My husband went to Brooklyn for a Christmas get-together with the guys. The usual talk centers around computers, robots, and programming dilemmas. So different than when I get together with the ladies. In fact, just last weekend, I went to a Church Christmas play and I can definitely affirm that technology, i-phones and computer games took a back seat to discussions of relationships, relationships and more relationships.
However, this time was different. Much to my husbands' surprise, a detour and an innocent question opened up the Pandora's box of his friends' marital hell! Why is it that we hold in our marital problems until we are about to burst? It wasn't simply new parent exhaustion, or I'm feeling jealous of the baby thing. No, it was a full-blown, why did I get married and this is over thing.
Vincent (not his real name) felt pressured into marriage. He now realized that he shouldn't have ignored some things that he saw when he was dating his wife. Furthermore, according to Vincent, she had gone crazy since she had that baby. "She gets emotional about everything, she's crazy." This after only five years of marriage. My husband countered with the old, "didn't you take a vow for better or worse?" And, "maybe God put you there so that you could be a help to her." Upon the last remark Vincent replied with the snarky, " oh, I thought that you were a man of science, I didn't think you believed in that."
The Judeo-Christian view of marriage offers a stark contrast to that of popular cultural trends. There is patience and service as opposed to vexation and how can they serve me? The Bible gives us the responsibility of reflecting upon our sins first and foremost. Indeed, Jesus once reflected, "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is thine own eye?" Matthew 7:3 (KJV). There is covenant love ( a deep physical, emotional and spiritual connection) as opposed to convenient love ( temporary and subject to revocation).
My husband and I reflected on the fact that nowadays it seems not uncommon to hear couples break up after one, two, or three years of marriage. What a terrible toll this has taken on all of us. Yet, we hardly ever see that the problems are insurmountable only that people are stubborn or selfish. Has that included us? Of course.
What can we do? As we begin the New Year, let us reflect on the truth of our marriage. Next, let each and everyone of us look cold and hard in the mirror. How does our behavior line up with the following scriptures : 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV).
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth,
7 it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 love never fails.
New Year's Resolution : Let us all commit to making our marriages a top priority everyday.
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