Even as catacyclismic events shake our world, the ordinary things of life intrude. Such was the case with Melissa* and Jim*. With everything else on their plates these past three miserable months, they have had to deal with marital issues too. The problem is, they haven't. Instead of growing closer during lockdown, they have grown further apart. Instead of facing problems, they ignored them. Lockdown has put them in close proximity and it hasn't been good.
As a result, all the issues that they have managed to ignore when they spent half the day apart have been magnified. What bad habits does Jim have that Melissa managed to ignore when she threw herself into her daily grind? How will Jim cope when he can't use his ringing work phone as an excuse to hang up when they disagree? Yup, Jim and Melissa's marital woes are front and center now.
I want to emphasize that Melissa and Jim are not facing anything new, but the virus situation has forced them to look at things they had been avoiding for a long time. Things that emerged when they first got married and have been swept under the carpet ever since. Jim is a super messy guy. Everywhere he goes you see it: his house, his office, his car. Melissa likes a place for everything and everything in its place. Jim is a casual guy. He would rather wear jeans, flannel shirts and sneakers. Melissa claims he can be unkempt and that he wouldn't even cut his nails if she didn't force him. Jim thinks Melissa is too clingy and emotional. Melissa claims Jim isn't emotionally available to her.
What about Jorge*? Single and under lockdown he has grown depressed. He is drinking alcohol to excess. It seems that family and people whom he thought were his friends have not been there for him. He understood that everyone kind of went into a cocoon and isolated, but it left him lonely and questioning just who he could count on. On top of all that, Jorge who has been able to work from home, began hearing rumors circulate that there will be some layoffs at his firm this fall. He thinks he might lose his job.
As Jorge grew scruffier and scruffier in his appearance some parents began to look askance at him when he put out his garbage in boxers and an undershirt. I wonder how he showed up to his office Zoom meetings? Heaven only knows this is not the way to gain friends and maintain employment. Jorge is also reading everything about COVID-19 that he can. He has taken to predicting the probability of virus resurgence and obsessing over the business ramifications. Too bad he is not qualified to get a job doing that. He might even make better models than some of the scientists and economists have been making.
As things have started to open up and life has cautiously begun to resume, will Melissa, Jim and Jorge make changes to their lives with some of the things they have learned during lockdown? I hope so. Or, will they just push uncomfortable feelings back beneath the surface like some terrible game of whack-a-mole? The choice is theirs to make.
People are talking about the good things that have come out of lockdown, but can they face some of the difficult truths about themselves and their lives that have emerged too? I think we should all do that. Is there something that may have to change in our lives? In our marriage, friendship, finances or job? Are we facing the specter of financial reversal? I certainly hope not, but we all should prepare for uncertain times.
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about Joseph in the Bible. The Joseph who got sold into slavery by his brothers. He got dragged kicking and screaming down a road he wished he was not on. What lead up to that? We know there was jealousy and hard feelings. Family problems that perhaps were sweep under the carpet and not addressed? Joseph probably had to deal with feelings of depression and anger over the years. He was rejected by those that he thought he could trust in a cruel and terrible way.
It is difficult to think of the horrendous things that surely happened to Joseph under slavery. The bitterness of his situation could have taken Joseph on a completely different path than the one he took. I am hoping that we will start to be the strong men and women of God that we ought to be. We need to take the Joseph route just about now. He faced the truth about his life, then forgave and even prospered in his situation.
How did he do that? How can we do that? The answer is we have to humble ourselves and seek God. More than ever we have to get real and get God. The craziness that I see around me every single day convinces me of that. We all must take a stand for virtue at this moment in history. We have to be very certain that we are doing godly things and not working against those standards. The stakes are quite high for our own lives and in the fate of this world.
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and forgive their sin, and will heal their land. -2 Chronicles 7:14.
* the names are changed to protect privacy.
Monday, June 29, 2020
Friday, June 12, 2020
Conversations about George Floyd
Sami* called me last week and was looking for some encouragement concerning the looting and anarchy that has exploded since the death of George Floyd. She seemed very sad, and confused concerning the unfolding events. She was concerned for the future of our country. Another friend Renee* had worked very hard to start a business in New York City only to have the double blow of coronavirus and George Floyd riots put her in financial free-fall. She is devastated.
If I were to characterize both women's achievements I would be amiss if I did not mention that each of them had come to the forefront to take financial responsibility for their families after catastrophic events. Sami worked two jobs to take care of her husband and young children when her husband's business failed. The ensuing depression he felt left him unable to resume business as usual. Sami was like super woman during that time.
Renee had taken over her family business and the raising of her teenage brother when her parents had a serious automobile accident. She was barely seventeen years old at the time. Always the responsible one, she has never stopped working ever since. Her beauty salon was a long time dream in the making. She had saved and planned for five years to make it happen. It was awful to see how a mob of people ended all that. They broke in and stole hair products, dryers, paintings on the wall and then took a hammer to the place. James 3:18- Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
Each friend asked me for spiritual guidance. The frank conversations that I had with Sami and Renee helped me clarify my own thoughts on this matter. For me, all serious discussions have to begin with an examination of biblical principles. The bible describes itself as useful towards discernment in life matters. So, it is vitality important to seek true wisdom from it during times of moral dilemma. The Bible acts as the sieve in which we can place life issues to see if they shake out. 2 Timothy 2:15 (NIV)- "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth."
It also tells us that what we believe is written in our thoughts, words and deeds each day. Jesus made this clear when he told us, that we can know people by their fruit. What is their fruit like? Is the fruit good or is it rotten? Matthew 7:15 (NIV)- "Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheeps's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will rocognize them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushs or figs from thistles?" These are the various guideposts that we use to help us on our way toward moral clarity.
It is from this point of view that we are ready to examine the George Floyd event. We will start by looking at some of the facts of the story. A black man under arrest for passing counterfeit bills was killed by a white police officer. It appears that the man arrested and the arresting officer may have worked with one another in the past. The arrested man, George Floyd, was a career criminal with a lengthy rap sheet who was high on drugs at the time of his arrest. The police officer is under arrest and being investigated to ascertain what occurred. He will be considered innocent until given a trial to ascertain his guilt or innocence as prescribed by the laws of the United States,
Now fast forward past that arrest and subsequent death of George Floyd to what is going on now. What you will see, is robbery, assaults, and anarchy on a massive scale. You also see grandiose political motives being unveiled with poorly thought out reasoning. This is all the fruit that Jesus was talking about.
In the above passage from the book of Matthew it describes false prophets who look like they are sweet little sheep but are very far from that. This passage makes it clear by the word prophet that we are sure to run into those who would like to lead us. The word prophet also connotes the fact that they will try to effect some sort of moral authority as they lead us.
Don't we see all of that happening now? The Lord helps us to understand that we must always look closely at a situation before we take a stand (look at the fruit). It is important to take a close look at individuals, groups and movements before we decide to join them. It may seem like there is only one answer to every problem, especially when people are shoving these ideas down your throat on news and social media 24/7. Not to mention all your favorite sports and Hollywood legends going along too.
However, just because everyone is doing it, doesn't make something right. Humanity has been down that road one too many times before. I happened to be reading a good historical novel set in the former Soviet Union when these George Floyd protests began. This book reminded me how Joseph Stalin, the communist dictator, used the death of Sergei Kirov as a justification to repress and promote his agenda and to kill or imprison those who he thought were his enemies. Then there is the famous story of Adolf Hitler who created a false political drama to help him win an election that he would not have won otherwise. These, and many other historical stories have flooded my mind lately. The stories seem to bare a striking resemblance to events going on right now. God imbued us with intelligence and an ability to reason, not follow foolish people that go against godly precepts.
Some godly principles are being shoved underneath the carpet. Here is one of them, the concept of factions or divisions among people. While I can write much on this topic, let me give you two bible verses to think about. One comes from 1 Corinthians 3:3- For you are still carnal. For where there are envy, strife, and divisions among you, are you not carnal and behaving like mere men? The answer is: yes. The question is: doesn't that bible verse sound just like the accounts of the protests that I see and read about every day? This Bible verse subtlety points out that this is less than the standard that God has laid out for us. Divisions don't represent the fruit of a mature believer in God almighty. In fact just the opposite. However, Paul the Apostle goes out of his way to let us know that we can learn something from it all. 1 Corinthians 11:19- No doubt there have to be differences among you to show which of you have God's approval.
Wow, that amazing verse is again a reminder that God wants us to have discernment in life matters. Does the means justify the ends in Christianity? No. The means is the end in Christianity. Jesus said, "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart"-Matthew 5:28. What does this mean and how does it relate to George Floyd? When we lust after those foot locker sneakers, what a person has, or that person's spouse, we have already begun the sin process. We have made a way for sin to proceed. We must have a vision of life the way it should be lived in order to be the person that we should be and have a happy community. That vision can only be found in God. Isn't it important to know that we have a Father in heaven who does not see divisions of sex or color? Instead, the only division he sees is between righteous and unrighteousness. It is up to us which of those two that we wish to be. Visualize this: Psalm 133:1- Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for Brethren to dwell together in unity!
* the names have been changed to protect privacy but the story is true.
If I were to characterize both women's achievements I would be amiss if I did not mention that each of them had come to the forefront to take financial responsibility for their families after catastrophic events. Sami worked two jobs to take care of her husband and young children when her husband's business failed. The ensuing depression he felt left him unable to resume business as usual. Sami was like super woman during that time.
Renee had taken over her family business and the raising of her teenage brother when her parents had a serious automobile accident. She was barely seventeen years old at the time. Always the responsible one, she has never stopped working ever since. Her beauty salon was a long time dream in the making. She had saved and planned for five years to make it happen. It was awful to see how a mob of people ended all that. They broke in and stole hair products, dryers, paintings on the wall and then took a hammer to the place. James 3:18- Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
Each friend asked me for spiritual guidance. The frank conversations that I had with Sami and Renee helped me clarify my own thoughts on this matter. For me, all serious discussions have to begin with an examination of biblical principles. The bible describes itself as useful towards discernment in life matters. So, it is vitality important to seek true wisdom from it during times of moral dilemma. The Bible acts as the sieve in which we can place life issues to see if they shake out. 2 Timothy 2:15 (NIV)- "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth."
It also tells us that what we believe is written in our thoughts, words and deeds each day. Jesus made this clear when he told us, that we can know people by their fruit. What is their fruit like? Is the fruit good or is it rotten? Matthew 7:15 (NIV)- "Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheeps's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will rocognize them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushs or figs from thistles?" These are the various guideposts that we use to help us on our way toward moral clarity.
It is from this point of view that we are ready to examine the George Floyd event. We will start by looking at some of the facts of the story. A black man under arrest for passing counterfeit bills was killed by a white police officer. It appears that the man arrested and the arresting officer may have worked with one another in the past. The arrested man, George Floyd, was a career criminal with a lengthy rap sheet who was high on drugs at the time of his arrest. The police officer is under arrest and being investigated to ascertain what occurred. He will be considered innocent until given a trial to ascertain his guilt or innocence as prescribed by the laws of the United States,
Now fast forward past that arrest and subsequent death of George Floyd to what is going on now. What you will see, is robbery, assaults, and anarchy on a massive scale. You also see grandiose political motives being unveiled with poorly thought out reasoning. This is all the fruit that Jesus was talking about.
In the above passage from the book of Matthew it describes false prophets who look like they are sweet little sheep but are very far from that. This passage makes it clear by the word prophet that we are sure to run into those who would like to lead us. The word prophet also connotes the fact that they will try to effect some sort of moral authority as they lead us.
Don't we see all of that happening now? The Lord helps us to understand that we must always look closely at a situation before we take a stand (look at the fruit). It is important to take a close look at individuals, groups and movements before we decide to join them. It may seem like there is only one answer to every problem, especially when people are shoving these ideas down your throat on news and social media 24/7. Not to mention all your favorite sports and Hollywood legends going along too.
However, just because everyone is doing it, doesn't make something right. Humanity has been down that road one too many times before. I happened to be reading a good historical novel set in the former Soviet Union when these George Floyd protests began. This book reminded me how Joseph Stalin, the communist dictator, used the death of Sergei Kirov as a justification to repress and promote his agenda and to kill or imprison those who he thought were his enemies. Then there is the famous story of Adolf Hitler who created a false political drama to help him win an election that he would not have won otherwise. These, and many other historical stories have flooded my mind lately. The stories seem to bare a striking resemblance to events going on right now. God imbued us with intelligence and an ability to reason, not follow foolish people that go against godly precepts.
Some godly principles are being shoved underneath the carpet. Here is one of them, the concept of factions or divisions among people. While I can write much on this topic, let me give you two bible verses to think about. One comes from 1 Corinthians 3:3- For you are still carnal. For where there are envy, strife, and divisions among you, are you not carnal and behaving like mere men? The answer is: yes. The question is: doesn't that bible verse sound just like the accounts of the protests that I see and read about every day? This Bible verse subtlety points out that this is less than the standard that God has laid out for us. Divisions don't represent the fruit of a mature believer in God almighty. In fact just the opposite. However, Paul the Apostle goes out of his way to let us know that we can learn something from it all. 1 Corinthians 11:19- No doubt there have to be differences among you to show which of you have God's approval.
Wow, that amazing verse is again a reminder that God wants us to have discernment in life matters. Does the means justify the ends in Christianity? No. The means is the end in Christianity. Jesus said, "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart"-Matthew 5:28. What does this mean and how does it relate to George Floyd? When we lust after those foot locker sneakers, what a person has, or that person's spouse, we have already begun the sin process. We have made a way for sin to proceed. We must have a vision of life the way it should be lived in order to be the person that we should be and have a happy community. That vision can only be found in God. Isn't it important to know that we have a Father in heaven who does not see divisions of sex or color? Instead, the only division he sees is between righteous and unrighteousness. It is up to us which of those two that we wish to be. Visualize this: Psalm 133:1- Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for Brethren to dwell together in unity!
* the names have been changed to protect privacy but the story is true.
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