Real love and affection exists in the ******* family. They have been through so much together and have emerged victorious. They have made a fortune and live in Westchester County New York. Yet, they have their scars.They emigrated from Russia when it was still not easy to do that. Their family had suffered so much before they managed to leave. The financial hardships and religious persecutions combined with their status as poor people from provinces far away from Moscow and St. Petersburg, left generations of their family with no opportunities for advancement. Sometimes, they barely managed to eek out a living. Over the years, the family had been resourceful, even clever trying to make ends meet. Bartering with neighbors and forging alliances that could ensure meat and bread for their table. They had that same resourcefulness working for them when they came to the United States.
By the time that I met the ******* family Yeva* seemed to be the head of the family. Her husband Kirill*seemed to be just going through the motions. He seemed emotionally shut down and distant. It did not help that he was not able to pick up English as quickly as his wife did. His inability to speak the English language made him feel isolated in the greater society. Luckily, Kirill spoke the universal language of the computer code. He was able to get a job in IT when he arrived in the States. The job was far beneath Kirill's capability and did not pay much. However, due to his inadequacy in mastering the English language he was unable to move ahead.
Yeva, did a little better. She too was naturally gifted in computer programming and was able to work in the IT field. Both Kirill and Yeva attended colleges of little reputation in Russia, but due to the drive of their collective families, they learned much more. Yeva's grandfather was a whiz with numbers. He made it his job to drill her in basic arithmetic functions when she was quite young. When he saw that she was talented, he continued to instruct her. Yeva's grandfather was self-taught. As a young child he found a mathematics textbook left on a train. He hid this book from his parents who would have surely made him give it to the train conductor or to the police. Yeva told me her grandfather was a laborer who worked long hours every day of his life until his hands curled up with advanced arthritis. Proverbs 22:6- Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Yeva had a dream for her children Maksim,* Artem* and Alina* and just like her grandfather, she began drilling her children at a very young age in mathematics and in addition, programming. Yeva had a passion for this like nothing else in her life. She drilled them like their life depended on it! Pretty soon, it payed off. All three of her children were focused and ready to enter college and enter the world of programming. Her youngest, Alina, entered college at sixteen. Those years were not easy for Kirill and Yeva. They spent every cent that they made ensuring that their children moved ahead. This frequently left them in financial deficit. It also put their relationship as husband and wife on the back burner for a long, long time. Psalm 127:3- Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watchers over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat.
Although their family had once been so religious in the former Soviet Union that the authorities sought to put a damper on it, now, the family is spiritually lost. Years of Soviet oppression had succeeded in changing them to Christians just going through the motions of ritual. As Kirill failed to thrive in the U.S. Yeva seemed to become the head of the family. Often, disrespecting her husband's opinions or input. She seemed in a permanent state of adrenal overdrive even after her children were on a successful path. It seemed she could not let go of parenting even after her children were grown and successful in their fields. She seeks to micro-manage everything in her children's life as she consults with them daily, despite her husband's objections. 1 Peter 3:1- Wives respect your husband
Fear has gripped her life. She is very mistrustful of people and situations. Yeva can not believe that everything her family has achieved is real. I believe the trauma of her younger years has left her feeling as if some one is going to come and take everything away. She acts as if she needs to be vigilant, lest some bad fate might befall her adult children. She alone is their savior. Phil 4:6-7- Do not be anxious about anything, but in prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your petitions to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and minds through Christ Jesus.
When does love and a vision for the future turn into controlling and overbearing melodrama? The answer is when we stop trusting God. When we place God on a shelf somewhere and think of His Word the Bible as less than the spiritual guidance that it is. There are lots of reasons why we do this. Yeva and Kirill lived in a country which for many years was on a mission to destroy their people's faith in God. Indeed, to deny Gods existence! Everything was stacked against Yeva and Kirill and now they are confused. Go to God with your bad experiences and pray to Him, ask Him what it all means. He will not disappoint! I know, because I've been there. I have hope for the ******* family, because God has promised us that if we seek Him, we will find Him. They are just a prayer away from regaining all that they have lost. James 1:5- If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives all generously without finding fault.
*******-the names have been changed.
Tuesday, September 26, 2017
Monday, September 18, 2017
Fruit
"Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so, every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit." (Matthew 7:16-17). This verse can impart much wisdom in our everyday life. If you are interviewing candidates for employment, their references may help you decide if you should hire them or not. Are they competent in their field? Do they use their time constructively? Do they work well with others? "Ye shall know them by their fruits!"
A lab manager I knew brushed aside the "fruit" right in front of him on Michelle's* Linkedin profile. It showed that she hadn't stayed in one position very long in her ten year career. She had credentials from a top-rated University and had what seemed to be decent references in her past employment. She explained on her interview that she has done quite a bit of world travel but she was ready to settle down as her daughter got ready to start kindergarten.
Something had not seemed right to Dr. Hoffmann* but he chose to ignore those feelings and hired Michelle anyway. Later on, Dr. Hoffmann told me that he should have explored further before hiring Michelle. It turned out that Michelle had a major drinking problem. Michelle's previous employers chose not to disclose this because Michelle begged them not to and assured them all that she was now a recovering alcoholic. She worked in a laboratory setting where her drinking could be dangerous to her and those around her. One day she came back from lunch and she had been drinking. When confronted by Dr. Hoffmann, she denied everything, even as she reeked of alcohol and slurred her words. She had to be fired for drinking on the job.
If you seek discernment concerning a man that you are interested in dating, ask yourself what are his "fruits?" Does he treat his family well? Maybe he can't help but look at other women even when he's out with you! Does he keep promises? Hard-worker or hardly working? All of these things show his "fruit." The same can be true when searching for Mrs. Right.
My husband's friend Fabien* is a case in point. My husband and Fabien recently had lunch at Teppanyaki restaurant in Zürich. The talk soon turned to Fabian's growing uneasiness concerning his girlfriends' spending habits. "Ines* spends every dime she makes. With the kind of money that she makes, she should be putting away $$$$$ per year!" He is also not comfortable with the amount of time her son spends on his devices. All these things are very different from the way Fabien runs his life. "Ye shall know them by their fruits!"
In my experience, many people end up in financial dilemmas due to a spouses spending habits. I always ask people in that situation if they "knew their wife was addicted to shopping" or that their "husband had expensive tastes before their marriage". They inevitably say,"yes". My next question is, "why did you marry them then?" There are many answers to that,"I thought that I could change him", "she was hot" or "I thought he/she would change when they got married."
People can and do change, but it doesn't just magically happen. While we must contend with imperfections that will exist in our spouses, or employees, it does not mean that we should not use some wisdom in these situations. Have you been in Fabien's shoes? It might be better to offer one's friendship to such a person rather than be in a dating situation with them. Fabien is very practical and knowledgeable in matters of finance but thus far, Ines really has not taken any of his advice. What does that tell you?
Fabien and Dr. Hoffmann are both caring men who are always willing to lend a helping hand whenever possible. However, Ines and Michelle do not wish to be helped. In those cases we as Christians have to be willing to accept their "fruit" as it is and commit the matter to prayer. It does not mean that we should allow people to be in a position to unsettle our family life or that of our workplace. Invite the person to Church, tell them about Jesus. Hopefully new seeds can be planted in their life and from those seeds, good fruit may grow!
* names have been changed,
A lab manager I knew brushed aside the "fruit" right in front of him on Michelle's* Linkedin profile. It showed that she hadn't stayed in one position very long in her ten year career. She had credentials from a top-rated University and had what seemed to be decent references in her past employment. She explained on her interview that she has done quite a bit of world travel but she was ready to settle down as her daughter got ready to start kindergarten.
Something had not seemed right to Dr. Hoffmann* but he chose to ignore those feelings and hired Michelle anyway. Later on, Dr. Hoffmann told me that he should have explored further before hiring Michelle. It turned out that Michelle had a major drinking problem. Michelle's previous employers chose not to disclose this because Michelle begged them not to and assured them all that she was now a recovering alcoholic. She worked in a laboratory setting where her drinking could be dangerous to her and those around her. One day she came back from lunch and she had been drinking. When confronted by Dr. Hoffmann, she denied everything, even as she reeked of alcohol and slurred her words. She had to be fired for drinking on the job.
If you seek discernment concerning a man that you are interested in dating, ask yourself what are his "fruits?" Does he treat his family well? Maybe he can't help but look at other women even when he's out with you! Does he keep promises? Hard-worker or hardly working? All of these things show his "fruit." The same can be true when searching for Mrs. Right.
My husband's friend Fabien* is a case in point. My husband and Fabien recently had lunch at Teppanyaki restaurant in Zürich. The talk soon turned to Fabian's growing uneasiness concerning his girlfriends' spending habits. "Ines* spends every dime she makes. With the kind of money that she makes, she should be putting away $$$$$ per year!" He is also not comfortable with the amount of time her son spends on his devices. All these things are very different from the way Fabien runs his life. "Ye shall know them by their fruits!"
In my experience, many people end up in financial dilemmas due to a spouses spending habits. I always ask people in that situation if they "knew their wife was addicted to shopping" or that their "husband had expensive tastes before their marriage". They inevitably say,"yes". My next question is, "why did you marry them then?" There are many answers to that,"I thought that I could change him", "she was hot" or "I thought he/she would change when they got married."
People can and do change, but it doesn't just magically happen. While we must contend with imperfections that will exist in our spouses, or employees, it does not mean that we should not use some wisdom in these situations. Have you been in Fabien's shoes? It might be better to offer one's friendship to such a person rather than be in a dating situation with them. Fabien is very practical and knowledgeable in matters of finance but thus far, Ines really has not taken any of his advice. What does that tell you?
Fabien and Dr. Hoffmann are both caring men who are always willing to lend a helping hand whenever possible. However, Ines and Michelle do not wish to be helped. In those cases we as Christians have to be willing to accept their "fruit" as it is and commit the matter to prayer. It does not mean that we should allow people to be in a position to unsettle our family life or that of our workplace. Invite the person to Church, tell them about Jesus. Hopefully new seeds can be planted in their life and from those seeds, good fruit may grow!
* names have been changed,
Thursday, September 7, 2017
Wars and Rumors of Wars
I woke up from my jet-lagged haze and opened up my device to get the morning news. As I was in the final stages of packing some bags for my husband and I to go to Europe for five weeks, the whole Kim Jung-Un thing had begun to make the daily headlines. So when I arrived in Switzerland, I was eager to see what the latest news might be. Was my country at war? Would Kim Jung-un's missiles hit Japan, South Korea or even the island of Guam? Everyday, the headlines outline the crazy state of affairs that this madman in the Korean Peninsula foists upon us.
To a Christian the whole world stage has a different appearance. The difference is an added dimension. It is the spiritual dimension. So, we see the exact same events played out daily around the world, but we know that there is another more deadly and fiercer battle beneath the surface. That is the battle between the forces of good and evil, between God and the Devil. As many Christians read daily of the increasing natural disasters (Hurricane Harvey, Huricane Irma etc), the heightening possibilities of wars breaking out, it would seem prudent to review what the Bible says of such things.
"But thou, O Daniel, shut up the words, and seal the book, even to the time of the end: many shall run to and fro, and knowledge shall be increased" (Daniel 12:4). God gave a message to Daniel in the sixth century B.C. God indicated to Daniel and to generations reading His book the Bible, that a lot of things would happen before the day when the forces of God and evil would fight the last and ultimate battle. Many times, and in many way God chose to remind us in the Bible, that He wanted to share a chain of world events with us. Like a good parent He goes out of His way to share His wisdom with us.
The Bible was given to man from God to answer the basic questions of life like : who are we? how did we get here? and where are we going? It tells us about God's relationship with mankind from the beginning, and how that relationship unfolded over time. It teaches us about how we should live our life, including how to treat one another at home, in friendships, business and even what justice is. About a third of the Bible from the Book of Genesis to the Book of Revelation, is devoted to prophesy, i.e. the telling of future events.
Even though prophesy comprises about one-third of the Bible, many Churches, including my own, have failed to teach it over the years. If God is the good parent trying to teach us all that we should know, then shouldn't a godly church be doing this as well? This is why it is critical for us to include the Bible in our daily reading. Even though there is no excuse for churches not teaching the full and complete Word of God, we must understand that it is our responsibility to pursue the wisdom that God has for us. "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness" (2 Tim.3:16).
Therefore, let's see what the Word says about some current events. The Bible talks of future events and the ungoing battle between good and evil playing out in our daily lives and throughout time. It speaks of wars and natural disasters as being a part of our lives. But, there is a distinction biblically speaking, between the normal and the extra ordinary events pointing towards the end of days. The point of this is to equip us and prepare us for daily living and to prepare us for events to come. "What I say to one, I say unto you all, watch." (Mark 13:37)
"And ye shall hear of wars and rumors of wars, see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet. For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom; and there shall be famine and pestilences and earthquakes, in divers places. All these things are the beginning of sorrows."(Matt.24:6-8). According to the Bible, all of the things happening in our world at the moment, could very well indicate that we are getting closer to apocalyptic events. We hear of North Korea and Iran's expanding nuclear capabilities. We wonder if these nations will wage war on others? We see and hear of nations and kingdoms opposing one another every single day. Look at all the terrorist attacks in Europe and in the Middle East and understand that a day does not go by when people are not in conflict in a gigantic way.
As I write this, I have been praying daily for mercy as Hurricane Harvey, Irma, Katia and José have, and continue to have, an impact on many. Let us all do anything that we can to help those hurting after these disasters. Jesus in the above discourse interestingy tells us not to be troubled by all that we will hear and see in the coming times of trouble. He also tells us that a lot will happen but it will still not be the end of the world. In order not to be troubled we must daily pray and have faith in God and His promises of comfort and salvation. We should be watchful and aware of events. If you are in the path of a Hurricane you should do all that you can to follow safety guidelines. Even though I am in Switzerland, I asked a tree company to come and trim any deadwood at my home just in case the storm should head to New York while I am not there. I'm not even waiting to see if these tropical storms will barrel up the east coast before I trim my trees! How much more should we then prepare spiritually? In order to be at peace with life and its' uncertainties we need to choose to follow God. It may be time to make some changes to your life. If so don't wait. Living a good and virtuous life will give you peace, as the Bible describes that "surpasses all understanding."
To a Christian the whole world stage has a different appearance. The difference is an added dimension. It is the spiritual dimension. So, we see the exact same events played out daily around the world, but we know that there is another more deadly and fiercer battle beneath the surface. That is the battle between the forces of good and evil, between God and the Devil. As many Christians read daily of the increasing natural disasters (Hurricane Harvey, Huricane Irma etc), the heightening possibilities of wars breaking out, it would seem prudent to review what the Bible says of such things.
"But thou, O Daniel, shut up the words, and seal the book, even to the time of the end: many shall run to and fro, and knowledge shall be increased" (Daniel 12:4). God gave a message to Daniel in the sixth century B.C. God indicated to Daniel and to generations reading His book the Bible, that a lot of things would happen before the day when the forces of God and evil would fight the last and ultimate battle. Many times, and in many way God chose to remind us in the Bible, that He wanted to share a chain of world events with us. Like a good parent He goes out of His way to share His wisdom with us.
The Bible was given to man from God to answer the basic questions of life like : who are we? how did we get here? and where are we going? It tells us about God's relationship with mankind from the beginning, and how that relationship unfolded over time. It teaches us about how we should live our life, including how to treat one another at home, in friendships, business and even what justice is. About a third of the Bible from the Book of Genesis to the Book of Revelation, is devoted to prophesy, i.e. the telling of future events.
Even though prophesy comprises about one-third of the Bible, many Churches, including my own, have failed to teach it over the years. If God is the good parent trying to teach us all that we should know, then shouldn't a godly church be doing this as well? This is why it is critical for us to include the Bible in our daily reading. Even though there is no excuse for churches not teaching the full and complete Word of God, we must understand that it is our responsibility to pursue the wisdom that God has for us. "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness" (2 Tim.3:16).
Therefore, let's see what the Word says about some current events. The Bible talks of future events and the ungoing battle between good and evil playing out in our daily lives and throughout time. It speaks of wars and natural disasters as being a part of our lives. But, there is a distinction biblically speaking, between the normal and the extra ordinary events pointing towards the end of days. The point of this is to equip us and prepare us for daily living and to prepare us for events to come. "What I say to one, I say unto you all, watch." (Mark 13:37)
"And ye shall hear of wars and rumors of wars, see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet. For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom; and there shall be famine and pestilences and earthquakes, in divers places. All these things are the beginning of sorrows."(Matt.24:6-8). According to the Bible, all of the things happening in our world at the moment, could very well indicate that we are getting closer to apocalyptic events. We hear of North Korea and Iran's expanding nuclear capabilities. We wonder if these nations will wage war on others? We see and hear of nations and kingdoms opposing one another every single day. Look at all the terrorist attacks in Europe and in the Middle East and understand that a day does not go by when people are not in conflict in a gigantic way.
As I write this, I have been praying daily for mercy as Hurricane Harvey, Irma, Katia and José have, and continue to have, an impact on many. Let us all do anything that we can to help those hurting after these disasters. Jesus in the above discourse interestingy tells us not to be troubled by all that we will hear and see in the coming times of trouble. He also tells us that a lot will happen but it will still not be the end of the world. In order not to be troubled we must daily pray and have faith in God and His promises of comfort and salvation. We should be watchful and aware of events. If you are in the path of a Hurricane you should do all that you can to follow safety guidelines. Even though I am in Switzerland, I asked a tree company to come and trim any deadwood at my home just in case the storm should head to New York while I am not there. I'm not even waiting to see if these tropical storms will barrel up the east coast before I trim my trees! How much more should we then prepare spiritually? In order to be at peace with life and its' uncertainties we need to choose to follow God. It may be time to make some changes to your life. If so don't wait. Living a good and virtuous life will give you peace, as the Bible describes that "surpasses all understanding."
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