Process

Now that my husband and I finally agree about moving, what is the Process by which we can make this change happen? How did Abraham do it in the Bible? I made a note to reread the story of Abraham’s journey out of Ur. I have a feeling Ur was a little like Westchester County, New York. As I began to seriously contemplate moving out of a house that I had lived in a very long time there were a lot of things to do.

First and foremost, I wanted to make sure that I was going to make this move as a godly Christian woman ought to. That means that prayer was essential and sincerely seeking God’s path out of this place the goal. Honesty, patience, and other Christian virtues need to predominate my Process. 

I have seen many a sensible friend become absolutely unhinged in the process of buying or selling their home. Their emotions were up and down with every new development in their real estate process. They spent huge amounts of time angry and stressed out. Angry with their real estate agent, the prospective buyer or even about the weather. I know that the best way to avoid this is by keeping God central to the Process. Didn’t Abraham? 

But would we seriously move out of Westchester County without considering an inter-county move first? The reason that I say that is because we love our church very much. We love our Pastor, and the stalwart group of christian soldiers that make up that group of remnant believers. There are many special people there that I would pack and take along with me if I could.

So, we started to look for homes that were in close proximity to our church. Since our church is located further away from New York City than our current house, we were hoping that the house prices would reflect that. But, all the normal rules of Westchester County real estate have changed since Wuhan took Manhattan.      

Throngs of people desperate to escape the virus and its’ aftermath left the island of Manhattan and its’ neighbor Brooklyn and made a beeline straight for Westchester County and its’ environs. The market was hot, hot, hot. Prices soared amid this panic. There were a number of cases of people who bought houses sight unseen after a video tour of the house. 

Lines of socially distant people cued up for homes that were on the market. With their masks, hand-sanitizers and bank letters in hand they were ready for business. As a result, many bidding wars ensued making for insane money being spent on mere hovels on busy streets. It instantly became a sellers market and people who thought they would never unload their distressed properties suddenly found that they were in the money. Fortunes were being made for retirees who had not saved a dime and felt rewarded for this bad behavior.

I poured out my heart to God everyday in prayer as we started our relocation process. I told our Heavenly Father that I wanted the plans that he had for us. I wanted the place that He wanted for us. And, I wanted to acknowledge Him continually as we went on this journey. I was afraid of change but, I wanted to be more like Abraham. Now the Lord had said to Abram: “Get out of your country, from your family and from your father’s house, to a land that I will show you- Genesis 12:1.

I remember the thoughts that I have had over the years, as I examined Abraham’s story. I wondered how someone could have the kind of faith that would allow them to leave everything that they knew and go to a destination that they did not yet know. Did I have that kind of faith? How do we make godly decisions as we look for a new home? 

We became acquainted with the various real estate portals. I would identify various properties that I liked or that I thought that my husband would like. We would then discuss the pros and cons of each property. This clarified what things we were both looking for and culminated in our property wish list.      

During this time of house hunting,, many changes were occurring in the State of New York. The talk of tax increases were constant. The philosophy behind increasing taxes in one of the most taxed counties in the United States seemed punitive. Punitive towards those who had worked hard, saved money and bought homes. It seemed hostile to those who had worked and struggled to build this county and make it thrive. 

But, the tide had turned and people in this county now endorsed this Marxist personal property downgrade. As a result, houses in my county are over-priced, with a hefty and ever-growing tax bill. That does not even include the increased regulations on every facet of owning a Westchester home that result in constant permit payments and inspections for the most ridiculous things.  

Then, there is the spiritual element. Westchester County, is now Manhattan north. The encroaching Babylon has made life very difficult for believers in this County. I have seen more and more people hostile to the things of God then ever before.This is mission territory. However, since the events of the pandemic have unfolded, a hard-heartedness seems to have overtaken the area. 

When the people of Westchester County were faced with their own mortality they became like a pack of rats. It was and still is not pretty. Our Lord taught us, that we would know people by the fruit they produced in their life. With that standard in mind, it is pretty clear that Christian values are dead here. Is that what Ur was like when Abraham left it?  I have often wondered. After leaving Ur, Abraham camped outside of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. He somehow managed to escape the evil vortex that entrapped his nephew Lot and his family by keeping close to God and far away from sin. 

In the process of our life, we will often have to step out in faith. But, what is the source of our faith? Is it ourselves alone, popular opinion or is it the Lord, God Almighty? For Abraham, with all the ups and downs, twists and turns of his life, he trusted in the Lord. After he left his home in Ur, Abraham lived in a tent for the rest of his life. When we ask God to bless us in whatever process we happen to be in, we can be certain that God will be with us. We can not be certain that everything will turn out the way that we thought it would, or wished it would. If we trust in God, everything will fall into place no doubt the way it really should.

Change

Blogging about trying to live the Christian life in Westchester County, New York has been cathartic for me. Along with prayer, bible study and fellowship it has allowed me to navigate the tough road of being a Christian in this post-Christian environment. As I chronicled the behaviors and the practices of this anti-Christian bastion of New York State it helped me gain perspective on how to live the Christian life, including trying to reach the lost for Jesus.

Sometimes you have to see the alternative before you understand how good that God really is. New York is a type of Sodom and Gomorrah if not a full-blown recreation of it. Mankind from age to age continually builds and rebuilds the institutions that represent good and evil. These institutions no doubt represent the battle between God and Satan. 

I love the way all along the Bible tells you the epic story of good vs. evil and how we fit into it. God tells us the truth of this life and he shows us a way toward being saved from it. On the spiritual and non-visible level we know that God had a plan from the beginning to vanquish evil (Genesis 3:15-And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel). On the purely physical level we know from a young age that we have freedom to choose a good or a bad action. Our family, community, and nations reflect those chooses.

I know how Noah felt as he built his boat. He saw the evil increase and amid this he was trying to build a safe haven for the things of God. I also think he longed to escape from all the evil around him. There came a time when God told him that it was time to get into that boat and be saved. Noah may not have understood everything going on as he tried to follow God’s will but, as time went on, things became clear. 

It is a funny thing when you see biblical truths unfolding in your own life. I can scarcely believe how the Bible stories have been my story over and over again. Why should I be surprised? Wasn’t it King Solomon, the wise king who said that there is nothing new under the sun? We think or would like to think that our life is so unique. Yet, we live in the sea of humanity where situations continually repeat themselves. 

I find my time in Westchester County readily explainable by comparisons with the story of Lot, or the story of Noah. Because, in those stories we see believer’s lives intruded upon by the deep and scarlet stain of sin which only Jesus can clean. What was it that attracted Lot and his family to the places of Sodom and Gomorrah. His wife could not help but look back. Perhaps, even though it was full of evil goings-on it also had the best food, entertainment and amenities. 

For me, I was searching for the best school systems and quality of life for my family. I thought the best SAT scores and Ivy League admissions rates were worth my move to Westchester. Little did I see what was coming. A school system that would utterly reject as evil the Judeo-Christian ethic and instead turn its’ students into walking/talking Marxist agitators. I found myself fighting battles that were continually going against me. It was clear that people utterly rejected God and had knowingly put other things on the throne that goes to our God. 

Yes, Westchester County was a close commute to New York City making it close to work locations and cultural amenities. I thought New York was the center of the universe until I made Jesus the center of my universe. The attitude that I have ran into in Westchester County is of a people proud of rejecting the institutions and moral values of all that is holy. There is an arrogance that comes along with this attitude. “Then answered all the people, and said, His blood be on us, and on our children”-Matthew 27:25.

After a lifetime of living in New York, I have had enough. Every time that I traveled  to locations with a higher concentration of believers I would ask God if I should move to that location. I always felt that the answer was no. I fervently believed and still do that God had called me to spread the gospel on a daily basis in New York. Yet, as the events of the past year unfolded, I felt that God had finally called me out of this environment. My husband had finally seen this same vision of change and we began to think and contemplate a move. Where would it be? Also, we are not exactly the adventurous types, so stay tuned. 

Listening

Do you listen to people? Do you feel people listen to you? Listening is one of the hallmarks of a healthy relationship. It is part of the communication process and the Bible has quite a lot of things to say about it.

The idea for this blog post came about as most of them usually do, from my experiential observations during the past week. What I seemed to keep running into recently was a lack of people being able to listen to what others had to say. I found myself wondering what it was all about. 

One such story regarded a certain young lady who is contemplating leaving her job. She is an IT specialist who is at the end of her rope dealing with insensitive coworkers. It seems that frustration abounds in the field of IT. Programmers and computer support staff often complaint of the unrealistic expectations and lack of communication skills that they face every day. 

The users, whether they be a business concern, academic institution or government agency, are more interested in dictating their demands to computer support staff rather than listening to any input that the computer specialist may have to offer. How interesting, a whole career field where not being listened to is the standard. This is widely known and widely accepted. 

Then there is Emmanuelle*. Emmanuelle is feeling that her husband just does not listen. Strangely enough Marco*her husband feels as if she is the one who is not listening. Just who is telling the truth? They are in a difficult situation since her mother had to move in with the couple. This new circumstance has again shown how they are not a team whenever they have a crisis.

Watching those two talk at each other and not listening has become a sport for me. My neck cranes to and fro as if I am viewing a tennis match. Either that or, it is like when I find myself slowing down when there is a police action on the side of the road. I am not sure which one it is. 

All I can say is that it is mesmerizing. 🎶Everyone keeps talking at me, I don’t hear a word they say, only the echo of my mind 🎶. That is not a bible verse. It is however, a verse from a 1969 American song which won a Grammy award, entitled Everybody’s talkin. It perfectly encapsulates many of the communications that I witnessed recently.

I also had my own personal experience of people not listening. I recently was invited to a soirée in Westchester County, New York. I was introduced to several new people that evening. A strange thing happened to me at the event. Every single person that I met spent their time with me just talking about themselves. After they heard my name, that was enough about me. They proceeded to use their time with me to make sure that I got to know them a lot better.

Did you hear that, make sure that I got to know them better. I pretty quickly learned everything including one person had a pilots license and was formerly a secret service agent. Another person, was fluent in ten languages including Urdu. How interesting, I exclaimed. I can see that saying just the one thing that I was able to interject into his monologue annoyed him. However, clearly he was able to forgive me because I pointed out how interesting he was. Plus, I didn’t prattle on about my own silly life.

In the not so distant past, manners were serious business. People looked carefully at things such as conversational skills as indicative of moral character. Etiquette, the art of manners, was even taught in all the best schools. But, that is all gone and what has replaced it is a sort of every man for himself  conversational philosophy

Every cultures’ set of manners emanate from what their belief system is. Today’s manners are no different. The philosophy behind the manners of today is narcissism, that is the worship of self. This is the opposite of what it means to be a Christian. 

The people and stories I encountered served to illustrate how people are unable to interact with others well. People are too wrapped up in their own life. They are living for themselves. Other people only come into play as a tool to make them feel good or not feel good. Mostly, other people get in the way. People are very busy starring in their own show. Does that surprise you? The selfie culture exemplifies this principle. As does the phony facades that people posit on social media. If you believe all of that, I have some New York bridges fo sell you!

The Bible leads us towards the art of listening. It begins with listening to God’s message. Psalm 46 verse 10 says, Be still and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. Listening requires quieting our hearts and our minds. This allows us to focus. Trying to multi-task? This will not help you to grow close to God or to people. Focusing on too many things is frequently not fully focusing on any of them. 

Why we should listen more:

Listen to learn. Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance-Proverbs 1:5. 

Listening is serving. Part of the Christian walk concerns serving others. Sometimes, people just need some one to listen. Just listening to someone is a wonderful way to serve them and to show that you care. Don’t we all need that sometime? Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ-Galatians 6:2. Listening is one way to carry someone’s burden and to fulfill the law of Jesus Christ.

Listening is part of the signs of a mature believer in Christ. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath- James 1:19. Many problems in the family, in the office or at school could be averted if one merely followed this advice from the book of James. 

Listening averts disaster. But whoever listens to me will dwell secure and will be at ease, without dread of disaster- Proverbs 1:33. In this case I think the inference is that we don’t just listen to godly wisdom but, that we actually chose to obey God as well. You may have heard the expression, look before you leap. I think it should be: look at GOD before you leap! 

Listening is the opposite of narcissism. A fool takes not pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion-Proverbs 18:2. If one bible verse summarizes my observation this week it is this one. People are so full of themselves that they really don’t seek to have a broader understanding of their job, their life or their relationships. The Bible calls that being foolish. 

* the names are changed to protect privacy.

A Little Monkey Business

I was friends with Trayvon’s* mother. She was one of the best friends that I ever had. No one understood me the way she did. She and I shared the stories of our lives. I trusted her with some of the more painful chapters of my life and she did the same with me. We found common ground, and healing together. I felt loved and accepted by her.

Everyone loved Georgia* and grieved her untimely death due to breast cancer. Her mother’s heart implored me and others to look out for her son Trayvon after she was gone. She was very concerned that Trayvon’s lifestyle would lead him towards a diagnosis of diabetes. Many in her family were afflicted with this ailment.

It was her dying wish that I help encourage him to stay healthy. It was because of this that I got to know Trayvon better over the years. Trayvon had inherited many of his mother’s good qualities. He is sunny and sociable. A real people person. He loves his friends deeply and always goes the extra mile for them, just as his mother had. He has a heart of gold!

Then there is that other side of him. Just like his mother Georgia, Trayvon is street smart. But, sometimes just like his mother, that street smart crosses the line into street life. Trayvon has been working from home since the virus hit New York. He works for a large medical facility in New York City. Recently, he learned that he would be required to go back to the in-person work environment this fall. 

He is not happy about this news at all. I wasn’t sure why though. So, on a recent telephone call I explored that question with him. He told me that he really liked working from home. He felt that working from home had not hindered or compromised his ability to perform his job one bit. Was he saving money? Of course he was.Taking the subway from the Bronx to midtown Manhattan and paying for those high priced Manhattan lunches are a killer. Plus, it had been awesome not having to see his boss everyday who, he has a long-standing feud with.

But, this Westchester Christian Housewife had to delve a little bit further. Trayvon, I asked, do you feel safe from the virus and the crime as you contemplate a return to work? Having moonlighted over the years as a club bouncer, he quickly took umbrage at my suggestion that he might not be able to handle himself in the current lawlessness that has overtaken the city.

Further, I wanted to expose the deep spiritual underpinnings of the current dilemmas now gripping the planet. Just where was Trayvon spiritually, physically and emotionally after a year of virus management? Where are we? 

As I probed to get a deeper understanding of just what Trayvon’s current mindset was, I discovered A Little Monkey Business going on. Trayvon let me know that he was fully vaccinated and had just come back from a trip to Virginia. He had sadly lost a friend to the Wuhan virus and had commuted by plane to attend his funeral.

Feeling heady after getting his jab, even got him to thinking that he wanted to catch that huge post-pandemic box office hit, A Quite Place Part 2 in theaters now. Hey Trayvon, said I, are you ready to return  to a movie theater to catch that flick or would you prefer to wait for it to be available for at-home viewing? No, Trayvon said, I think that I am ready to go out to a theater.

Well, why aren’t you ready to go back to the office then? Rather than answer my question he told me that he had made an appointment with a therapist. He is planning to tell the doctor that he is depressed because of all that has happened and that he is not yet ready to go back to work. Well, are you depressed Trayvon? Trayvon was not interested in answering any of my questions directly but, rather disposed to beating around the bush.

He just keep repeating that, he didn’t want to go back to work. Do you think that you can convince the therapist that you are not mentally able to go back to work Trayvon? I don’t know but I will try, was his reply. I wondered if Trayvon was playing with fire. Mightn’t there be some unintended consequences to his actions? What if he gets fired from his job? What if the doctor wants to put him on psychiatric medicine? What if he gets labeled mentally unstable? What if the Bible is true when it tells us not to lie?

He seemed to think that the end justifies the means. Meaning that because he liked working from home if he could do A Little Monkey Businesses to make that happen then it was worth it. I learned that if the hustle lasted six months or a year, it would be worth it to him. Maybe, it could last even longer, and that would be even better. 

But, what about the truth? When faced with a difficult situation, Pontius Pilate the Roman official who held Jesus’s earthly existence in his hands, questioned the meaning of truth. It was during his tenure as the Roman prelate of Judaea that he was asked to decide the fate of Jesus as he went on trial for sedition. He wanted a political solution that would placate the Jewish leaders and not upset the administration in Rome. 

When Jesus indicated that He had come to testify to the truth. Pilate was not interested in it. He was only interested in what would work for him. He showed himself to be morally relativistic. In this way of thinking a person can just shift their beliefs to suit the situation. The Trayvon that I know has a high level of moral integrity. 

I have seen him serve until it hurt him. I know that he has always worked hard for a living, often working two jobs in order to make ends meet. But, every once in a while, it seems like something else takes over. It might be that he is in and out of Christianity. Here one minute and gone the next. 

His mother Georgia was a church going Baptist. His sister is a born again Christian. Trayvon has mixed feelings. He was off when his born again sister treated him badly. He was on when he recently dated a believer. Maybe his ethics reflect that. Whatever the reason may be I found myself in a ticklish situation when he spoke to me about trying to manufacture an excuse to circumvent going back to his office. 

* the names are changed to protect identities.

Next Stage of the Covid Wars

It seems like Covid has polarized the world. The two warring parties are the vaccinated and the unvaccinated. I see it everywhere. At church for instance, Lydia* who is vaccinated, told me she doesn’t want to sit next to her friend of thirty years Mindy* because “she hasn’t been vaccinated and I don’t want to die!” Where do I begin to comment on that statement? 

I was quite disgusted with the hysteria and lack of scientific credibility in that statement, as well as the lack of love. Not to mention the fact that Christians used to be taught to not fear what can happen to the body but only to the soul. Lydia* also mentioned she is not happy that this unvaccinated women has the nerve to explore the topic of vaccine safety on her facebook page. It seems all conversations that question anything about this vaccine are shut down these days by appealing to peoples fear of death or, they shut down inquiries by saying that you are selfish, stupid or uncaring for bringing that topic up. 

Real science has died. The kind of science that created all the great developments and foundational principles that we are heirs of today. We are now witnessing the Dr. Frankenstein school of medicine. We are creating a monster. And, just like Dr. Frankenstein had to deal with a nasty outcome, so will we. What a visionary Mary Shelley was.

Real science never ceases to ask questions. Real science is question, hypothesis and experimentation. It is making sure that every study has been done in an accurate, precise, statistically significant and unbiased way. Confirming a study, challenging each new premise and exploring its’ consequences. That is real science. Real science does not shut down debate nor force its’ will upon the innocent. It is certainly not using the worlds population as guinea pigs by convincing them that if they don’t do this that they will die. I thought we had laws to protect people against that?

What is it with all this fear and manipulation? The fear of loosing one’s life is always an excuse for anything that is done in New York these days. Even if that fear is irrational. No one cares about the truth anymore. Why should they? Philosophically our world no longer believes in any objective truth. In truths’ place we have situational and very sketchy ethics. We have the deconstruction of the Jude-Christian system. This is all leading to the chaos that you see around you. Our world is convulsing as it changes from righteous to unrighteousness. It will be a brave new world that the elitist Dr. Frankensteins have envisioned and are implementing, not the world that God envisioned. It is very important to keep that in mind.

During the beginning of the lockdown the behaviors that I saw over here in Westchester County, New York were shocking. It showed me what actually dwelt beneath the thin veneer of civilization that existed here. What I saw was ugly, narcissistic and pagan. I feel like my innocence has been lost. I really wish I could unsee what I have seen, but I can’t.

This week my church is having a meeting to determine if mask use should continue. Many churches including the Brooklyn Catholic Church have decided to create a church of masked and unmasked people in its’ pews. Those who are vaccinated can take off their mask but, those who have not received the mark, I mean vaccine, must continue to wear masks and sit in their very own special section of church. If this seems to smack of something demonic that is because it is. While the vaccine itself is not the mark of the beast, the system being implemented in our world is leading to that conclusion.

How will the churches determine if people are vaccinated? Are churches now going to be in the business of keeping tract of people’s vaccination records? Will they go by the honor system? Will it begin to create a discord between the community of believers? Is health privacy at its’ end? The answer to all of the above is yes.  

I live in a state that has instituted an immunity passport. It is called the excelsior pass. This pass will ensure that you have proof of a vaccine or of a negative test. Privileges are linked to this. It will surely create a first and second class status. All this points to a loss of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, but nobody seems to care.. 

Although the United States federal government has said it won’t mandate the vaccine passport it is as clear as day that they are doing it just the same through a business/government partnership. Business/government partnership? What does that sound like to you? To me, it sounds like the former Soviet Union. To me, it is the Chinese social credit score. Are you familiar with the Chinese social credit system? Let me sum it up by saying it is totalitarian dictatorship for the 21st century. 

At the beginning of this crisis, I spoke of the virus being manufactured as a bio weapon. The media got into a frenzy at the suggestion of that back then. Now Dr. Fauci or should I call him Dr. Mengele, thinks that theory should be explored, hum. You figured that out did you Dr. Fauci?

The Next Stage of the Covid Wars is catapulting our world into a different place. The worst part is how easily everyone is falling into the trap. People are willing to give everything up in order to be saved from the scourge of this virus. They don’t care that the technology is unproven. Yes, that is what it means when something is new and has been approved for emergency use only. I am sure that the powers that be will ram through a more satisfactory approval rating very soon. But, no matter what they do, questions will remain. Why has no vaccine for the AIDS virus between created even after so much money was spent to do just that? What is this new mRNA technology? Is it safe? What are the long-term consequences?Why has the general belief that vaccines were ineffective against viruses changed so dramatically? 

Our world is deciding that you can not travel, go to school, or live life normally if you do not get this vaccine. That is scary. We should all take a step back to think about it. Do you want to be a part of this?  A lot of things that I am seeing just wouldn't make sense unless I had read the Bible from beginning to end. 

This virus is like a game of strategy. I feel like I am in the chess game of my life, my eternal life. Have you looked at all the angles or beneath the surface of all that is being said and done? Unless we all do that there is no hope to stand against the tyranny descending upon us. Are the statistics and findings valid? Not when you look deeper. Don’t just accept statistics, question them. The statistics must be scrutinized and checked for falsification, and for bias. That is what you learn in statistics 101. Are the medical decisions and societal changes really saving lives or destroying them? Have you read the books of prophecy or have you minimized their importance?

Remember that if prophecy isn’t one hundred per cent true than the Bible is a lie. But, it isn’t. All the prophecies have been fulfilled or will be fulfilled. This is God’s message to us. It is not some sort of metaphor or myth. When I first started writing my little blog, I thought I would just write about playground jealousies, workplace or marital strife. Little did I realize what was down the pike. How life-changing events were just around the corner. Is that how the prophets felt? They all saw things how they really were not the way we wished that things would turn out. The most important thing that we must decide today is who or what it is that guides our life. In this epic battle of life there are sides and we all must choose. Stay close to Jesus and his holy word the Bible. 

* the names are changed but the stories are real. 

Seeds planted in La Belgique

What are the long-term consequences of an affair? For Huguette and Robert that has included a lifetime of ups and downs. Up with the thrill of their sexual liaisons and down every holiday and during Covid-19. 

I first met Robert at the small hotel that he manages in southern Belgium, I enjoyed speaking to him every night when he served dinner, partially because he really seemed to understand my French. 

I certainly had a great time in the art of conversation on that trip. My mother and I would regale poor Robert almost every evening about all our daily activities yet he was always cordial and disposed to making insightful commentary on everything we discussed.

Every evening patrons of the cafe brought up some topic loudly and soon each individual table would be having their own mini discussions on the topic de jour. One night, the topic turned to marriage. It started with a joke, we all have heard. But it turned quite serious when Robert commented to my mother and myself that he was quite familiar with the problems of marriage because he was married for fifteen years and with his mistress close to the same duration. I was startled when Robert made this major reveal. He told two complete strangers that he has been with his mistress as long as he has been with his wife. In other words, he was a Prince Charles type. 

Prince Charles of England, the guy who married Princess Diana and all the while retained his relationship with Camilla Parker-Bowles. A lot of people believe that this will preclude Prince Charles from ever ascending to the throne currently occupied by his mother Queen Elizabeth. We know the Bible’s position is clear concerning leadership in the church. We know that even to be a deacon, a man must be “the sober husband of just one wife.” So, we have learned by this verse that by the time the New Testament rolls around the concept of a single spouse is paramount but, not so in the Old Testament.

The Old Testament depicts a period where polyagamy, the having of many wives, was sanctioned. Yet within that system it is clear that having sex with someone constituted a marriage. The story of Jacob, Leah and Rachel expresses this concept. So, how does this make you look at your life today? What if you were de facto married to every person that you had sex with? What if the sex act constituted the beginning of a family? We ought to think of that because by divorcing sex from family life we have created a mess in this world. 

Let’s go back to Robert and Huguette. Huguette knows that Robert is married and Robert’s wife knows that he has been having a long-term affair. It has always been all out in the open. Robert felt a certain pride in that. He felt quite civilized in the way that he managed his affairs. He must have felt that way or why else would he have told two complete strangers all about it the first time that he met us?

Didn’t Jacob try to manage things too? The answer is yes he did. But, it got out of control for Jacob just the way it recently got for Robert. Robert and my family stayed in touch after our visit to Belgium. So, when the virus hit he naturally called me to see how I was faring over here in Westchester County, New York. 

I asked him how he was doing and I can say that good-natured, happy-go-lucky Robert’s life was in taters. Of course the hotel industry took a major hit and Robert was reeling from that. But, his personal life was the much bigger problem now. All the years of supposedly civilized behavior ended when COVID hit. If you can believe it, Robert and Huguette were on vacation when the first lockdowns occurred. Initially, Robert was forced to be in lockdown with his mistress. Then, his wife did not want him back in their marital home. 

She was angry that she was forced to cope with the onset of the outbreak without her husband. In a weird way she was now feeling the way Huguette often did. One of the complaints Huguette had over the years is that Robert’s wife got him for holidays. Also, that Robert was never there when she had car trouble or when something needed fixing. 

But now his wife was at her breaking point. She demanded that Robert choose between her and his mistress. According to Robert he was forced to make the decision to choose his wife. But wait, get this, Robert informed me that he told his wife that he would like to make a financial settlement on Huguette for their time together. 

From what he said, his wife went ballistic and consulted a lawyer who immediately filled paperwork to stop Robert from dispersing any marital funds. She also moved to establish a separation agreement. She had finally had enough and was not going to see herself or her children shorted to benefit his mistress. I hope I got that right because my French is not that good.

It was at this moment that I harkened back to my first visit to Belgium. The first time that Robert shared  the details of his personal life became the first time that I shared the biblical stance on the sanctity of marriage with him. The thing that I instantly liked was his honesty and respect. Athough he chose not to follow Jesus he shared that his parents and grandparents did. Oh, blessed family who creates the Christian home. It leaves an indelible mark upon all those who enter it.

He stated that he did not share my views but, that he had respect for them. Now, that he faces the consequences of his actions, it was a good time to plant another seed of biblical perspective. I told Robert that his life reminded me a lot of the biblical story of Jacob, Leah, and Rachel. He was open to this line of conversation. He asked me to tell him that story. 

It began, I said, a lot like your story. Jacob had one woman in mind and then another came into the picture. It complicated things. He had a responsibility to both because in the Old Testament we see that sexual knowledge brings with it a union, a marriage. There can be different terms based on if the woman was your servant, first or second wife. All the same they are all de facto marriages.

Haven’t we been missing that in these days of sexual promiscuity? There is love, plus financial and emotional responsibility and accountability to God for our actions. At this point Robert got emotional. Apparently I had hit a cord. He said, yes, yes, that is how I feel about them. I love them both and I am accountable and responsible in both those relationships. 

But, what do I do because my wife does not see it that way? I answered Leah and Rachel had some problems about that too. At this point I asked him if I could read the story and he agreed. The story starts in Genesis chapter 29 and goes on several more chapters. As I read him the story to my surprise he told me over and over how all of it’s elements rang true in his life. The ups and downs, the jealousies and rivalry for his attention. He told me he knew what he must do. I only hope that this is to accept the invitation of salvation and clarity that only a relationship with Jesus Christ can bring him.

Her Love Style

What happened to Courtney’s* apartment surprised me. She and I have one of those casual relationships. You know the type that I mean. You run into each other from time to time and have coffee or, you decide to do a mutually agreed upon shopping trip for company. We also know that when we need a new plumber or some such recommendation, that we can call one another. Some of our get-togethers would culminate in helping each other with our packages and entertaining each other over a tea or a coffee in each other’s homes.

I have known Court for about five years. During that time I have enjoyed her masterfully made iced teas on her patio or in her cozy eat-in-kitchen. Nothing that I saw or learned about her prepared me for what I saw last week when I decided to deliver her a bunch of tulips from my garden. 

My first clue is she wasn’t happy to see me. Courtney was always been nothing but cordial and hospitable the entire time that I have knew her. She is a real people person. She begrudgingly asked me if I would like to come in. I was almost afraid to enter judging by the bags under her eyes and flat affect in her voice. But, what kind of Christian would I be then?

I thanked her and said I would only stay briefly before I had to continue with my Westchester Christian Housewife list of chores for the day. When I went past the hallway leading into her living room I received a shock! I found myself in the midst of boxes and bags of things that cluttered the way enough to encumber my walk to her kitchen. 

What would you like coffee or tea? I needed to calm down after what I had seen so I asked if she had any chamomile. She certainly did. She made a pot for both of us. I guess you noticed my little shopping spree, said Courtney. Little, it is huge Courtney what is all this stuff. I could barely walk through your living room. Your living room is now a tunnel. I am wondering if this is a fire hazard, not just for you but, for your whole building?

Maybe I came on too strong because Courtney was not to happy with me and instantly got defensive. Excuse me Courtney, I do not mean to be impolite but are you okay? She instantly dissolved into tears and then her story unfolded. She told me that when the virus hit her life got turned upside down. The two things that made her feel good throughout this crisis have been looking at her stock portfolio and shopping. When she said that, it helped to clarify her situation, because while it is important to save and invest wisely, our hope and security comes from Jesus Christ. I hope that I could have an opportunity to explain that to her.

Courtney is one of those people who have done very well in the stock market this past year. Her investments brought her a 26 percent return. That is huge! However, even as she financially thrived, she was not able to escape fear of the future and a sense of insecurity. 

Courtney always liked to shop. She was for ever searching for a new outfit for her mother, a thoughtful gift for everyone’s birthday and she was the office party planner. With all the normal avenues for enjoying this social part of her life ended, she felt stymied.

There is a book entitled the Five Love Languages, written by Dr. Gary Chapman, which explains her party planning, gift-giving ways. In his book the Five Love Languages, Dr. Chapman explains five ways that people give and receive love. He posits that to understand this will improve your relationships. If you believe this premise, Courtney’s primary love language is gift-giving. It is not so important to me because this is not my primary way to give and receive love but, this theory helped me to get a better understanding of my own mother who operated in this mode.

My mother always gave my little gifts. They might be used, new or homemade. It was a way of showing that she was listening to me or was thinking about me. For example, I got it into my head that I wanted to be a  geneticist when I grew up. I talked about doing pea plant experiments in my garden just like the father of modern genetics Gregor Mendel had done. Within a short period of time, I found a pile of newspaper clippings left on my desk concerning genetics to read when I arrived home from school. Also, a used book about the life of Gregor Mendel. I was very happy but, I did not understand at the time how this was a main way of my mother communicating her feelings of love to others.

Courtney is the same. As I delved into what was behind Courtney’s hoard, I learned there were Christmas and birthday presents for her mother, father and two brothers there. She told me that she kept hoping that instead of mailing them that she would be able to get on the plane, as usual, and see her family and deliver them in person. Initially, when the pandemic hit, Courtney’s tried to keep things the same. The same for her was throwing parties and flying places to visit family and throughout always bearing gifts. 

It could be a hostess gift, a new house gift, a graduation gift. You name it, Courtney had it right here in her cluttered living room. Usually when I see a hoard such as I was now observing, my first spiritual thoughts harken to Matthew 6:19 “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal.” I know that this does not reflect Courtney’s situation. 

Her hoard reflects the pain of the past year, and the desire for things to go back to how they used to be. It also reflects the fact that her heart has been full of love which is overflowing with no place to go. I conveyed my thoughts to her and she had an old-fashioned good cry. I told her that many of her boxes should be mailed out as soon as possible. She might feel better if she also sent a short letter or card to explain why the gifts were late or why she decided to mail them. I also reiterated that I would be afraid of a fire hazard if we did not rearrange things until she could move things along. I also made her aware that she should test her smoke detectors. That last thing I think scared her a little, which was not a bad thing but, she agreed.

It seemed that Courtney had been emotionally stuck and just needed some gentle nugging to move her along. I offered to help her sort things out and even drive by and pick them up when my chores took me by the post office. Courtney is working from home and has been very busy with that as of late. She is an accountant and with tax season extended for an additional month I know from experience just how very busy she is. 

She was confined to her apartment working with numbers during lockdown. While she may have had some good intentions she had went a little crazy with shopping. There was no one busier in Westchester County, New York this past year than the Amazon drivers. But, was it alittle addictive? Yes, I believe so. An addiction has the quality of being some sort of evil coping mechanism. We need to go to Jesus, earnestly express our feelings  and pray for peace in times of trouble, not seek the adrenaline rush that shopping can bring. Shopping, Netflix binge-watching and drinking seemed to be what a lot of people did instead of facing reality. Romans 12:8 reads in part: “he that giveth, let him do it with simplicity.” I wonder if thinking about this could make Courtney feel better about what she was now preparing to do? She can send out some packages to her family and friends in a more simplified manner and yet get her message across. 

* the name has been changed to protect her privacy.

Fences

We all know the expression, “Good fences make good neighbors.” It comes from a 1914 poem by Robert Frost entitled, Mending Wall. This poem like the Bible explores the relationships that exist between neighbors and lays bare the true divide that exists in a microcosm of the human family. What we see in this poem and in the Bible is how each person’s individual need rises to trample their neighbors needs over and over again. Is it not so in your life?

The past couple of weeks has brought me two cases of bad neighborly behavior. The first story concerns a lady who invited me to her home for a cup of tea and crafting. June*is a caring and fun woman to be around. I consider her a blessing. She and I both enjoy knitting, and sewing. She has inspired me to be more creative and bold in my fabric and stitch choices. I was really looking forward to sharing some time together and discussing the latest craft projects that we are working on for church benevolence. 

I arrived at June’s house and I got a tour of her burgeoning spring garden. There were daffodils, hyacinths and forsythia blooming. What a joy! I enjoyed getting a view of her patio seating area and the whole view of her large property before all the trees bloomed. It looked beautiful. However, looks can be deceiving. 

Most people move to the suburbs seeking more livable space, a garden, and a better quality of life. Legions of city residents moving during the Covid outbreak can attest to that fact. But, can you escape the wages of sin here in Westchester County, New York? The answer is a resounding no.

The garden paradise created by God that existed for humanity exists no more and we will have to wait for justice to be re-established again during the millennial reign of Jesus Christ. But, in the meantime, we must cope and so it was with June. As we had tea and conversation, I learned that June had not slept well. The cause seemed to be the old waking up with feelings about that neighbor thing.

Nothing interrupts sleep more than unfinished spiritual business. She had a run in with her neighbor Nicole* and as much as she told herself,”not to loose sleep over this,” don’t you know that is just what happened. So what was the big deal that caused a rift between Nicole and June? It all started with an act of God.

The winter brought many damaging wind storms to Westchester County this year. 40, 50 or even 60 mile per hour winds came raging through this area. During one such storm, June had a fence come down. That fence happens to border Nicole’s property. June’s son came to survey the damage and to make a temporary repair until spring when the ground would thaw and allow for a more permanent solution.

As the weather cleared up Nicole used the opportunity to call June’s attention to the matter. Watch this now because it is text book how not to treat your neighbor behavior. Nicole angrily confronted June. She asked her if she had done this ugly thing to her tree. (June’s son had made the tree a brace for holding up the fence because the ground was frozen). She informed June that this is her tree and she wanted it fixed by the end of the week. By the way, June who has lived in the house her whole life thinks the tree belongs to her. Nicole did not give June a chance for a civil discussion on the topic.

There is so much wrong with what went on but, it is oh so typical of how God did not intend for things to run. To start with Nicole should have had a more respectful attitude with an elder neighbor, not to mention that in general Nichole was rude and had a controlling attitude. But, this is Westchester County, New York where we encourage ill-mannered, controlling attitudes. We call it assertive and winning. 

The Bible consistently discusses the concept of justice to the widow, not taking advantage of the widow in her weakness (June has been a widow for several years). Is this the best that we can do with so much going on? Bully a kind and caring widow and demand that she straighten this problem out on the weekend? Also, the weekend she was speaking about just so happened to be Easter weekend. Haven’t we any respect for the church and family celebrations surrounding that date? We are struggling with a worldwide contagion, political chaos, and an uptick in crime but, on a microcosm this is our daily sin.

Then there is my neighbor Jo.* Jo and her husband Niles* bought the house next door to me for close to a million dollars. They vastly overpaid for the property. The real estate prices have traditionally been high in Westchester due to its excellent school systems (depends on what you call excellent) and the proximity of the County to the economic engine of New York City. Maybe that explains why they would pay just shy of a cool million to purchase a house situated on a rock, with a lot of stairs, a minuscule yard and which is situated right off a busy street. 

Spending all that money gives one the right to act as the baronial Lord of the block doesn’t it? All this despite her husbands Yale education, his woke professorial role at a semi-Ivy league school close by. Noblesse oblige I guess. This week she yelled, in her yearly tirade, at one of my lawn men for getting some leaves on her property. This from a woman whose own lawn men have done the same to me. Her roofer indiscriminately dropped her old roof debris onto my property and on top of my new cars. Her airbnb tenant drops dozens of cigarettes in front of my house, not hers, and by my cars not hers. This man who she harasses cleans up after her tenants mess and never complains.

My man Tom* has struggled with depression after loosing his job due to back trouble. He works very hard in the lawn maintenance job that he now has. Yet, he battles back trouble, and depression valiantly. If Jo knew how hard this man works and how much he is battling would she yell at him as if he were a dog? I hope not. But, I tipped him an extra twenty bucks and told him that he was a better man than her. He did not lower himself to her level. However, I could see in his eyes how sad he was. 

This all seems insane to me because I have read the Bible and it gives me clarity on these events. I am my brothers keeper. Pure religion is to uphold the widow. We are called to serve others. Do onto others and all that. I know that these directives are suppose to be more than words. 

The saddest thing to me is how we all need each other but all we do is push one another away. The Bible puts a high premium on treating people fairly. You can have a disagreement but not be mean or unreasonable. You can put yourself in some one else’s place. You can offer to help your neighbor or her son should they need a hand when they get ready to put up their fence. You could stop looking at what leaves are getting put on your lawn and start cleaning up the mess that you have created for others. Or, at least use the same standard on your own workmen that you expect others to uphold. 

As June told me of her sad encounter with her neighbor and after I had sufficiently comforted her, I asked her if it would be okay to lead her in prayer. I reminded her that the Bible tells us to pray for those who hurt us. She agreed. I think we both felt better when we chose to follow God’s directive in all this. I had to do my own praying after I had my own encounter with a so-called neighbor. 

I have learned to express my hurt, vent my anger and then go to God in prayer. It helps give me peace, in a world in need of it. It helps to soften my heart toward that individual. So often after praying for someone, I find empathy and a renewed sense of telling them about Jesus. It helps me to stay on track with the Lord instead of getting caught up in a worldly attitude. 

* the names are changed but the story is true.

Easter 2021

As I read the biblical accounts of the time surrounding Jesus’s death and resurrection and attend church services I begin to think of the meaning of the resurrection. Jesus’s death and resurrection is the pivotal moment in human history upon which everything hinges. His life for our life. His atonement for our sins. His sacrifice for our eternal life. It does not get any more pivotal than that. There is no hope without him, there is no meaning or direction without him. Nothing makes sense without the understanding of what our creator gave for our existence. (1Peter 3:18- For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteousness, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in spirit.)

Yet, we cover that up by overlaying that message with pagan overtones as played out in our egg hunts, Easter bunny photo-ops and chocolate candies. There is no way to soft-pedal the truth that these practices are steeped in early pagan religions. We have all gotten caught up in them in one way or the other and that is all a distraction from the most important event of human history, which is the message of the Cross.(Hebrews 12:2- Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.)

Just where do you think these distractions come from? They are of Satan. Satan who seeks to insert his counterfeit message in place of the real message. The messages are close, Satan but no cigar. I entreat you to grow in Christian maturity by examining, comparing and contrasting all of the Easter traditions and see if this isn’t the case.

Satan creates only a facsimile of the things of God. It is a subtle thing and will tug at people’s imagination and direct them away from the one true God. So, for example, we see the egg and the bunny as being symbols of the rebirth of spring. Fertility of the land meant crops again being planted, food once again growing in the north lands after winter’s deprivations. Animals born in the spring provided the protein sources needed to renew one’s strength. But, behind the subtlety of rejoicing at the turn of seasons is a focusing on the creation rather than the creator.  A replacing of the spiritual by the material. (2Thessalonians 2:9-10- The coming of the lawless one is in accord with the activity of Satan, with all power and signs and false wonders, and with all the deception of wickedness for those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth so as to be saved.)

We are grateful to God for the much needed changes brought by the spring season.  We are grateful that God provides the things that we need, including the food that we can now grow and the animals that we can again hunt or raise. But, the focus must be on God. The past included the worship of nature. All of our ancestors were looking for meaning in the stars, in the earth, and in its seasons. They were looking for the meaning of their earthly lives yet, because of the sin of Adam and Eve, that first knowledge was clouded and the counterfeit truth replaced the True.                                                                                                                                 (Romans 1:25- Who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.)

Are we celebrating a counterfeit Easter this year? If so, how do we begin to change it? The first thing that we must do is to read the biblical accounts of what really happened: beginning with the story of Jesus’s entry into Jerusalem all the way up to his resurrection. Let’s all make sure that we really understand what happened. The story has been co-opted by many people over the years. There have been books and documentaries which have attempted to re-interpret the story. Also, many traditions have arisen clouding peoples understanding of the events and how they actually transpired. So, we begin by making sure that we understand the real story.                                                                                                                                   ( You can begin at Jesus’ entry into Jerusalem. Matthew 21:1-11, Mark 11:1-11, Luke 19: 28-40, and John 12:12-19)

Next, we have to start a dialogue with the world about this real story. That seems simple enough, doesn’t it?  But then we find out that it isn’t really so simple at all.  Many of us have gotten used to compromising our faith in order to placate those around us. We may even be in danger of losing a job or being “cut-off” by a family member. What a terrible shame that it has come to this. However, didn’t Jesus tell us that his followers would have “no place to lay their head?” Aren’t souls at stake? (1 John 2:2- He is propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but, also for the sins of the whole world.)

A good guide about starting this outreach came from my Pastor at a recent service, as he read from the book of Exodus. In this book we see that responsibility for transmitting the Passover message begins within the family. My Pastor described how the story is repeated yearly during each family’s Passover Seder. Are we telling the story of Jesus at our family gatherings this year? The person to person transmission of the truth begins with us and those closest to us. We can not shrink from this responsibility no matter how much our teenagers roll their eyes or old Uncle so-and-so decries “those hypocritical Christians”.   (Exodus 12:14- This is the day you are to commemorate; for the generations to come you shall celebrate it as a Festival of the Lord- a lasting ordinance.)

Finally, there is the word “Easter”.  In previous Easter messages I have gotten into the possible etymology of this word.  I could do it again, but, suffice it to say it is murky. Some Christians have begun to use the phrase “Resurrection Day” instead of “Easter” as a means to begin the dialogue of which we speak. That is great and obviously it clarifies the matter from the start to say “Happy Resurrection Day”, which makes clear what it is they are celebrating. 

However, some Christians feel that since the term “Easter” has become such a part of the vernacular that they will continue to use it but clarify what it means to them. This is all good in my mind because it begins to straighten out some of the counterfeit garbage that has infiltrated the “greatest story every told.”

I believe that the telling of the story of Jesus’ death and resurrection began in a similar manner after his empty tomb was discovered. People began to tell their family. Next, they told anyone who would listen. They needed to sort out lots of things too. Yet, as the church began to grow, they took on this work as a spiritual body with Christ as their head.                                                                                                                  (John 20:17- (Jesus instructing Mary says, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them,’I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”

Oughtn’t we to do the same? Can you imagine the excitement of finding that tomb empty and discovering the promises fulfilled? Don’t we need this now more than ever? I urge us all to make this Resurrection Day count.  It can be called Easter, but let’s all seize the moment that God has given us to make sure that we say something genuine and focus on what is true.  Don’t the hurting people of this world, our neighbors and our family deserve that? I rejoice with you: Jesus Christ is Risen and because of that I have hope.                                                                                                                                                                (I John 4:14- And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world.”

Should I stay or should I go?

I am sure that you are aware of the huge population shifts that have occurred as a result of the worldwide pandemic. The virus that originated in China and spread throughout the entire world is the worst disaster of our times. Comparisons are constantly made between Covid and many other catastrophic historic events. Rightly so too. Who doesn’t conjecture about the similarities that exist between Covid-19 and the Black Death for instance?

These type of happenings always put people on the move for a variety of reasons. I am constantly reminded of this in Westchester County, New York. The real estate market here is crazy as a result of people wanting to escape the crime, lockdowns and loss of quality of life in Brooklyn and Manhattan. 

There are the New York team cheerleaders of course. Those who refuse to speak anything but positivity concerning New York City or its spill over cousin Brooklyn. However, the reality is far from that positive thinking version of the truth. Very, very far from the truth. In fact, that is a false narrative. Fake news. What are the facts? New York City is reeling and may not come back to enjoy the elitist status that it has come to enjoy over the years. 

Facts:  

Job Loss/ Huge Workplace Changes

Crime Increase/ Police Under-siege

Homes and Apartments that are too small.

No Opera, Ballet, or Broadway

Restaurant Experiences Not What It Used To Be

High Prices and High Cost of Living

The past couple of weeks, I have been engaged in spirited debates with friends who are looking at the pros and cons of a move. Here are several such stories.

Ron* has lived in New York City his whole life. He was born and raised there as was his mother and grandmother. He thinks New York City is the center of the universe. He knows New York like the back of his hand. He is the complete insider. However, his life has not been so rosy since the Covid virus hit. He is a landlord in NYC. 

There have been nervous tenants, enhanced cleanings, and a contractor who died of Covid. Taking his friend to the hospital to set a broken bone at the height of the Covid scare. Eating outdoors until his fingers turned blue. The fear of contracting Covid in such close quarters. The fear of tenants taking advantage of the rent leniency that was legislated during the epidemic. Also, lawsuits, city regulations and the possibility of increased taxes on his building to offset the financial crisis heading for the Big Apple. 

He was used to getting away for week-long trips now and then to release the inevitable stress that being a landlord brings. This has been difficult due to the current situation and has made Ron ponder the possibility of moving out of his building, and buying a place outside of the City. He could still manage his building. Also, by moving he would be releasing one more apartment to rent. That would be a way to increase his revenue. 

He has even begun to wonder if it is time to sell his building altogether and get out of this business. What if there are waves and waves of diseases? There is something vaguely creepy about the upcoming immunity passport in New York. It is called the Excelsior Pass. Ron doesn’t think it will be that easy to straighten things out. Will all this impact his long term business goals? He wonders this even though he owns a building  in one of the best areas of NYC, i.e. the Upper East Side. Of course he knows that if he sells his building now he won’t get nearly as much as he would have. Prices have tanked in NYC as people are moving out in droves. 

Then there is John*. John has been a widower for about five years. His kids are in college and he wonders if now is the time to move out of his house in Westchester. He sees his wife everywhere that he looks in their small town and home. He remembers their life together and feels unable to move forward. He sometimes thinks that he should be living somewhere he would have more activities that he could enjoy. What about a condo which has a pool or a golf course? He also lives in one of the highest taxed counties in the nation and it does not look like it will get better any time soon. 

Add to that his suburban block. It is full of young parents with their 2.5 children, dog, cat or ferret. He no longer feels as if he fits in. His friends tell him it is time to meet someone. He is not so sure. He and his wife had a beautiful partnership. How easy will it be to replace that? Also, he is stuck with how young his wife was and how quickly she passed away. I know he feels foolish saying that he can’t believe it happened but he can’t. 

John’s even looked at a place that his friend recommended. He was considering how nice it might be to have someone else mow and shovel for him. But, John was happy to have his backyard and roomy home to enjoy during lockdown. If he had bought that condo it would have been depressing stuck in his small condo because the pool and recreation room were closed. Still, he has been using this past year to begin to clean his house and get rid of some things. He is all packed up with no place to go. New plan for him, maybe Florida?

Then there is Mary*. Mary was originally from South America. She was married to a Portuguese man for many years. They went through a nasty divorce some time ago. They had one daughter together and now have two grandsons. Mary’s daughter Maggie* has just informed her mother that she has put in for a job transfer from the United States to Portugal. Furthermore, she has started the paperwork necessary for her and her family to relocate.

Mary was blindsided by the news. Her daughter had not included her in the preliminary planning of this move so it was a complete shock. Now, Mary is facing the prospect of uprooting her life here in New York to move to Portugal. What choice does she have? She wants to see her grandsons grow up. Also, she is not certain if there will be lockdowns in the future because of one virus variant or another and she can not stand the idea of being so far away from her grandchildren if that should happen. 

The truth is Mary is getting old and her arthritis has been getting worse. Although Maggie has not been that supportive of her mother in the past, she is hoping that her daughter would be there if she needed her help. I am not so sure. Mary and Maggie have had a cold and distant relationship for as long as I knew them. Maggie blames her mother for her parents divorce. There is a lot Maggie does not know and Mary has not wished to malign her ex-husband in his daughter’s eyes. Everyone else that I know wishes she would since he was such a cad. But, Mary is correct to believe a parent should not put their children in the middle of their marital issues. Is this a good move for her? It will not be easy given the cold way that her daughter treats her but, she must try to reach some sort of accord with her daughter and stay close to her family. 

Then there is me. During lockdown, my friend Leila* escaped the harsh reality of her life by looking at real estate listings. She kept thinking despite the virus fallout that it was a great time to buy due to interest rates being so low. She was triple washing anything that came into her apartment, and changing her clothes every time she came home from a shopping trip but, somehow she thought it was okay to go into strangers homes as she tried to upgrade from an apartment to a house here in Westchester. 

She would call me frequently to go over listings that she had found and ask my advise. She had never bought a house before and came to me for some insight into the process. It made me feel so smart when I would catch things that she had missed. It wasn’t too hard really but, catching her mistakes became a sport for me. Leila, I know that area of Pleasantville. You drove by during the start of Covid that is why you did not see traffic but ordinarily that street will be very busy.

Or, Leila you are working from home now but should you ever have to see clients in person again, they will not wish to drive that far. Then there was the lovely property in North Tarrytown. It looked cute in the pictures until you looked in the backyard and saw the ancient pool. Leila that pool is going to cost a fortune to take out and replace. She wanted to take it out and expand the house. Not so fast said I, there are rules, regulations and permits involved. We debated this and she asked me to meet her for a walk around the outside of the property.

I was so serious. Did you know that I was on the serious side? I bet you did. I even had a clip board with a checklist and it was a good thing that I did because Leila was like a babe in the woods as regards homes. Leila, this retaining wall looks like it needs to be replaced. The roof is at the end of its’ life span, the siding is shot and the pool is a major construction project. It looked much better on the real estate listing.

Then there was the church retreat in Ossining which she wanted to convert into a business center. Except, when we arrived we found two squatting families hesitant to leave. They were actively trying to dissuade my friend by saying how many things were wrong with the property. If it was so bad why don’t they want to leave? When I purposely countered their claims about how bad the property was, they even tried to scare us womenfolk with tales of snakes on the property. That was all Leila needed to hear. She was outta there.

In the process of helping Leila I started to think about how fun it might be to get a new place. I would search along with her at first in Westchester and then expand my search to Upstate New York, Arizona, Arkansas, Missouri, and Pennsylvania. It was as if I was traveling again, in my head anyway. I didn’t need a green pass, an excelsior pass or to be scrutinized with an enhanced drivers license. 

A trip in my head was great but, then the possibility of getting out of New York began to take seed with me. After all, I have read my blogs! Why am I here? Sure, it is mission territory and I have God’s work to do everyday. A day never goes by when I don’t have an opportunity to tell someone about Jesus. However, is this the time to turn my back on Sodom and Gomorrah and not look back? The more that I thought about it, the more that it made sense.

So, we have actually taken several trips and looked at some properties. The first properties that we looked at were in New York State. The taxes and the hostility toward the Christian lifestyle made us think of our options outside of New York. It makes me a little sick really. I have lived here my whole life. In New York they train you young to think that New York is the center of everything. You can’t get better than New York. The best medical care, the best food, the best arts and entertainment. That has all fallen apart or maybe it was all hype to begin with. All I know is that when I visit states where people are mannerly, friendly, Christian and conservative I feel a certain joy. A joy that I haven’t felt in a long time. 

I just had a conversation with an 84 yr old woman. She described her childhood church in New York in all it’s vibrancy. God has been replaced in New York since then. Replaced with yoga, Buddhism, and atheists. Every perversion is running wild. Is it time for me to leave? Maybe so.

* the names are changed to protect privacy but the stories are true.