Saturday, December 22, 2018

My First Missions Trip - Part 1

One year ago, I was invited to a bible study in Westchester County, N.Y. I decided to attend their Church Service as well. That service featured several congregants just returning from an Overseas Ministry Trip. They were all extremely moved as they described their experiences with children in three schools/group homes.

I had a profound feeling that I would be on that church's next fall ministry trip.  So profound, that I told my husband that I thought God wanted me on the next fall trip. So, exactly one year later, I was leaving from JFK International Airport on a big adventure.

Despite the sense of divine inspiration, when asked to join the missions trip, I did have some reservations. Firstly, it had been a while since I had done any children or teen ministry work.  Would I be up to the physical demands of this trip? What did I have to offer these children?  Could I be of help to the missions team?

I never say "yes" to anything so important without first devoting some time to prayer. I told God all that I was feeling. I told Him that perhaps there were those who were more spiritually mature than I.  As I cried out to God I realized how really ill-equipped I was for this trip and mission.  It became clear to me that if I were to go on this trip, it would truly magnify the Lord and I would have to utterly depend upon Him as my source.

The weeks before my trip, I spiritually prepared myself for battle by praying and studying the Bible.  I also met and spoke with the people who would be traveling with me. I learned that the head of the Ministry Team had been visiting this destination twice a year for the past twenty years. She described the trip to be something like a vacation bible school.

For those of you not familiar with that concept, vacation bible school is a children's program run in many churches during the summer months. It is a fun-filled week of games, singing, and bible study. The vacation bible school can be simple or very elaborate.  Shows can be put on or not.  I have seen snacks or even theme related lunches served.  There is usually a fun theme that the children can explore and relate to such as, African animals, or space travel.  The list is endless. Whatever the theme, the process always connects back to a godly concept.

I was asked to prepare two devotions for the missions team and a lesson for the children.  The  themes came to me immediately and I strongly felt Gods' divine hand directing me.  I asked the Missions leader to allow me to do the first devotion and the last devotion.  I wanted to focus on two things. At the beginning of the trip I wanted to emphasize that we as Christians must remember to always be a body of Christ.  That is, we should act like a body ought to with Jesus as the brains of the group and each person conforming to the role that they were made for.

In order to be of use to the children we must resolve to act as a well-oiled machine.  We who were from vastly different cultures and spoke different languages had come together with the goal of helping those in need.  This is no small feat considering how fractured this world is.  Many men and women can not get along in a marriage very long before they decide to call it quits.  Many people work against each other in their workplace or even when supposedly working together for a humanitarian goal.

Not to mention the fact that the country which I was visiting had a history of relational problems with my country, the United States.  No, without Jesus there is no way any of the people who ended up going on this trip would ever have any reason to be together. Men and women of different ages and from very different walks of life.  Yet, here we all were, gathered together in an hotel room about two and a half hours outside of the country's capital praying and preparing to meet and minister to the children.

I woke up the first morning that I was to meet the children with no sign of jet-lag nor symptoms of the allergies that I had a few days before my departure from New York.  My trip began with little miracles like that and continued thus.  The next miracle was the seventeen year old girl who was to be my translator.  Her name was Vanya*.   Vanya was on a break from school before she continues on to the University next year.  She was recruited to assist on this trip by our main foreign partner on this trip, Senya*.

Senya and Meg* warmly greeted one another at the airport, like the old friends they were. Friends whose bonds were created by their shared love of the Lord and mission to make a difference for the kids who had touched their heartstrings some twenty years ago. The kids may have changed but not the ungoing needs of those group homes.  Senya handled all the ******* side details and Meg was his American counterpart.  What were some of those details?

On his part, Senya works with the three group homes to arrange a visitation schedule.  He then makes our hotel and dinner reservations.  He helps us shop at the local markets to get the best prices for all the supplies that we buy for the children.  This included school supplies, toiletries and daily lunch food that we brought to share with the children.  He translated all of our sermons.  That would have been enough but, Senya did much more on this trip. He was more like a father to everyone.

He worked harder than anyone no matter what the task was. It could be to make gift bags for the kids (which we handed out on the last day).  He jumped out of our van to open or close gates whenever necessary like a man half his age. He knew every hotel and staff member of the homes and fostered godly relations with them all.  Best of all, Senya truly loved the children that he served.  He visited them regularly and consistently.  This was not easy for him due to poor health and travel difficulties.



NEXT WEEK: My First Missions Trip - Part 2 - Meet the Kids!
*the story is true but the names are changed.
*******- the country that I visited.


Sunday, October 21, 2018

Be Ye Separate (Young Adult Edition)

There are three books in the Bible that got me through my teen years. Proverbs- because it helped me to understand the difference between right and wrong. Psalms- because it comforted me through all my trials and tribulations and First Peter- because it helped give me practical advise on how to live the Christian life.

Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled: set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”  Since you call on a Father who judges each man’s work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear. For you know that is was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake.  Through him you believe in God who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God.  For, now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart.  For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.  For, “ All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord stands forever.” And this is the word that was preached to you.  Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.- 1 Peter 1: 13 - 1 Peter 2:3

Today, I will talk about First Peter chapter one verses 13 through chapter two verse 3. In chapter 1 verse thirteen Peter tells us, “PREPARE YOUR MINDS FOR ACTION.” How practical is that? Sometimes we go to school and someone will tease us, perhaps for being a Christian. Someone might ask us to do something that we know is not right today. Peter tells us to prepare ourselves for the spiritual battles that will surely happen. ”Can I cheat off your test Katya?” “Nobody is looking let’s steal that phone Oleg?”

So, we have to mentally and spiritually prepare to say”no” when someone wants to gossip and make fun of a classmate. We have to be mentally and spiritually prepared to say “no” each and every time that we are offered drugs. We have to understand that when we are tempted to sleep with someone outside of Holy Matrimony we must challenge that thought as soon as it comes to our mind by praying and deciding to follow Jesus instead of our feelings. First Peter at its’ core teaches us how to develop a holy lifestyle. I personally think he was writing for teenagers.

Peter shows us two ways that we can develop a holy lifestyle:

1. FOCUS ON JESUS :To do the right thing, we must keep focused on Christ. Continuing in First Peter it says, “Set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.”  We need to have the understanding that Jesus has wonderful plans for our future better than we can plan for ourselves. You will see those plans unfold over time. What kind of job will you do when you get out of school or who will you marry? You have to be patient. Peter knew something about staying completely focused on Christ. Jesus told Peter that he could walk on water. You can read that story in Matthew 14: 22-33 or in Mark or John’s Gospel. Peter was walking on water. He was doing it, until he started focusing on his fears and not on Jesus. Then, suddenly he started to drown. Staying focused on Jesus means we won’t drown in bad things that are happening around us.

Focusing on Jesus also means remembering all that Christ is and all that He has done for mankind. He is not a distant God. He came to earth and lived and struggled the way we do. He died in our place. How do we respond to that. We decide to live a good life and appreciate all that our God has done for us.

2. OBEY GODS LAWS :Verse 14 says “As obedient children, do not conform to evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.” Maybe you didn’t grow up in a Christian home. You didn’t know it was wrong to curse. You saw people around you getting drunk, so you thought that was okay. But, now you know better.

Be honest in prayer with God and with yourself about the things that tempt you. Each one of us is different. Some of us struggle with gossip, or greed. Some of us struggle with jealousy or anger. God can empower us to overcome whatever our shortcomings are.  Obeying God’s laws or doing things in a godly way helps us to stay focused on the right things such as doing our homework, sports or other good hobbies.

In verse 17, it tells us that we should live our “lives as strangers.” What does that mean?? Being a Christian is being different in a very good way. It means being part of the solution, not the problem. It means instead of lying, we are telling the truth. We aren’t ganging up to bully other kids. It means we’re nor wasting our time looking at bad images on our phone. Verse 22 says that obeying God purifies us and creates a heart that can genuinely love. This means you will have better friendships and relationships with teachers and family. Eventually, if you are a godly person it will help ensure that you have a good relationship with a boss or even a husband or wife.Wow, a lot of good things happen when you choose to obey God.

My parents were two poor emigrants to the United States. My family was kind of messed up. They got divorced when I was 13 yrs old. They weren’t really there for me in many ways. I had to make it on my own. But, luckily I was not alone because I had God in my life. By focusing on Jesus and obeying God’s laws I was able to stay out of trouble in high school. Kids offered me drugs but I knew that, “my body was a temple of the Holy Spirit’-1 Corinthians 6:19, so I said, ‘no.’

I didn’t know it until much later but, following God allowed me to focus on being a good student. I was the first person in my family to go to university. I hiked, and biked and did craft projects. God gave me an ability in science so that I could get a job that I enjoyed. I prayed for a godly husband and I am very happy in my marriage. I did not get a divorce like my parents did. What will following God help you to achieve?

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Good Marriage Samaritan

Here is an excerpt from a recent ladies ministry event that I spoke at.

I've learned first hand how God can use people to touch lives. Here is the story of two people.  I call this the story of the Good Marriage Samaritan. Vera* was one of the very first friends that my mother made when she emigrated to the United States from Europe as a young child. After my mother passed away, Vera was like a second mother to me. As time went by, we grew very close. I visited her and made sure to phone her regularly. She had given up driving, so I made an effort to take her food shopping from time to time and drive her places that she needed to go. We enjoyed craft projects and doing puzzles together. She was much better at them than I was.

One day, on one such visit, we were clipping coupons in her living room. (Vera was a prodigious coupon collector and practically spent nothing on her grocery bill). Anyway, it seemed quite out of the blue when she told me that she had something on her mind that she needed to talk to me about. Something that had bothered her for a long time. She told me that when she and my mother were young, that my mother had came to her seeking marital advise on a number of occasions. Vera told me that although she had attended church and knew that she should help people in need, that she completely failed to give my mother any piece of helpful advise.

Furthermore, she told me that she resented my mother even calling her about this when she had been so busy with her own life. After all, Vera reminded me, that at the time she had a job, and six children to raise. So, she reasoned, she had no time for my mother's problems. At that time in her life, she thought that going to church regularly and occasionally helping at church events was all that was required, but now, she thought better of that. She now believed she might have made a difference in the life of my family. Vera wanted my forgiveness. I readily gave her that forgiveness, even as I struggled with the meaning of it all. I wondered why so many Christians failed to have true charity in their hearts at moments like this. I wondered why we have such superficial relationships and fail to truly make a difference for Christ.

Then, there was Dan*. Dan was a partner in an antique business close to a popular Christian retreat center in New Jersey. He was a divorced father of two and former police officer.  Dan saw his marriage fail as the pressures of his law enforcement career mounted. It was after that divorce, in the process of picking up the pieces of his broken life that he became a Christian. His whole life changed as he started to study the Bible and begin to see what God's plan for his life had been. He started to come to terms with his failure to be a godly husband and how those mistakes had cost him his marriage. Out of this, grew a personal crusade to share the message of godly marriages and to help those struggling in this area. He quickly became an expert on everything the Bible had to say about marriage and shared it with everyone who came into his antique store.

The summer that I met Dan, I had rented a house in the vicinity so that my family and I could immerse ourselves in various Christian activities.  My teenage daughter's rebellion had taken a toll on our family and especially my marriage.  God must have used my love of antiques to bring me together with Dan. In the most godly way imaginable, as I went to pay for my purchases, Dan offered me a free CD set that he had made about what the Bible said about marriage. "Would you like me to put that in your bag Ma'am?" At that moment, I felt like I was in some sort of alternative universe! "Yes," I said. Just when I needed help the most, someone reached out to me.  He helped save my marriage.

Who do you think is the Good Marriage Samaritan? 







*the names are changed, the stories are not.

Sunday, September 23, 2018

Christian Wife Reviews "Unbroken: Path to Redemption"

Another movie has come out based upon the life of Louis Zamparini entitled, Unbroken-Path to Redemption."  Some of you may remember that Angelina Jolie directed a film called Unbroken back in 2014. Perhaps you read the book Unbroken by Pulitzer Prize winning author Laura Hillenbrand, which was on the New York Times Bestseller list for 108 weeks back in 2010.  After all that, you may ask yourself why see this movie?

Here's why. Unbroken: Path To Redemption is a well-acted film depicting the power of Christ to transform a life. So few Christian movies ever make it to the big screen. As a result of that, Christians do not often get validation or mirroring of their lives through film. In Unbroken: Path to Redemption, you get all that and more. The film has a first rate cast and director who faithfully portrays this Christian story.

For those of you unfamiliar with this true story, Louis Zamparini was the child of Italian parents who moved to the United States. He was bullied as a child and then grew into a bully himself. His behavioral problems included smoking, drinking and stealing. He did not take correction well and even flattened a teachers' tire for trying to discipline him. He had set sail on a clear course for the Department of Corrections when something intervened. That was, his God-given talent to run.

Those close to him, including his older brother Pete, a caring police officer, and some pretty high school girls eventually influenced him to join the track team. The discipline and routine involved in this sport rerouted his time and energy to a more positive direction. He soon began to thrive. He was routinely winning races and was dubbed the "Torrance Tornado" by the local media. He set a high school track record with a 4:21:2 minute mile. His high school record was unbeaten for nineteen years.

Louis received a track scholarship to the University of Southern California and was even invited to join the 1936 United States Olympic Team. He was the youngest person on that team, finishing 8th in the Berlin Olympics with a sub-60 second final lap. His performance created a buzz suggesting he would compete in the next Olympics and win with a 4 minute mile. But the winds of war changed all that, and as with many a young life during wartime, Louis would never be the same.

He dropped out of college and joined the Air Force where he served as a bombardier in the South Pacific. He saw action and almost lost his life on many occasions including surviving a plane crash and being lost at sea for 47 days. The worst was yet to come. Louis Zamparini's raft drifted into Japanese territory. He and a fellow crewmate were taken as prisoners of war by the Japanese where they were subjected to cruel and sadistic treatment.

This movie begins in the period immediately following Louis' release from a Japanese prisoner of war camp. He struggles to return to a normal civilian life. As a result of dropping out of college to enlist in the Air Force, he had no clear career path, and he still had the dream of a future Olympic run. He was confused.  However, the biggest struggle he had was the post traumatic stress disorder which consumed him. Even with love and support from both family and friends, Louis was full of anger and pain. He did not yet know the Lord, nor did he wish to (as our movie opens).

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a cruel thing. Louis had successfully survived torture, starvation and unimaginable deprivation. Yet, now safely returned to his country and family he began to relive those nightmare events.  The movie passionately tells the story of how the Lord healed and redeemed him and gave new meaning and direction to his life. In so doing, every film goer is challenged to contemplate what God can do in their life. What do you need God to heal and redeem in your life? Go see this movie, I promise you won't be disappointed!




Saturday, September 15, 2018

To Date Or Not To Date?

To date or not to date is an important question for any Christian single. The time to ask this question is before saying yes to the date. This is crucial if you want to stay on track in your walk with the Lord. The stakes are high. I have seen many a godly man or woman go down the rabbit hole of insanity when they step into the wrong relationship. Why does this happen?

One of the things that seem to universally apply to these situations is faulty thinking and confusion about what the Bible teaches on dating. Add to that, the powerful emotions that we can feel towards another person and we can essentially understand why this occurs so often. It is crucial that we anticipate these circumstances so that we are not controlled by our emotions and have a Christian road map before we start our dating journey.

Take Nicole* for example. She was at a good place in her life when she met Eric.* She attended a Church that she loved and had just started a catering business. Eric had visited her church with his good friend Jim,* from a Westchester, N.Y. kayaking club. Jim had a lot of struggles with his faith, where women were concerned. Although he read his bible everyday and attended worship regularly, he had struggled to change his sexual lifestyle after he had accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior.

Eric, voted for Bernie Saunders in the last United States Presidential election. He was raised by two thoroughly progressive Westchester parents who portrayed Christianity as extinct and unnecessary. He had literally never met a Christian in his life, one who admitted it anyway. That is until he met Jim. Jim was a successful businessman, kayaker and personable fellow. Eric liked the way that Jim took him under his wing and introduced him around the kayaking club. As a newcomer to the group, he could see that Jim was a sort of informal leader at that club.

Before long, they were fast friends. These men found that they had a lot in common. They liked similar cuisine, enjoyed the same hobbies and both had an eye for the ladies. So, it was quite a shock when Eric found out that Jim was a Christian. But shock eventually turned to curiosity and this caused Eric to accept an invitation to attend a church social. It was here that Eric met Nicole. Jim introduced them and it was an immediate and powerful connection for each of them. The proverbial love at first sight.

But, what does the Bible say about these things? The Bible has an array of stories depicting some wise and unwise love connections that were as instantly combustible as this. Think Samson and Delilah, or Jacob and Rachel. Without any commitment to God, Eric instantly decided that he would attend church next Sunday. He had to, just to see Nicole again. This continued for a short time until Eric got the courage to ask Nicole out on a date. Nicole instantly agreed without any surety of his commitment to God.

As she dressed for her date, she had a nervous feeling that Eric might not be a Christian. In their conversations at church coffee hour, she recalled that he had voiced many ambivalent feelings regarding the sermons that he had heard by Pastor Bob.* At first, she thought he was a new believer whom she wanted to encourage. But now, as she prepared for her date she wondered if she was just hoping that this was true because she wanted it to be true. Her mind wandered to the often quoted dating advice for Christians of not being unequally matched with an unbeliever.

She didn't have time to think any further because the doorbell was ringing and it was Eric. But what about this quote? In its entirety it reads: Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?- 2 Corinthians 6:14-15. This passage has imagery and principles that begin to create a godly roadmap for dating.

Let me start by saying this passage does not preclude relationships by Christians with non-Christians.  The emphasis is on the situations which may compromise our spiritual path as we choose to follow Jesus. Dating definitely qualifies as a situation where we will see cautionary road signs. In the first verse of 2 Corinthians 14 we see the imagery of animals who are tied together by a device placed around their neck. This device enables them to work together in the job of plowing a field. As we think of dating, it is paramount to recognize how we will be tied together with that person, just like two animals brought together to pull the plow.

Many a marriage dissolves because two people were not equally pulling their weight in situations, such as childrearing, finances or doing chores. When two people are Christians, it connects them to the truth of God's plan for a righteous relationship. The Word of God teaches us about a covenant love. A love that serves, that stays committed and works through the issues that will arise over time. We learn that God's love for us mirrors what our love for one another should be like. We are given the strength to live this out through the Holy Spirit.

When you date a non-Christian, the vision that each person has for that relationship will at some point diverge. It will be as if you are pulling that plow all by yourself. Maybe, your partner is just sitting down in the field, or decides that he wants to go in another direction. 2 Corinthians 6:14 notes that righteousness and lawlessness have nothing in common. Lawlessness is described in the Bible this way, all "sin is lawlessness"- 1 John 3:4. Your partner will eventually tempt you to do something which you know is a sin, because they are in the lawless state of unbelief.

Second Corinthians pulls no punches in its endeavor to warn us of the impending danger of dating outside of our faith when it asks, "what accord has Christ with Belial (Satan)?" While you may not think of your weekend date as Belial, (note: we are not Christ either), it dramatically portrays the different values that two people can bring to a union. Contemplate how impossible it would be for Christ and the Devil to work together and it may give you some idea of the lack of harmony which may occur.

As for Eric and Nicole, things didn't work out so great for them. Nicole could have saved herself a lot of heartache if she had just realized the help that the above scripture verses offered her and accepted the directive. Instead, she went down that rabbit hole of insanity and got caught in a maze of drama and pain. As time goes by, I hope that she learns from her mistake and realizes the wisdom of the Bible. I hope that we all do!


* the names are changed but the story is true.

Friday, August 31, 2018

God's Lens on Chronic Illness

Some people encounter circumstances in their life that are as bad as it gets. Poor health, for example. Such was the case with Mindy* and Larry*. Larry had health problems as long as he could remember. His parents even told him that he was kept in the hospital for a month after he was born. When he asked them what had been wrong with him, they were unable or unwilling to answer. Still, his health seemed stable until his mid-twenties. It was then that he developed a degenerative physical ailment. With a lifetime spent in and out of surgery, he has of late become depressed. His recent dual diagnosis of hip deterioration and diabetes has sent him spiraling into a place that he has been before, depression.

Mindy* has a lot to be grateful for. A loving husband, who directs their church choir. Three amazing adult children who love the Lord and assist their ailing mother whenever possible. But, life has not been easy for her. Just like Larry, Mindy has dealt with years and years of physical and mental health challenges. When we are in pain, or we see those we love in pain, we often struggle spiritually with the questions that are raised.

The question for a Christian is often, how can I see circumstances in my life through God's lens.The question of suffering is dealt with extensively throughout the Bible. There is much comfort and many answers to those questions to be gleaned in God's Holy Scriptures. I think of Larry and Mindy as I read the Book of Job.

The Book of Job is one of the oldest books in the Bible. The fact that the Bible tackles the painful issues of our earthly existence goes far to explain the loving nature of our God. We have a God who loves and cares for us. In Job, we see a man who has suffered great physical and emotional pain. Job says in Chapter 7 of that book in verses two and three, "Like a slave who longs for the shadow, and like a hireling who looks for his wages, so I am allotted months of emptiness, and nights of misery are apportioned to me."

Never be ashamed to discuss or explore the painful truths that may exist in your life. The Bible encourages us to do that. Take Job for example. In the forty-two chapters of that book we have layed out before us (in a nutshell) all that can go wrong in a life and some of the thoughts and feelings that emerge when we are confronted with suffering.

As we open this book, we get a rare opportunity to be privy to the affairs of the heavenly realm. Chapters one and two detail the ancient and continual battle that is fought between God and Satan for our heart, mind, and soul. As a result of that battle, sin and disease have entered the world. We learn that the realm of Satan is to tempt and convince us to abandon the one true God. As we continue on in the book we learn that many disasters befall Job including financial loss, death in the family and painful health issues.

I really relate to the next part of the book which records a series of conversations between Job and his friends. These conversations remind me of similar discussions I have had with those close to me, as I struggled to understand some of the bitter occurences which have come my way. It appears to me that God gives us a behind-the-scenes glimpse into the battle between Him and Satan in the Book of Job so that we may have a deeper understanding of our earthly problems.

Job cries out to God and pours his heart out to his friends in an attempt to find some meaning behind all that has happened. He looks for comfort from his friends but, as is so often the case, those around him judge and blame him. Still, I am touched as I see this group of friends stand by Job in all his troubles. This Book presents a picture of humanity as we grapple with the basic questions about the meaning of suffering. We don't fully get it because we don't have the full knowledge of that heavily realm that we are (here) given a glimpse of.

Yet, we learn in the Book of Job that God is fully in control. He is a wholly good, redemptive and trustworthy God. Job's suffering is not meaningless to God and was not God's plan when He created the world. Pain can cause a spiritual crisis, besides all else, and we must be careful not to slip in our relationship with God. We also must try to maintain contact with people that we love and keeping on working out the relationship issues that exist between people in our life. Chronic pain is difficult for those suffering with it, as well as those caring for people with it. Remember, just like with Job's friends, sometimes those closest to us don't understand what we are going through and they give us wrong advise. It is important that we be patient in such circumstances.

We must go to God frequently in prayer as we try to manage chronic health concerns. Only God can give us the strength to hold on during times of crisis. Like Job, I hope we can all take a look at the bigger picture, understanding that there are spiritual truths that must not be take for granted. God bless you all.




* the names have been changed.



Friday, August 24, 2018

A Tale Of Two Retreats

You can tell a lot about a person's character when you go away with them for the weekend. You can also learn a lot about a church. This is the tale of two churches that I have considered attending. The choice was clear after attending a Women's Retreat with each of them.

Lancaster, Pennsylvania is a big destination for church groups. There are a number of reasons why that is so. 2 Corinthians 6:17-“Therefore, come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord.” Firstly, it is the home of a group of Christians who are so determined to follow God closely that they have eschewed much of modern technology and even contemporary clothing in an attempt to stay true to their faith. The group is called the Amish. As a result of this, a Christian friendly culture has sprung up in the area, including the much beloved theater known as the Sight and Sound Theater. 

Here, at Sight and Sound, you can see biblical stories come to life in lavish stage productions. So, it is no surprise that each of the churches in question, let's call them Church A and Church B would choose that vicinity for a weekend trip. The destination choice however, was the last thing these two churches had in common. I learned pretty quickly that people can mask quite a lot when you just see them for a bible study and a church service once a week. Take Tawanda* for example.

I thought I was up to the task when the Pastor's wife announced that she had a special assignment for me. She had chosen a roommate for me on our upcoming women's retreat to Pennsylvania. She told me that she was putting me together with a lady that she felt I might be of some assistance to. Did my pride at being invested with this commission by the Pastor's wife contribute to my upcoming disaster? Maybe. Proverbs 16: 18-“Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.”

Weeks went by and I did not think much about what Pastor Mickey's* wife had said, until the first night of the retreat. I had arrived early that Friday so I wouldn't be driving on some country road when it was pitch black. Juanita* had arrived early too. Juanita was a sweet, caring and organized woman. I was not surprised to see her sitting in a rocking chair on the porch as I drove up the motel driveway. She was not the type to be late.

After check-in, I went to join Juanita and chat with her as we awaited the arrival of the other women coming to be part of this weekend retreat. A very strange conversation ensued where Juanita told me how she had previously had an awful experience at a women's retreat due to a bad roommate situation. She described tantrums, inconsiderate and thoughtless deeds as well as language that is unbecoming to a Christian.

I told her that I was very sorry that this had been her experience. I went on to explain how this should not be happening at a Christian retreat. Famous last words right? I must admit that I was curious so I asked her if the lady in question would be on this trip? She replied,"oh yes she will be here, but that is why I insisted on rooming with Mary!" Mary* was a kind and holy little old lady who was as mature as a Christian can get. I am not kidding when I tell you that I instantly knew what was in store for me, and I was not wrong. Tawanda, the awful lady that Juanita had spoken of, arrived late that Friday evening after we had all had dinner and the main speaker had begun her presentation.

She made what you would call an entrance with all the drama that one would expect from a Bette Davis movie. It felt like being on the set of All About Eve. When Tawanda entered the room someone should have said, "Fashion your seat belts, I think we're in for a bumpy ride." She exclaimed loudly in the back of the room : I'm exhausted. Is there anything to eat? I'll get a headache if I don't eat! On and on she went.

There is no restaurant in a motel and when Tawanda found out that she had to drive down the block to get a meal, she absolutely demanded that one of the ladies leave the event which had begun, and have dinner with her. I heard this whole conversation from a seat I had chosen in a front row near the main speaker. It was that loud. It doesn't get more disruptive than that unless you were rooming with me that night.

Tawanda insisted on staying up late and talking in the room while I was trying to sleep. There was no need to do that because the Pastor’s wife had said that a conference room was available if anyone wanted to talk or pray at any time, and of course there were seats in the lobby. I reminded her of all these facts. I told her that I wanted to get up and do the early morning prayer time. She did not care one iota about my needs. I drifted in and out of sleep and when I awoke once there was nudity on the television screen. This was the last straw. Matthew 18:15 (NIV)- “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.”

I told her that since I had brought the matter to her and we could not settle it that I would bring in  another lady to assist us. Matthew 18:16- states “But, if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every ‘matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’” I was completely exhausted and I was hoping that I could find another place to sleep. As Providence would have it, the Pastor's wife was sitting in the lobby and inquired ‘what was going on?’ When I informed her of the matter, she was visibly overwhelmed. She explained that she was up late trying to prepare for her presentation for tomorrow's events. She told me that she just could not handle this and that she had severe anxiety about her upcoming presentation .

I honestly felt bad for her, but does this seem like mature church leadership to you? There were other instances of immaturity in this Westchester Church. The kind of immaturity that the early Church Fathers worked hard to rectify. A church can preach the Word of God, do some great outreach but can really lack some things, such as mature leadership, and fruit of the Holy Spirit.

The Church that I now call home reminds me why it is important to have some wisdom when choosing a church family. Fruit of the Holy Spirit was apparent at my recent Women's Event. The ladies had arranged a trip to the newest show at the Sight and Sound Theatre and I was anxious to see it. The thought did cross my mind that it might be time to give up religious retreats after my last experience.

However, I prayed long and hard concerning this trip and decided to go. From the beginning of this trip to the end, I was touched with the kindness people showed to me and to one another. It was always,"do you need help with that?" Or, "what would you like to do?" As far as respectful roommates go, these ladies could not have been more thoughtful or godly. For example, Florence* asked me "what time I would like to take a shower" and "before I take a shower, would you like to use the bathroom?" The kindness heaped upon me over that time that we spent together, melted my heart. These were not just women who could talk the talk, they could walk the walk of spiritual maturityIt was wonderful.

They were like a hive of bees when it came to sharing the work, splitting the bill, or helping those in our group who were infirmed. A good church will do much to heal us and that was apparent as I shared a weekend trip with these ladies. The joy that we had in that weekend did a lot to lift some of the burden of Wendy's * chronic illness from her and it did much to help me forgive and forget all I had experienced on that other retreat.





* the names have been change.











Thursday, August 9, 2018

Catfish-The Westchester Edition

When people are experiencing transitions in their lives, that is when they are especially vulnerable to being exploited by people purporting to be something they are not. Sometimes the fraud can go on for quite some time before it is discovered, especially when the relationship is of an online variety.

Catfish is defined by Urban Dictionary as "someone who pretends to be someone they are not online to create false identities particularly to pursue deceptive online romances." The amount of people being catfished is gigantic. Let's look at some cases right here in Westchester County, N.Y.
Proverbs7:19 gives us some insight into motivation: "For my husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey!"

Kylie* felt she had no other option but to divorce her husband when he was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. His out of control spending habits happened to be one of his first presenting symptoms. By the time he was in treatment those spending habits had created a mountain of debt. Always the responsible one, Kylie took on a second and eventually a third job.

As the tedium turned into her new normal she found solace in the new relationship that she began to develop with Martin*. You may wonder how Kylie had time for dating considering her busy schedule? We all wondered that too. All I know, is that one day she showed me a profile that she had created online with a popular dating app. Soon after that, Kylie met Martin.
Proverbs 7:21"With her enticing speech she caused him to yield, with her flattering lips she seduced him."

It was not long before she and he had exchanged phone numbers and hooked up on Facebook. Her mood seem to lift and I saw the first signs of recovery since her divorce. It seemed that she lived for those moments during her day when she had breaks at her job and was able to check her phone for his messages. At first those who loved her were very happy for her but, when weeks turned into months and she failed to meet him in person, something seemed awry.

Then there was Jerry* from Bible Study whose wife of forty years passed away rather suddenly.  He walked around as one "shell-shocked" for the better part of a year. As his grief started to lift we thought that he was progressing, until he announced one day that he had "met someone." Nothing that we knew about Jerry prepared us for the moment when he proceeded to open up his social media account and show us a picture of a very blond,very buxom,twenty-five year old women hailing from Sweden.
Psalm 119:11-12 "Your Word I have hidden in my heart. That I might not sin against You."

He told us that they were in love and that she wanted to marry him and come live in the United States. In an even further departure from his usual character, we learned that Jerry did not give a darn what his three grown sons thought about the matter. Could it be that Jerry's grief had turned into insanity?

What of Tommy* who moved to my town on a job relocation? Young, and handsome he hailed from Merry Olde England and had one of those British accents that is a guaranteed chic magnet. However, Tommy was shy. In addition, his long hours on a very demanding job left him little time for much else. He did keep in touch with friends in England via social media. One day, not thinking much of it, he began to exchange messages with someone he did not know who claimed to be a friend of a friend. 
Psalm 119:37- "Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things, and revive me in Your way."

Although Tommy should have known better, he began a long-distance relationship with this stranger. Even though they never met, it quickly became a highly charged emotional affair. In the midst of planning a visit to New York, apparently Carly* had some serious car trouble over in England and just needed a small loan to pay for the repairs. Tommy wired her some money and took care of her needs. Such was his trust.

Each of the above people were going through difficult times. Divorce, mental illness, grief, and loneliness can all take their toll but, be careful when you decide to pursue an online relationship. Kylie, Jerry and Tommy eventually had to cope with the truth that they had been catfished. Kylie's bubble was burst when a woman claiming to be Martin's wife contacted her. Suddenly it all made sense. He kept making excuses about why he couldn't meet with her. He was also virtually unreachable during any holiday. MARRIED!
Proverbs 31:30- "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman (or man) who fears the Lord is to be praised."

The elders at Church had to gently break the news to poor Jerry that the woman he thought he was going to marry was a scam artist. They were also able to prove that the pictures which she posted online were of somebody else. He was devastated. Fortunately, Jerry had not sent her any money yet. Tommy was not so lucky. He had ended up bailing his lady friend out of quite a few jams before he found out the truth.

The scary thing in all these cases was how all consuming these online relationships became. In all cases these people ignored those around them and instead chose their online mate. Kylie had a young daughter who needed help after all that had happened. Jerry had friends at church and sons who really loved him. Tommy did not have to face his new surroundings nor challenge himself to adapt.
Psalm 119:9- "How can a young man keep his way spotless? By keeping your words."

Friends and family, who were physically present and available, were tossed aside in exchange for the false reality of a virtual interaction. The relationships may have been fake, but let me assure you that the pain was not! We must commit ourselves to applying biblical wisdom as we think about sharing our life and our heart with those around us.
1 Peter 1:14-16- "as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written,"Be Holy, for I am holy."











* not their real name.


Sunday, July 29, 2018

Decreasing Your Child's Anxiety

Statistics seem to indicate increasing levels of anxiety among young people. There are so many things that seem to be responsible for this. For many, the fast-paced and demanding nature of their academic world is one cause. While in Zürich recently, I saw an example of this. Fabrice* and Oliver* were busy preparing to take the all important Swiss exam for entrance to the Gymnasium (High School).

Over the past two years, I have seen the increased work that has been thrust upon them in order to prepare them for this test. When I saw them both in May, they appeared skinny and pale. Fabrice and Oliver are two very different boys from two very different families that we are acquainted with in Switzerland. Fabrice is outgoing and athletic. He enjoys art, music and soccer. Oliver is less outgoing and artistic but enjoys hiking, video games and reading.

As different as they are, they both seemed to have much in common this spring. They both seemed pre-occupied and anxious over their upcoming exams. They seemed less like twelve year old boys and more like stressed-out grown men. Fabrice seemed hyper and over-wrought while Oliver was moody and angry. Perhaps there is something in this story which you or someone that you know can relate to?

Of course it is vitally important to oversee our children's education and be concerned with helping them build skills and knowledge, but have we gone too far? The Bible does indeed command us to "train up a child in the way he should go"-Proverbs 22:6. This does include veering that child on a course towards being gainfully employed.

However, since the Bible represents the deep wisdom and guidance of God it tempers that role with the concept that we should, "seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."-Matthew 6:33. Placing God first in our lives helps us find perspective on everything else and then things will naturally fall into place.

Helping our children develop a relationship with God and his son Jesus will help them get in touch with the God-given talent that they possess. Why do we stress so much about these things when in reality God has equipped us with everything needed to find our place in the work world?

As we introduce our children to their creator God the story of how precious and how loved they are can go very far to help them understand the value which they are imbued with by a God who pronounces His creation as good. This will help them to remain strong as teachers or even test scores seek to define them as something other than what God created them to be. Their friends or even family can sometimes pronounce and declare them to be a “failure” or not “good enough” to enter that school or that profession.

But,when our children have God in their lives they can see deeper meaning in events such as a Gymnasium Exam. Often, those around us can fail to see our children’s talent. Sometimes, that talent is just beneath the surface and not quite ready to bloom. Don’t you think that we are expecting our kids to grow up too fast? God’s timing is always right.








* the names are changed.

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Me And The Witnesses

An interesting discussion occurred at a recent Bible Study in Zürich,Switzerland. This discussion caused me to revisit my experiences over the years with Jehovah's Witnesses and to explore some questions which have arisen. My husband's line of work has often brought him to Zürich. Sometimes,he travels alone but,when I accompany him,I am able to attend Bible Study while he is at work. What a blessing for both of us that we have found and attend the International Protestant Church while in the vicinity.

Whenever work takes us away from home or we are simply on vacation,finding a wonderful group of Bible believing Christians is always a marvelous thing.What a joy to worship God on His Holy Sabbath and spend time immersed in the study of His Word! It was at just such a group that I met Lily.* The Bible Study Group had already begun a study from the Book of Titus. The Book of Titus as I learned, gives us a lot of insight into the planting and establishing of churches, including some of the problems which can occur.

Paul had left Titus on the island of Crete to help the churches there in their next steps of Christian growth. Those steps included learning sound doctrine and installing mature Christian leadership to guide and teach the congregations. Paul, in his letter to Titus, detailed the polluting influences of mythology and other philosophies seeping in or being added to the Christian faith. He posits the importance of teaching sound Christian doctrine to correct these erroneous ideas.

As our groups explored some of the challenges of those early churches, it was very instructive of the challenges that still emerge in churches today and even within our small group. At every Bible Study you will find various people, some experiencing a challenge and all at differing levels of faith and knowledge. You see in microcosm just how important mature Christian leadership is in forming a mature and well-functioning body of Christ. Lily told me repeatedly that she considered small group bible studies to be the best place to ask questions. In point of fact, this was a day that Lily would prove that to be the case. The questions that emerged are of the type that I believe every Christian asks at some time or other. Lily was trying to clarify the concept of the Trinity.

One of the battlegrounds in the early Christian church was over the doctrine of the Trinity. Truly important questions emerged then regarding the very nature of who Christians were. Were they polytheists or monotheists? Is Jesus divine or just a man? Just where does this Holy Spirit fit in? These questions persist today and dramatically present themselves if you choose to explore the Jehovah Witness' belief system. Lily had done that at some point in her life, and I was able to see the challenges that she was facing as we studied without the Jehovah's Witness Bible, the New World Translation. I was concerned that some of those challenges might effect her salvation. I was very concerned. In my quest to answer some questions that she asked, I began to remember my own dabbling in the world of the Witnesses!

Jehovah Witnesses are mandated to spread their religion in a very regimented and demonstrable manner, namely door to door or on street corners. Their personal relationships, for the most part, are limited to only Jehovahs Witnesses therefore, for most of us, our only encounter with this group would be in that setting. I remember first encountering them as a child when my mother regularly took me out unto the big shopping districts of Brooklyn and Queens.

This religious group was especially plentiful in Brooklyn, and on many street corners you could encounter one or two people handing out their Watchtower magazine. My mother always took a magazine from them and would read it at home. As it was innocently lying on my living room coffee table, I often perused the story lines which included household tips, discussed family relationships and decried the ever-growing societal decline.

It would be in my early teen years that I would have my first personal encounter with a Witness when they knocked at my front door. My first impression when I opened the door was good as I saw two well-mannered and smartly dressed people smile cordially at me. It would be at this first meeting that I learned of the pre-eminence which they give the title of Jehovah above other names of God.

They immediately engaged me with conversation to ascertain the status of my religious beliefs. They listened as I told them of my faith in God and talked of the atoning death of Jesus. After hearing enough, they asked me why I did not call God by his real name? Having expertly got me to this point, I incredulously asked them what that name was? They told me the name of God was "Jehovah." They also informed me that He, i.e, God would not even hear my prayers if I did not thus address him. I knew this was wrong even as a young person and vigorously disagreed with them. That was the end of my first face-to-face encounter with a Jehovah's Witness.

Still, I continued as a teen to read their handouts and even books that would be left with us by various door to door encounters. I continued to be fascinated with this movement and sought to better understand it. It would be many years to come before I had a more indepth knowledge of their doctrine. That time would come following the death of my mother. As I felt that grief and depression that washes over you in times of loss, I welcomed that knock at my door. I told the two (now familiar Witnesses) of the recent passing of my mother. I invited them both to join me in the garden as I grappled with understanding the meaning of it all. It was at this point, that I began to study with them on a weekly basis.

Every week, I would be assigned a chapter to read in a small Jehovah's Witness book. Each chapter contained Biblical verses as well as commentaries on the topic. In one such study, I began to be aware that they did not assent to one of the basic tenets of Christian doctrine, the Trinity. The sense that something was terribly wrong began to descend upon me. I could not quite believe it though and asked the ladies if I had gotten something wrong because, 'it seemed like this study suggested that Jesus was not the Son of God.' They quickly assured me that they did believe thst Jesus was the Son of God. I further pushed toward exploring questions regarding the Trinity with the Witnesses and it was then that I began to get to the core of why I was never going to be a Jehovah's Witness.

Michelle* opened up her Bible to Colossians 1:15 and asked me to read. It said, "And He (referring to Jesus) is the image of the invisible God, the first-born of all creation."  This was all to point out something that they believed that I had missed which was that Jesus was the first created being.  I had to stop Michelle there and remind her that Jesus is God incarnate. She asked me "what would make me think that?" The first Bible verse that came to mind was John 1:1 which explains that "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." That Word is Jesus I posited and He was there from the beginning of creation.

At this point, Michelle accused me of being a polytheist. That hurt! I told her that this simply was not true. I wanted to assure her that I believed what is revealed in Deuteronomy 6:4, which is that "the Lord our God, the Lord is one." I related to Michelle and Sami* that the Trinity means that God although One God, He chose to reveal Himself in the form of three persons: Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit.

At this point, I asked them to re-read the two verses which we had just studied. This time I opened my own Bible to follow along. Perusing the footnotes, I discovered one key point that I hoped they would consider. It was concerning Colossians 1:15. Commenting on the translation of first-born it related the following. First-created in the Greek of the time would have been rendered as Protoktioti. Paul instead used the word Prototokos which can mean sovereign, pre-eminent or first-born.

In the Bible first-born is often used to simply connote pre-eminence. Another example of that would be  in Psalm 89:27. "Also I will make him (David) My firstborn,the highest of the Kings of the earth." But, we all know that David was the youngest of Jesse's children when Samuel anointed him to be King of Israel. The second thing that became apparent when they read from their New World translation of the Bible was that their opening verse of John's gospel was very different from mine.

Now, who's the polytheist? I was stunned to realize that the Jehovah's Witnesses bible read, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was a god." "Was a god!" It began to dawn on me that to make a case against the Trinity would require them to ignore vast tracts of the Bible. I began to think of examples like when Thomas the apostle who had previously doubted Jesus' resurrection came to understand the truth and was humbled. Jesus entreated Thomas to touch his wounds and examine them.  Thomas after realizing how wrong he was exclaimed, "My Lord and my God."-John 20:28.

I felt that I had come in contact with the modern-day spirit of Thomas. What of Peter affirming in the early Church that the Holy Spirit is God? "But Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit...you have not lied to men, but to God!"-Acts5:3-4. Those Witnesses never came back to my home again. It was a pity because I genuinely liked them. It was like I got on some permenent "do not knock" list!

Something about Lily's questions that day in Zürich brought memories of these past Jehovah's Witness encounters flooding back to my mind and I desperately wanted to reach out to her and open a dialogue that might clear up some questions she had regarding theTrinity. I gave her my email and I told her I would be blogging on the topic. I pray she reads this and begins to explore this topic further. I hope we all do.






* the names have been changed.

Thursday, June 21, 2018

Suicide Uptick

Statistics released in the United States recently, reveal an uptick in its' suicide rates since the year 2000. This, just after a slew of celebrity suicides have occurred. However, a careful look at worldwide statistics reveal that suicide has touched all the nations of this world and some much more than the United States.

As I perused the many headlines and articles devoted to explaining the recent suicides of celebrities such as Kate Spade, and Anthony Bourdain, what was missing was any notion of a spiritual context. What has to happen spiritually to a person before they contemplate suicide? For one thing, they must feel existentially alone.

Feeling existentially alone is a process. It does not just happen.  Are we really alone? The answer to that is NO. It just feels that way some times, but we must resist that feeling and understand that this is a false reality that can change at any moment. Sometimes, we are isolated because of actions we have taken. Such was the case with Denic*.

Denic constantly complained about how awful his family was. He had come from a large family in the Ukraine but he always seemed to be squabbling with one or all of them. His sadness was terrible during holidays and his birthday. He felt misunderstood and rejected. Things got worse for Denic when the woman of his dreams broke off their relationship.

He was near emotional collapse. He felt that things could not possibly get better. Yet, he had simply got it all wrong. His family deeply loved him, as did his girlfriend. How could everything seem so wrong to Denic but not be as hopeless as he thought? The answer is as I have suggested; Denic was not seeing things as they really were.

The Bible first and foremost informs us that we must, think about our behavior. Specifically, Haggai 1:5-6 says: "Now therefore thus saith the Lord of hosts; consider your ways. Ye have sown much, and bring in little; ye eat, but ye have not enough; ye drink but never have your fill." This verse appears to have been written for Denic.

Something that we or Denic should remember when a relationship seems to take a turn for the worse is to ask ourself if we have been listening to what that person has communicated to us. A careful review of past conversations or arguments will usually reveal the problem. In Denic's case, those answers would go far to improving all his relationships.

You see, Denic had a bad habit of talking at people rather than to people. People in his life grew frustrated because they felt he never listened to them. He was bossy and domineering and often though he was smarter than everyone around him. He had attained his doctorate degree at the University and loved to shove that into arguments too.

None of us are perfect and when we see our professional or family relations go sour, we would do well to think of what we might do better. This requires being humble of course, but at the end of the day, please believe me, we would all be happier if we did this. Being Denic is so very hard. No one wants to play with the kid who never loses the game and how does Denic handle it when he inevitably fails? The answer is he goes into a deep depression. Is this what happened to Kate Spade or Anthony Bourdain? Perhaps.

We learn in the Bible that only God is perfect. We further learn that in our weakness God will show His strength and carry us through the situation. Why don't we just lean on God? I don't know about you, but it is such a relief to know that I don't have to be perfect.

It surprises many people how often the Bible references and discusses the circumstances of suicide. God in His infinite love and wisdom has given us His Holy Word the Bible to teach us and help us to have the right mindset on matters of life and death. Among other things that I have learned about suicide in the Bible is that it has a variety of causes : fear, guilt, depression, failure, illness and hopelessness.

Every cause of suicide is countered in the Bible with equal but opposite principles. Instead of fear we can gain strength from God. (Don't fear, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name; you are mine-Isaiah 43:1) Instead of guilt, we can know that when we turn our lives over to Jesus that our guilt and shame were taken by Him on the cross. (Looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God- Hebrews 12:2)

In place of depression we can see God gives us comfort. (The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in Spirit- Psalm 34:18) There is healing spiritually, first and foremost but God also heals physically. (When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick-Matthew14:14) God gives us hope instead of hopelessness if only we will turn to him. (Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you, he will never let the righteous be shaken- Psalm 55:22.)

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord- Romans 8:38-39.

*Names changed to protect the identity.

Friday, June 8, 2018

Marriage Retreat

A short time ago, my husband and I went on a Marriage Retreat Weekend. It is held every year at the Tuscarora Inn and Christian Convention Center, in Mount Bethel, Pennsylvania. It is deeply impactful and meaningful to attend such an event and to reflect upon the meaning of marriage and think about your marriage in particular.
Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

For weeks before the event occurred, I kept feeling like I had too much to do to get away. Then, just days before we were slated to attend the event, I started to get nervous thinking about all the issues that could come up and how imperfect our marriage really was. Why is it that we take better care of our cars than our marriages?
1 Peter 4:8: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

My father told me to always take care of my car. "Make sure you change your oil regularly, rotate those tires, and winterize your car before the onset of bad weather." I enjoyed splashing around with the garden hose during the many times my father would regularly wash and wax his car. I think that I was more prepared for having a clean and well-maintened vehicle than a thriving marriage. In case you're wondering, my car looks great!

When we arrived, I only knew one couple from our church, Ben* and Jean.* Everyone except us seemed to know each other. A number of church groups came together. **Note to self: get together a church group for next year! In the course of the weekend that would all change and I would make deep an meaningful connections with other married couples.
Hebrews 10:24-25: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

Tuscarora is perfectly situated on the beautiful Delaware river. It is a deeply peaceful place where one can truly leave the world behind and take time to relax, re-tool and re-focus. After dinner on Friday night we had an amazing husband and wife team from a local church open the event with carefully chosen worship songs which helped me prepare my heart and quite my mind as we prepared to hear the message about marriage.

On to the stage, walked a small and unassuming 79 year old couple named Gordon and Gail MacDonald. The husband and wife were both soft spoken with the husband exuding a shy and frail presence. They settled into two talk show host style chairs and proceeded to do a sound check. The couple introduced themselves and shared the format that their discussions would follow. The unusual technique involved them facing each other, and not the audience. From the audiences perspective it felt at first as if were somehow eavesdropping on a couples private conversation.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

Later, it felt as if we had the good fortune of being on the inside of a half-century old marriage and could learn all of the inside secrets. I believe that is exactly what they had in mind as they went down memory lane and gave a decade-by-decade, blow-by-blow account of their life. With special emphasis upon the challenges that each age and stage of marriage brings, they were able to prepare their audience for what the problems might be.
Mark 10:9: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.

As they did this, there were plenty of scriptures and positive God-centered advise on how to overcome theses common pitfalls. Life gets busy. Every day there are many things that need to be done: taking the garbage out, washing the dishes, laundry, work, school, sports, friend, and family commitments. Sometimes a couple simply grows apart due to the pressures and responsibilities of their life. In this flurry of activity please make sure to invest time and energy into making your marriage grow. It is not easy. I know, because my husband and I came to a point in our lives where we did not make that a priority and we both suffered the consequences.
Malachi 2:14-15: “But you say, 'Why does he not?' Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant."

Attending a marriage retreat is one way to divorce proof a marriage. No doubt, It will take you out of your comfort zone as it did me. But, you can rest assured that you will leave the marriage retreat a better person than when you came. That is the reason I learned, that many people return to these events, year after year.
Ephesians 4:2-3: “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."









*names are changed. **Note to self.

Friday, June 1, 2018

What The Devil is Wrong?

A deep spiritual malaise exists in many areas of our world today. In our homes, schools and workplaces there are many dark situations. We see this manifested in different ways: selfish attitudes, bullying, lack of purpose, superficiality and worse. This does not bode well for the greater society since the above mentioned institutions are foundational to the teaching, maintaining and promoting of a happy and well-functioning society. Some headlines bring this to mind.

HOME: While many are laughing about the thirty year old New York man, whose parents were forced to take him to court in order to get him out of their house, I think it is anything but a laughing matter. It has been an historical fact that throughout much of human history that many generations of one family resided together under one roof. Ususally, it meant laboring together for the good of the extended family. It meant pooling the resources of the family for both work, survival and safety. Now, it represents a "failure to launch."
Proverbs 12:11 "Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chose fantasies have not sense."

Then, there is the recent television interview of two grandparents, whose daughter was accused of murdering their granddaughter. Casey Anthony, who beat that murder wrap, became known as the most hated mom in America. This case, which occurred ten years ago continues to fascinate the public. Why? I think there are many answers to that. One of them is the incomprehensibiliry of the act. The question of why this happened, and what does it portend; weigh upon the collective conscience.
Matthew 15:19 "For out of the heart come evil thoughts- murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander."

SCHOOL: What of the recent school shootings in Florida and Texas? Schools have and always will be a bellweather expressing the deep core issues of any people in any place. As long as I can remember now, schools in the U.S. have been a place of cruelty. A place best described by the classic 1954 novel, "The Lord Of The Flies" by Nobel Prize-winning writer William Golding. Golding describes a group of students who get marooned on a remote island. With no adult supervision, their attempts to create a just and sane environment are not possible. Left to their own devises they create a destructive and hellish existence.

What an apt description of the state of the American teen! Left to their own devices by pre-occupied and self-centered parents who are more concerned with their phones then their children's well-being, schools are no longer all they could be. It is very easy to blame the teachers or guns, but the Bible is explicit that parents are to train a child in the way that they should go, and when they are old they will not depart. We are seeing bad behavior because of the direction that our parenting has taken.
Titus 2:7-8 "In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us."

WORKPLACES: Frankie* had worked for a social services agency long before he ever became a Christian. Things he had long experienced however, took on a different hue when viewed through the lens of his Christian values.  It no longer seemed right to him to observe the million little day in and day out corruptions that exist in that workplace: the petty and not so petty battles going on. The acting out of jealousies or greed. The lack of a work ethic.
Psalm 90:17 "May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us-yes establish the work of our hands."

No one seemed to care about creating the type of cooperation which would make that agency operate smoothly. Furthermore, where was the gratitude or accountability to the citizens whose taxes paid for their salaries and benefits? No, to Frankie it seemed many were in this job for what they could get, and nothing more. Does this seem familiar to you?
COLOSSIANS 3:23 "Whatever you do,work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not human masters."

WHAT THE DEVIL IS WRONG? Beyond the headlines and our daily life there are deeper spiritual truths revealing themselves. In the opening chapter of the book of Job, we meet God and Satan (your adversary). We learn that the devil, who is real, walks to and fro, and up and down among us. We learn that there is a supernatural battle that is being waged for our souls. We are not merely passing through a meaningless life. Our thoughts and our actions matter. Not just to us, and those around us, but also to God and the Devil. Those thoughts and actions can make our home, school and work zones a better place. Although we can never hope to achieve perfection, understanding and accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior, can be our ticket to a clear understanding of how we ought to live.

Are you ready to make some changes in your life, because you know that you have been wrong? As you read this post, consider if you need to change your relationships at home, in school or at work? It all begins with a self-inventory. The Bible tells us that we are all sinners. It makes it clear that we are to look at ourselves honestly and consider the kind of person that we are and the things that we have done. Only then, can we understand our need for the Savior Jesus Christ. This will not be easy because Satan, in the guise of popular culture, tells you that you are basically a good person. This is a lie and it will not lead you to God nor toward being your best self.
Luke 1:37 "For no Word from God will ever fail."

I hope that we all realize that WHAT THE DEVIL IS WRONG is US and the choices that we have made and the effect that they have. There is a gargantuan battle going on for the direction of our world. The question is will you choose to follow God or the Devil in your home, in your school, or on your job?
Acts 2:38 "Peter replied, repent and be baptized every one of you, in the name of  Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit."


*the names were changed.

Friday, May 18, 2018

Entertainment Reboot?

What are you watching these days? Do you get all your news from your favorite news app in the morning? Seen any good movies lately? Do you have any weekly shows that you follow or, are you binge watching a series that you need to catch up on? No matter which of the above questions you may have answered yes to, it is important from time to time to consider the effects that your viewing habits may be having upon you.

I hope that the things which you see and hear on social media, the news and in the various entertainments that you choose to partake of, enhance and uplift your life. But, from time to time I test that premise out in my own life. You can too! Below is a series of questions and things to reflect upon as you watch your favorite videos, movies etc. For a week write down the name of every social media account, video, movie or news show that you see thusly:

What I Watch.          How I Feel Before The Show.      How I Feel After The Show.
Where appropriate, look more closely at the programming that you consume and reflect on the following questions:

1.What does this program say about dating, marriage and the family?
2. Does it depict family relationships in a godly way?
3. How do people treat one another in (business, school, church or at leisure)? Compare and contrast that with biblical standards.
4. What philosophical principles are revealed?
5. What does the Bible say about the issues raised in that article, movie, or other entertainment?

Is all the bad news that you read or see in entertainment causing you stress? Sometimes we don't realize how the bad news or depressing outcome of a show might effect us. More and more people are choosing to not watch the news because the bad news is overwhelming to them. I would not suggest ignoring the events occurring in our world, but I would advise against staying glued to the screen as news media outlets go over and over bad things.

Seek positive news sources and websites and bookmark or subscribe to them. Read the Bible and contemplate God's plan for you everyday. Pray for God's guidance. Take a walk and listen to the birds sing or sit by a local lake or river weekly. Even an easy to care for plant in your apartment can have a positive health benefit for you. Make time for things which will be uplifting daily. As I think about my social media presence or before I plunk myself in front of a screen, I ask myself what is the best way to utilize my time and energy. When we only have a few hours to influence our children for the day, or to spend time with our spouse, is it really a priority to check our Facebook page for comments?

What about reaching out to a lonely relative, friend or neighbor? Perhaps do some volunteer work? Don't ignore your household chores or else they will just pile up and you will have more to do later. Find a church and do a weekly bible study. When entertainment is done in a healthy and balanced way, it is part of the leisure and fun God intended us to add to our life's work. Sometimes, social media gives us updates, and FaceTime helps us stay in touch with those we love who are far away but, it can not replace the hugs and kisses nor the up-close and personal attention that is needed to maintain and thrive your relationships.

If you are not where you know you should be in some area of your life, this time of reflection may be helpful. We can assertain if our time spent with our devices is taking needed time away from doing homework, reaching out to meet new people, or if it is serving to hide us away from the world because we are suffering from depression or fear. Wendy* is struggling from the effects that result from the chronic disease Lupus. She is clearly depressed and anxious and needs help to deal with the psychological toll that the disease has taken on her. Instead, she is hold up in her Upper East Side Manhattan apartment shopping on all the home shopping networks and chatting on Facebook all-day long.

Or, there is Mikhail*, who plays video games whenever he can. His first year at college was more challenging than he thought. The pressure to keep his grades high plus the challenge of making new friends has overwhelmed him. It was hard to go from the popular and smart boy at his Brooklyn prep school to socially marginalized in one year. These two stories are cautionary for all of us. It is important to regularly evaluate our use or misuse of the things that we call tools or entertainment. How are you doing, okay? If not, it may be time for an Entertainment Reboot!


*Names are changed.

Monday, April 30, 2018

The Christian Wars: The Bible

The Christian Wars of today entail the many battles being fought which will effect the direction of the many churches affiliated with the message of Jesus Christ. What are some of the battles being fought? It would be beyond the scope of my weekly blog post to handle them all at once. Let's just say that if I wanted to, I could post a battle a week. Of course, it will come as no surprise to you that a religion begun thousands of years ago with sixty-six books and approximately thirty-one thousand, one-hundred and two verses would lend itself to debate!

Yet, on a daily basis these battles are rather brutal. The first thing that I would like to mention is don't assume when you are looking for a Church to attend that you should choose the one which is closest to your home. I wish that was an option for all of us. I wish every Church bearing the images and symbols that we have come to associate with Jesus Christ was worthy of our Lord and Savior and your attendance. No, just because a building bears a cross and stain-glass window or, you hear some awesome singing coming out of it, does not mean that it is a place of worship, learning or fellowship.
2 Thessalonians 3:6-now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us.

A case in point: I could scarcely believe my eyes when I just so happened to peruse a local Westchester County, New York Church website. There is a woman, that I attend Bible Study with, who happens to love thrift stores, church tag sales and flea markets. She literally knows every one happening in this vicinity. She asked me if I had ever attended a huge one not very far from the church I attend. I said, "no," but afterwards went online to find out more details about this event.

The tag sale looked amazing but I lost my desire to shop when just out of curiosity I looked at the Mission statement of that Church. "We do not believe that the Bible is inerrant." "We aren't too concerned about creeds and formal theological statements, believing that everyone's faith is a matter of personal conscience." "We are open and affirming." "We answer only to the highest authority."
Titus 1:16-They profess that they know God; but in works they deny him, being abominable, and disobedient, and unto every good work reprobate.

My question is: just who is that highest authority? On the surface, there are bits and pieces of the truth reflected in this and other assertions made on this church website.  But, look a little closer and you see the kind of deception that is at the heart of The Christian Wars. It starts with the Bible. The Bible as far as I'm concerned is the revealed Will and Word of God Almighty.
2 Timothy 3:5-having a form of godliness, but denying he power thereof: from such turn away.

So what is this church saying when it states that the Bible is not inerrant? Is it that God makes mistakes? He created the heavens and the earth. God could assure the synchronicity of the sun, moon and earth but, He could not find a way to let His Will be known correctly in the Bible? Or, are they hinting that other entities, other than the Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit sometimes give us the greater truth? Or sometimes Jesus is right and sometimes ********** is right? Clearly, what this church proposes is outright Christian Civil War.

And, how lacksidasical to state that, "we aren't too concerned about creeds." Creeds explain the truths believed and confirm unity of purpose. So, this church is allowing any and all types of philosophy in and don't think that is so important. Sort of the "I'm okay, you're okay" thing. It may feel good but is hopelessly in error of the story and message of the Bible.
Ephesians 4:14-That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive

God is the author and finisher of our salvation and the Bible is a conduit to receiving that. The greatest minds in opposition to this life-changing book have fought to diminish its' credibility and hence its' importance because of this. Yet, they have not succeeded. Where they seek to tear it apart from literary, or through various scientific scrutinies, new evidence emerges pointing to the Bible's veracity.

I was raised in a tradition that mixed Biblical truth with traditions that had historically infiltrated the Church. These traditions arose in part to answer questions and appease those seeking to both follow God and their own past traditions. So, in other words, many sought to have the blessings and the peace that faith in God brings, as well as engage in whatever forbidden practices they may have wanted to continue.

Also, rather than trust in God to fulfill and reveal His message, people sought to answer questions by tweeking the gospel message to tantalize the listener. This caused people who did not truly understand the message to convert, but, in a superficial way. So, perhaps we can see now that no matter how well-intentioned our motive was or is, that there is no short-cut or soft-sell of salvation. Salvation is that point when we meet God and fully accept and understand the covenant that he has extended to us.
Isaiah 29:13-and the Lord said: Forasmuch as this people draw near, and with their mouth and with their lips do honor Me, but have removed their heart far from Me, and their fear of Me is a commandment of men learned by rote

I understand the above described Church's desire to be welcoming and loving, for these are truly godly attributes. However, Jesus said, "you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free." -John 8:32.The truth that Jesus refers to is contained in the Bible. We know that Jesus dramatically inaugurated His earthly Ministry by publicly reading from the scroll of Isaiah ( The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel-Isaiah 61:1) God anointed His Son to preach the gospel. Jesus then anointed us to do the same. "And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, all power is given me in heaven and in earth. Go therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost"-Matthew 28:18. We begin as Jesus did to teach, but, are we teaching the unadulterated life-changing message of Jesus Christ or some facsimile?













**********- place the name of any other religious entity know the

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Babylon, Then And Now

What comes to mind when you think of ancient Babylon? I think of the fertile agricultural region of Mesopotamia and the area which would come to be called a "cradle of civilization." I also think of one of the ancient wonders of the world, the Hanging Gardens. 'The king spoke, saying,"is not this great Babylon, that I have built for a royal dwelling by my mighty power and for the honor of my majesty?"-Daniel 4:30. Tales of ancient Babylon also brings to mind biblical accounts of the Jewish nations captivity. When the Babylonian Empire was at its' height it had conquered nearly all of the Middle East, including the lands inhabited by the Israelites.

While some take issue with the biblical accounts of this time period, in my studies of the topic, I have found that quite often evidence has come to light which show how right and true the story of the Babylonian captivity was told in the Bible. The story begins with a people struggling to follow God Almighty. The Israelites wavered between living in the fashion God Himself had taught them and the cultural and social forces that conflicted with that practice.

In the books of first and second Kings and first and second Chronicles we further see the descendants of those lead to the Promised Land first by Moses and then by Joshua in civil division and living in animosity with one another. As that story unfolded God sent divine assistance in the form of prophets to mercifully re-direct His people. We are told the story of Kings such as Hezakiah who prayed for the nation of Judah (2 Kings 19:15-19). Yet, these efforts did not convince the people to change their ways of living, nor their relationship with God.

God, like any good parent, let them know what the consequences of their actions would be, yet, they persisted and chose the wrong path. In this case, this lead to what would come to be known as the Babylonian Captivity. Dragged from the land that the Jews were given by God and had battled to possess, they were now back where they had started in Egypt, slaves. The captivity in Babylon lasted 70 years. Through the prophet Daniel, God revealed many things to us including the number of years that the captivity of the Israelites would last.

It is from the revelations given to Daniel that we learn more of Babylon, Then And Now. Daniel was born into the upper echelons of the Jewish society of his time. However, all that was interrupted during the first incursions by the Babylonians into the Holy Land. It was then that King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon invaded and began what would be the first of three invasions leading to death, destruction and slavery for the Hebrew nation.

Daniel was probably about sixteen at the time that these events took place. His societal position made him a target for kidnapping. It was a common practice, in those times, to kidnap people of higher rank in order to extort money and ensure cooperation by invading armies. So, it was, that he was one of a small group that were taken hostage. (Daniel 1:1-4)

For most of us, it is hard to imagine what it would be like to be ripped from the bosom of your home and family by force and then taken to a strange land. Nothing was familiar to him, not the people, the clothing and even the language. The history of the world is full of such stories and even now it continues to happen. We know some terrible things happened to Daniel. Physical, and psychological abuse and even sexual atrocities may have been committed. The cruel sexual abuse of people in history may have included Daniel himself. "And they shall take away some of your sons who will descend from you, whom you will beget; and they shall be eunuchs in the palace of the king of Babylon"-2 Kings 20:18. We know that Babylon, Then And Now is replete with stories such as this. Think of the Yazidis and Christians who were abused by the ISIS forces in what was the territory of the former Babylonian Empire.

For those who have been so cruelly used, there is hope of healing after the abuse. Daniel's relationship with God was a key factor in surviving and even thriving. Indeed, there is nothing that this world can do to you that God can not bring you through. The Book of Daniel, Chapter 3 details how his captors tried to burn him to death but God brought him out unscathed. Daniel was used by God in a mighty way.

His gifts and favor with God emerged even in the harsh environment of the Babylonian captivity. He excelled when forced to learn the language and literature of his captives. He kept to God's commandments, and statutes even as he was persecuted for it. Has persecution ever happened to you in your family or at work just because you wanted to follow God? God blessed Daniel with revelations about the course of human history. These revelations were and still are shocking!

He was able to have the comfort of knowing that his people the Jews would be restored to their homeland seventy years into the future. God gave him a glimpse of the empires that were and would rule the region:  Babylon, Persia/Media, Greece and then Rome (Daniel 8:20-22 & Daniel 11). Daniel described in his writings, through the symbols that God had given to him, the eventual collapse of these regimes. But that's not all.

Daniel imparted to us a timeline for the arrival of the Messiah, Jesus Christ (Daniel 9:24). Forever, highlighting in yellow, the plan that God had to send His Son and when! The Book of Daniel is also prerequisite reading to understand the final book in the 66 book collection that is the Bible. Of all places, I recently got to explain this to a couple that I knew when in a library parking lot near my home.

I was running into the library to return some books that my husband had borrowed, when I ran into Michael*and his wife Jill*. Michael is a well-known political figure in Westchester County, NY. He and his family have been involved in local politics for a long time. He is also well-known by some as a shameless flirt. It seems that the charm and power of his position had enticed more than a few woman throughout the years. However, today I found a different Michael. He had gotten quite a bit older since I saw him last, and he had purposely called me over to ask a question about the Bible.

Apparently, Michael, not a church-goer, had picked up the Bible and rather than read the whole thing he just skipped ahead to the end. I have been known to do that while pressed for a deadline during my school years. Anyway, he was deeply disturbed by the images and ideas that he found in the book of Revelation. His first comments to me on the subject were an attack.  Having done his share of drugs as a young man he told me that he was sure this Apostle John, who wrote the book, must have been high on something.

I asked him had he "read the Book of Daniel?" "No", was his reply. I told him that "in order to understand  the book of Revelation, it is essential to have read the book of Daniel." Further, that "the images and ideas in the Book of Revelation run as threads throughout the whole Bible." I explained that "highly sensitive information has and always will be cloaked in secrecy. Symbols, codes and secret names have been used in every culture and nation on earth, especially during times of war. What bigger war is there than the battle between God and Satan, good and evil. So, is it any surprise that the Books of Daniel and Revelation, which heavily deal with such matters would be written that way?"

Daniel, was able to behold one of the greatest wonders of his time, the city of Babylon. The splendor of the Babylonian Empire extended to science, technology, and architecture to name but a few of its' accolades. Babylon, or present day Iraq, again came to prominence under the former dictator Sadam Hussein, who often referenced the glory of that former empire in referring to his own achievements.

Daniel was truly a visionary because he saw, with God's help, much more than those who live in the moment do. He saw beneath the surface of his situation and beyond the grandeur of ancient Babylon. God gave Daniel a picture of Babylon, Then and Now because it represents and points to the ultimate battle of good and evil that has and will continue to be waged for the souls of humanity. Many of the things and types of things that occurred in Babylon need to be understood so that we may be able to understand the prophetic events that are unfolding now and in the future. God did not want us to be ignorant of these events and told us to be watchful.


* the names and a fact is changed to protect identity.