useful to reflect upon this. Firstly, let me reflect upon some of the reasons I started this blog. Christmas is a special time of the year. A time filled with parties, gifts and joy.
A joy that induces us to give generously to those we love and to those less fortunate than ourselves. A time, when we, whom are jaded or even fatalistic, are inclined to believe in miracles.This joy that exists today all started a long time ago with the birth of the baby called Emmanuel, meaning "God with us."
Biblical prophesy, beginning in Genesis, points to the momentous time when God would make right the devasting blow that Lucifer had dealt to humanity, when he was able to misdirect and destroy the special relationship that we had with God our Creator in the Garden of Eden.
The immense importance of a baby being born in the midst of the worst possible conditions point to the need in our life for that Savior as we face the worst possible conditions in our life. For, we have a Savior, a "lover of our soul" who has lived what we lived and felt what we felt. God has planned across time, and for all time, to reconcile ourselves to Himself through a personal touch from Jesus. For "unto us a child is born, a son is given."
So, the season of Christmas has immense importance as we begin to figure out the spiritual condition of our life. When I started this blog one year ago, I wondered what more that I could do in gratitude for the "gift of this child." Just as we sometimes lack gratitude for those other gifts given us on Christmas morn, had I stopped being appreciative for all that I had received when God gave this child to me?
There are so many circumstances in my life and in your life which hurt and discourage us. Our holiday season is less than we wish it to be. Our jobs are difficult, our children struggling. A loved one has passed away and our heart is broken. Divorced or lonely? This was not what was supposed to happen. How can I overcome this?
No, this was not what God's plan was. It was not supposed to happen this way. Yet a light shines over a little stable. A bright and unusual star points into a horrible place in a horrible time and beckons us to come and follow that star. Come to the little hovel where a baby is born which is to save man from his circumstance.
Last year, after much prayer and thought I knew that I must start this blog. I did it because I saw so much need for healing in my life, and in the lives of those around me. I started it, because like the Wise Men, I know that it was right to bring an offering to that manger because of this extraordinary event that we call "Christmas."
Go to that place, as the shepherds and Wise men did, and seek an audience with the King of all Kings and the Lord of all Lords. He is open and good, just like a new born babe. What a great gift! With newness of life there is always hope and possibility. Thank you God for the gift of this baby. It is the birth of renewal and redemption for each and every one of us.
A joy that induces us to give generously to those we love and to those less fortunate than ourselves. A time, when we, whom are jaded or even fatalistic, are inclined to believe in miracles.This joy that exists today all started a long time ago with the birth of the baby called Emmanuel, meaning "God with us."
Biblical prophesy, beginning in Genesis, points to the momentous time when God would make right the devasting blow that Lucifer had dealt to humanity, when he was able to misdirect and destroy the special relationship that we had with God our Creator in the Garden of Eden.
The immense importance of a baby being born in the midst of the worst possible conditions point to the need in our life for that Savior as we face the worst possible conditions in our life. For, we have a Savior, a "lover of our soul" who has lived what we lived and felt what we felt. God has planned across time, and for all time, to reconcile ourselves to Himself through a personal touch from Jesus. For "unto us a child is born, a son is given."
So, the season of Christmas has immense importance as we begin to figure out the spiritual condition of our life. When I started this blog one year ago, I wondered what more that I could do in gratitude for the "gift of this child." Just as we sometimes lack gratitude for those other gifts given us on Christmas morn, had I stopped being appreciative for all that I had received when God gave this child to me?
There are so many circumstances in my life and in your life which hurt and discourage us. Our holiday season is less than we wish it to be. Our jobs are difficult, our children struggling. A loved one has passed away and our heart is broken. Divorced or lonely? This was not what was supposed to happen. How can I overcome this?
No, this was not what God's plan was. It was not supposed to happen this way. Yet a light shines over a little stable. A bright and unusual star points into a horrible place in a horrible time and beckons us to come and follow that star. Come to the little hovel where a baby is born which is to save man from his circumstance.
Last year, after much prayer and thought I knew that I must start this blog. I did it because I saw so much need for healing in my life, and in the lives of those around me. I started it, because like the Wise Men, I know that it was right to bring an offering to that manger because of this extraordinary event that we call "Christmas."
Go to that place, as the shepherds and Wise men did, and seek an audience with the King of all Kings and the Lord of all Lords. He is open and good, just like a new born babe. What a great gift! With newness of life there is always hope and possibility. Thank you God for the gift of this baby. It is the birth of renewal and redemption for each and every one of us.
Friday, December 9, 2016
Entertainment Detox-Part 3
In Part 1 and 2 of my Entertainment Series, I challenged you to look at your viewing habits by taking a survey and thinking of some reasons you might be addicted to video games, television or the movies. In Part 3, I present a detox plan along with some biblical guidance for creating more meaning in your life.
Galatians 6:1a "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault"
In the above biblical passage we start out with the notion that someone is caught up in doing something he or she ought not to. The concept of being "overtaken in a fault," in verse one of Galatians is very evocative. We can almost see our sins chasing us down in a darkened alley and finally catching up with us, and then having their way with us. In effect, beating us to a pulp. It also evokes the feeling of something we were not expecting. Maybe we were playing around in a dangerous place and were surprised at the direction things took.
In our quest for wisdom concerning entertainment, this verse has much meaning. For all that our smartphones offer us, including helpful information such as, navigational assistance, medical advise and applications that can start dinner before we arrive home; we are often overtaken by the control it begins to effect in our lives. What do we do when this happens to us? What if the problem lies with our children, co-workers, or even a husband or wife?
The answer is : we must always be on guard lest the use of our devices gets out of balance with the rest of our life. We must also cope with the fallout in our families or offices. It has been my practice to go on an "entertainment fast" from time to time. The concept of a fast is well established in the Bible as a spiritual exercise with many benefits. Whole families and Churches can also benefit from this practice. FAST
Daniel 10:3 "I ate no pleasant bread, neither came flesh nor wine in my mouth, neither did I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled."
Now that you are taking a fast from entertainment you will have all sorts of time on your hands. You will also have to find other ways to accomplish the tasks that your phone has taken over for you. Use this time wisely. For instance, instead of instant messaging a friend or family member on social media, why not plan a visit instead? What about a party? Make sure to hug and kiss all the people that you are now interacting with. That is not something you can do while "skyping." HUG AND KISS
1 Corinthians 16:20 "All the brethren greet you. Greet ye one another with an holy kiss."
Learn something new. Maybe you could benefit from a financial lecture. An exercise class could help improve your health. What about a creative exploration? Is there an activity at your church that you have not availed yourself of? You can take a class in your community and meet people who have the same interest. Languages are best practiced with others. So, check out local opportunities (language club) to do this. LEARN NEW THINGS
Proverbs 1:5 "a wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels."
If you have been using your phone, television or the computing capability in your life to avoid dealing with some problems in your life, this electronic detox is bound to bring those issues to the surface. Resist the urge to surpress these feelings and instead make a decision to face whatever your issues are. Is your marriage in tatters? Is your family estranged. Unhappy on your job? Angry, depressed or anxious? DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT
Psalm 50:15 " and call upon Me in the day of trouble : I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me."
In our quest for wisdom concerning entertainment, this verse has much meaning. For all that our smartphones offer us, including helpful information such as, navigational assistance, medical advise and applications that can start dinner before we arrive home; we are often overtaken by the control it begins to effect in our lives. What do we do when this happens to us? What if the problem lies with our children, co-workers, or even a husband or wife?
The answer is : we must always be on guard lest the use of our devices gets out of balance with the rest of our life. We must also cope with the fallout in our families or offices. It has been my practice to go on an "entertainment fast" from time to time. The concept of a fast is well established in the Bible as a spiritual exercise with many benefits. Whole families and Churches can also benefit from this practice. FAST
Daniel 10:3 "I ate no pleasant bread, neither came flesh nor wine in my mouth, neither did I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled."
Now that you are taking a fast from entertainment you will have all sorts of time on your hands. You will also have to find other ways to accomplish the tasks that your phone has taken over for you. Use this time wisely. For instance, instead of instant messaging a friend or family member on social media, why not plan a visit instead? What about a party? Make sure to hug and kiss all the people that you are now interacting with. That is not something you can do while "skyping." HUG AND KISS
1 Corinthians 16:20 "All the brethren greet you. Greet ye one another with an holy kiss."
Learn something new. Maybe you could benefit from a financial lecture. An exercise class could help improve your health. What about a creative exploration? Is there an activity at your church that you have not availed yourself of? You can take a class in your community and meet people who have the same interest. Languages are best practiced with others. So, check out local opportunities (language club) to do this. LEARN NEW THINGS
Proverbs 1:5 "a wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels."
If you have been using your phone, television or the computing capability in your life to avoid dealing with some problems in your life, this electronic detox is bound to bring those issues to the surface. Resist the urge to surpress these feelings and instead make a decision to face whatever your issues are. Is your marriage in tatters? Is your family estranged. Unhappy on your job? Angry, depressed or anxious? DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT
Psalm 50:15 " and call upon Me in the day of trouble : I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me."
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Entertainment As Avoidance - Part 2
What are your television, video game and movie preferences? What genres of entertainment do you enjoy most? How many hours per week do you spend enjoying this entertainment? These are important questions to ask yourself from time to time. The answers to these questions indicate a lot about where you are in your life. Let's look at some of the effects of entertainment in people's lives.
Sydney* was the valedictorian of her high school graduating class. This is an amazing feat considering all the obstacles she had to overcome, such as poverty and the loss of her mother at a young age. She went on to become a New York City school teacher. That was a long time ago. Since then, she was diagnosed with a chronic disease forcing her into retirement in her thirties. She now sits in her upper east side Manhattan apartment living for Facebook and watching hour upon hour of mindless television. She usually watches true crime programs which encourage the type of paranoid thinking that those alone too much tend to gravitate towards. She is mistrustful of everyone she meets, and imagines the worst of people like they are going to steal, rape or murder her.
Shannon* went through a lot of pain and suffering during her recent divorce. Divorce is such a deep hurt. A hurt that makes us feel unloved and insecure. Overnight, her life changed from being a wife, mother and homeowner (with all the related responsibilities) to a single, part-time mother and apartment dweller. She did not seem to be able to face or focus on all the work necessary to prepare for that divorce, either legally or emotionally. Instead, she seemed to spend an inordinate amount of time on social media. Social media became a type of savior for her. Through thinly veiled comments, she was able to vent all her anger at her soon to be ex-husband. She thought herself self-important as she posted quotes of the day and she got the male attention she so craved after the crushing defeat of having her husband take up with a woman ten years her junior. On the flip side, Shannon was not getting any insight into her problems or issues. She was avoiding the hard work of self-reflections which ultimately leads to an amended life. I also believe she did not do all she could have to fight for the best divorce agreement possible, including parental custody issues.
Jackson* was a television and movie aficionado. To hear him tell it, he was very proud of the extreme knowledge that he had of the history of television and movies. He also enjoyed video games. After work, he loved nothing better than to sit in front of a screen and put on the game, some old movie or compete in a video game competition. He would become so obsessed at times that it looked to me like he was "in love" with some new video game or television series. His eyes seemed to grow larger, his energy would increase and he seemed to stand up taller. But, Jackson had a whole lot of problems that he should have been paying closer attention to. So did Sydney and so did Shannon.
Who among us has not gotten lost in a movie or our electronic devices to help us get over a loss or a break-up? The problem is that we seemed to have gotten to the point where we have overdone it. And, in doing so, we have used the entertainment in our life as an avoidance technique. What are we avoiding? The short answer to that is : the pain. Let's go back to our friends, Sydney, Shannon and Jackson. All three of them struggled with some depression, anxiety and loneliness. All three of them had problems with a sibling, child or parent that needed fixing.
Sydney has nothing to do all day. Forced into an early retirement by her illness, she has yet to find new meaning in her life. An intelligent women who has way to much time on her hands is either a great thing or a dangerous thing. In Sydney's case it is the latter. Everyone her age has a busy life and career. So, desperate for some social interaction, she interacts on social media and waits for a response. Or, she buys things that she doesn't need on the shopping networks because the adrenaline rush of that at least makes her feel like she is alive.
Shannon is not as strong as she thinks. She is not as wise as she thinks. Things are not going as well as she thinks, and no one, including her mother, can tell her otherwise. She just won't listen. The friends that she has around her, since her divorce, are just there to party with and tell her what she wants to hear. Not to mention the bubble of social media cushioning and condoning everything she does. But bubbles have a predictable way of popping.
Jackson had a brother and sister who were cold and distant. They wouldn't know if he was dead or alive because they never pick up the phone to call. Their family get-togethers seem devoid of genuine love and affection, nobody really gets along. It is all very superficial. This has been going on for a long time but does Jackson try to address the problem? No, his family taught him a long time ago to shut-up because no one was listening! So Jackson found solace during Thanksgiving in the game. Can you blame him?
The things we do with our free time indicate our emotional and spiritual well-being. Do we have to have noise all the time? What are we afraid of? What does the noise drown out? What does the entertainment in our life help us avoid? The noise can even drown out the Holy Spirit seeking to guide and direct us. The Bible tells us to "be still and know that I am the Lord." There is a certain reflection that comes about when we are in a quiet environment. Thoughts and truths can come thru which often lead us to face the real issues in our lives. Galatians 6:4 tells us that, "Each one should test their own actions." From Genesis to Revelation the Bible teaches us to reflect upon our behavior. There is no Biblical support for living the superficial existence. Don't be afraid because God can help you to face difficult things and even help you to find new meaning in your life. So, take some time this week, to ask yourself this important question : Is entertainment avoidance for you? God bless you!
Next week : Entertainment Detox - Part Three
* the names and some details are changed because Westchester County is not that big.
Sydney* was the valedictorian of her high school graduating class. This is an amazing feat considering all the obstacles she had to overcome, such as poverty and the loss of her mother at a young age. She went on to become a New York City school teacher. That was a long time ago. Since then, she was diagnosed with a chronic disease forcing her into retirement in her thirties. She now sits in her upper east side Manhattan apartment living for Facebook and watching hour upon hour of mindless television. She usually watches true crime programs which encourage the type of paranoid thinking that those alone too much tend to gravitate towards. She is mistrustful of everyone she meets, and imagines the worst of people like they are going to steal, rape or murder her.
Shannon* went through a lot of pain and suffering during her recent divorce. Divorce is such a deep hurt. A hurt that makes us feel unloved and insecure. Overnight, her life changed from being a wife, mother and homeowner (with all the related responsibilities) to a single, part-time mother and apartment dweller. She did not seem to be able to face or focus on all the work necessary to prepare for that divorce, either legally or emotionally. Instead, she seemed to spend an inordinate amount of time on social media. Social media became a type of savior for her. Through thinly veiled comments, she was able to vent all her anger at her soon to be ex-husband. She thought herself self-important as she posted quotes of the day and she got the male attention she so craved after the crushing defeat of having her husband take up with a woman ten years her junior. On the flip side, Shannon was not getting any insight into her problems or issues. She was avoiding the hard work of self-reflections which ultimately leads to an amended life. I also believe she did not do all she could have to fight for the best divorce agreement possible, including parental custody issues.
Jackson* was a television and movie aficionado. To hear him tell it, he was very proud of the extreme knowledge that he had of the history of television and movies. He also enjoyed video games. After work, he loved nothing better than to sit in front of a screen and put on the game, some old movie or compete in a video game competition. He would become so obsessed at times that it looked to me like he was "in love" with some new video game or television series. His eyes seemed to grow larger, his energy would increase and he seemed to stand up taller. But, Jackson had a whole lot of problems that he should have been paying closer attention to. So did Sydney and so did Shannon.
Who among us has not gotten lost in a movie or our electronic devices to help us get over a loss or a break-up? The problem is that we seemed to have gotten to the point where we have overdone it. And, in doing so, we have used the entertainment in our life as an avoidance technique. What are we avoiding? The short answer to that is : the pain. Let's go back to our friends, Sydney, Shannon and Jackson. All three of them struggled with some depression, anxiety and loneliness. All three of them had problems with a sibling, child or parent that needed fixing.
Sydney has nothing to do all day. Forced into an early retirement by her illness, she has yet to find new meaning in her life. An intelligent women who has way to much time on her hands is either a great thing or a dangerous thing. In Sydney's case it is the latter. Everyone her age has a busy life and career. So, desperate for some social interaction, she interacts on social media and waits for a response. Or, she buys things that she doesn't need on the shopping networks because the adrenaline rush of that at least makes her feel like she is alive.
Shannon is not as strong as she thinks. She is not as wise as she thinks. Things are not going as well as she thinks, and no one, including her mother, can tell her otherwise. She just won't listen. The friends that she has around her, since her divorce, are just there to party with and tell her what she wants to hear. Not to mention the bubble of social media cushioning and condoning everything she does. But bubbles have a predictable way of popping.
Jackson had a brother and sister who were cold and distant. They wouldn't know if he was dead or alive because they never pick up the phone to call. Their family get-togethers seem devoid of genuine love and affection, nobody really gets along. It is all very superficial. This has been going on for a long time but does Jackson try to address the problem? No, his family taught him a long time ago to shut-up because no one was listening! So Jackson found solace during Thanksgiving in the game. Can you blame him?
The things we do with our free time indicate our emotional and spiritual well-being. Do we have to have noise all the time? What are we afraid of? What does the noise drown out? What does the entertainment in our life help us avoid? The noise can even drown out the Holy Spirit seeking to guide and direct us. The Bible tells us to "be still and know that I am the Lord." There is a certain reflection that comes about when we are in a quiet environment. Thoughts and truths can come thru which often lead us to face the real issues in our lives. Galatians 6:4 tells us that, "Each one should test their own actions." From Genesis to Revelation the Bible teaches us to reflect upon our behavior. There is no Biblical support for living the superficial existence. Don't be afraid because God can help you to face difficult things and even help you to find new meaning in your life. So, take some time this week, to ask yourself this important question : Is entertainment avoidance for you? God bless you!
Next week : Entertainment Detox - Part Three
* the names and some details are changed because Westchester County is not that big.
Thursday, November 17, 2016
Your Movie or Television Show Survey - Part 1
INSTRUCTIONS : watch a favorite show or movie and answer the following questions. **
1. How does this movie or show depict parent/child relationships? Compare and contrast those depictions with the biblical mandate to "Honor your father and mother."
2. Are friendship or family relations in this movie or show presented in a godly manner or a worldly manner?
3. Find an example of a godly dialogue and an ungodly dialogue in this program?
4. How are men and women dressed in this movie or show? Find one verse in the Bible used to describe godly male or female attire.
5. What is presented in the show as wisdom (or) shown to be a philosophy used in problem solving by the characters? Can you find a scripture to back that philosophy up or to refute it?
6. How do boys and girls, or men and women treat each other either in a dating or a marriage setting? How does the Bible agree or disagree with that?
7. What are the jokes about in your film or show? Is the joke making fun of people? Does it uplift or humiliate?
8. What are some of the feelings that this film or show bring out in you?
9. How would you summarize the message of this piece of entertainment?
10. On a godliness scale of one to five, one being the worst and five being the best, how would you rate this show?
**Parents : use this as a tool to rate the effect your child's viewing habit may have upon them.
NEXT WEEK : Entertainment As Avoidance-Part 2
1. How does this movie or show depict parent/child relationships? Compare and contrast those depictions with the biblical mandate to "Honor your father and mother."
2. Are friendship or family relations in this movie or show presented in a godly manner or a worldly manner?
3. Find an example of a godly dialogue and an ungodly dialogue in this program?
4. How are men and women dressed in this movie or show? Find one verse in the Bible used to describe godly male or female attire.
5. What is presented in the show as wisdom (or) shown to be a philosophy used in problem solving by the characters? Can you find a scripture to back that philosophy up or to refute it?
6. How do boys and girls, or men and women treat each other either in a dating or a marriage setting? How does the Bible agree or disagree with that?
7. What are the jokes about in your film or show? Is the joke making fun of people? Does it uplift or humiliate?
8. What are some of the feelings that this film or show bring out in you?
9. How would you summarize the message of this piece of entertainment?
10. On a godliness scale of one to five, one being the worst and five being the best, how would you rate this show?
**Parents : use this as a tool to rate the effect your child's viewing habit may have upon them.
NEXT WEEK : Entertainment As Avoidance-Part 2
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