Every Friday evening my Church does an outreach on the streets of a city in Westchester County, N.Y. It is a worthwhile exercise reaching the lost with the message of salvation. Just recently three men gave their hearts to Jesus Christ. While the Angels rejoiced, what of the lost and burning within our own Church? Let me give an example from a recent encounter I had before a Bible Study.
Anderson* sits quietly in the back of all church activities, including Bible Study. He is the sort of person who could practically blend into the background if you let him, and my church lets him. When I first began attending this Church and I introduced myself around, Anderson kept himself at a distance. The emotional wall was unmistakable and I crashed right into it!
Anderson was born and raised in Westchester County, New York, the son of a lawyer. His tall, good Dutch looks mixed with his profession of racing car driver combined to open the door to many sexual encounters with adoring women. He was married and divorced some years ago and has some adult children from that union.
Those of you who regularly read my blog know that my Church recently had its' Annual Barbeque and Picnic. It was at this event that I came to meet Anderson's girlfriend, Lisa *. Lisa was a short, well-dressed no-nonsense woman. Between entrees on the receiving line, I introduced myself. I had the barbeque chicken and Lisa had the ribs, just in case you were wondering. I continued with some acorn squash rings and salad, while Lisa went for potato salad. It was all very delicious.
When I got done with some preliminary introductions to Lisa, I ate and got back to the children's craft table I was manning outside our Church. It was a windy day and I had left my husband to watch my outside table lest anything should fly away. Relieving him now, it was my husband's turn to go sit down and eat his lunch. I directed him to go sit next to Anderson and meet his girlfriend Lisa, hoping they would enjoy some pleasant conversation over their shared interest in business.
About two weeks later, just before Bible Study, I happened to mention to Anderson that I enjoyed meeting his girlfriend and that I hoped she enjoyed our Annual Picnic. I went on to relate that I hoped she might come out to Church some time. This is when Anderson started a tirade. Anderson answered that "she had been to the picnic before and she was not about to come out to Church."
According to Anderson, Lisa stubbornly clung to her Albanian "Catholic tradition and was not about to come out to our church." In a clear case of too much information, Anderson went on to describe a close relationship between Lisa and her Albanian father. " Lisa took care of him. They had a great relationship and so luckily for me (Anderson) that means that she enjoys men and so naturally we have great sex! She's an alpha female and I'm an alpha male so we get along great!"
I was stunned by all that he had said, and the way that he had said it. Never one to shrink from the challenge, or maybe I am just an alpha female myself, I hazarded a reply. I asked Anderson if "he and Lisa were married?" It is then, that Anderson went ballistic. Yes, brothers and sisters in Christ, when we draw the sword of truth in the war-zone of sin, there is going to be a battle. When we point out the way of God to an unrepentant sinner, be prepared for all manner of hell to break loose.
Anderson threw up every justification and excuse in the book. He had been living this ungodly lifestyle for so long that he had become an expert apologist for fornication. He pulled the old, " you don't understand, but I've been through a nasty divorce leaving me unable to trust!" I countered with, "yes, I do understand because many people in my life including my own parents had nasty divorces."
I asked him, why doesn't he "consider marrying Lisa?" To this came the shocking reply that he "wouldn't marry Lisa and if I (Anderson) did want to get married it wouldn't be to Lisa, it would be to
somebody better!" I was so deeply hurt for Lisa. This man whom she had given herself to, whom
she had cared for, and with whom she had spent many years has no respect or love for her.
Anderson and I were interrupted by the announcement that the Bible study was about to begin. As I pulled my Bible out, Anderson whispered, "Excuse me, just one more thing, can you butt out of my business." To this I answered that he "is the one who chose to put his business in my face" and because he did that "it is my right and responsibility to stand up for the Lord and His principles. I reminded him that he "was in God's house."
There are so many lessons contained in an everyday story such as this. It is imperative that we as Christians begin to reflect upon some of these today. First, how is it that people in any godly church could sit there for years and still arrogantly brag about unmarried sexual exploits? How important is it for churches to teach biblical principles of marriage and sexuality?
Is it easier to street preach or witness to complete strangers than it is to share the gospel with our family, or people sitting next to us in Church? What are we afraid of? If you had to state Christian teaching on marriage and sexuality, could you? Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior confronted all of these questions within his earthly Ministry.
Are we like the Pharisees, well acquainted with the Bible, but failing in the practical applications of these principles in our life? The Pharisees got lost in the scriptures as an intellectual pursuit but could not really understand the salvation message. So when someone like Anderson, or the Samaritans in the following biblical example, failed to receive the message there is condemnation and no hope.
"Lord, do you want us to command fire to come down and consume them?" But Jesus answered, "you do not know what kind of Spirit you are of; for the Son of Man did not come to destroy men's lives, but to save them." Luke 9:54-56. Here we see Jesus clarifying the situation for those inclined toward
the Pharisidic spirit. In the following example, Jesus had preached to the Samaritans. So, lesson number one, we must speak God's message to Anderson. Lesson number two, just like the followers of Jesus we will be frustrated when people do not receive that message. Lesson number three, don't
condemn those people or lose sight of the fact that Jesus has come to save lives. Have faith in what God can do in someone's life.
Or, are we like the Sadducees? The Sadducees view of life could be prevalent in your Church if it seems more like a social club than a place where Jesus is lifted high. Coffee house or house of God? The Sadducees were afraid "to rock the boat," this seems a lot like attitudes in my Church about Anderson. "Oh Anderson, don't you look nice today?" "Anderson comes to Church every week, isn't that wonderful!" "Oh my, I can't believe what Anderson just said but I don't want to get involved." "Oh, this is a bit of a sticky wicket isn't it?"
Jesus Christ preached to both the Pharisees and the Sadducees, correcting them and pointing out true godliness. He would be the first to sit down with sinners, reaching out to all the lost people on the fringes of society, and we should too. That means, Deacon *** or Pastor ***, sharing a meal with the Anderson's of this world and doing as Jesus did to point that person in the right direction. In Matthew 9:9-13, we see one instance of Jesus doing that. "As Jesus passed on from there, He saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax office. And He said to him, "Follow me." So he arose and followed Him. Now it happened, as Jesus sat at the table in the house, that behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and sat down with Him and His disciples. And when the Pharisees saw it, they said to his disciples,"Why does your Teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?" When Jesus heard that, He said to them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick."
Are we more concerned with keeping up appearances rather than keeping the faith? Are we superficial believers or does it go deeper? Yes, Jesus calls us to a deeper and more mature life. A life where we make sure no one in our church falls between the cracks : not Anderson or anyone else on the fringes of church life. After my encounter with Anderson, I was more resolved then ever to reach those in my Church for Christ. I went home and printed out four pages of biblical teachings on why we should not be living together without being married. A brother in Christ, who literally sat between Anderson and myself at church when we had our encounter, was the person who delivered those biblical teachings to Anderson this past Sunday. He too cares for Anderson and wants to help him understand the meaning of biblical truths. I will pray everyday this week that we reach Anderson for Christ.
* names and some details are changed.
Monday, October 24, 2016
Friday, October 14, 2016
Christian Housewife Election Score Card 2016 Election
In November, the United States will elect their 45th President. This election has highlighted the problems and differences of the people who inhabit this land as well as people around the world. Our whole world is struggling with the vital philosophical questions that inform our political choices and the lives of our nations. Where did we come from, where are we going? What is a well-lived life? Just who or what we decide to base our lives upon determines the fate of our families, communities and our nations. Our planet is locked in an epic struggle between the forces of good and evil. Part of this manifests itself in the political battles that we face. Our vote is always a vote for God or against God. Whether we are casting a ballot for a school board, a local or national leader, our votes create the policies which govern our lives.
If you are a believer in God Almighty, it is vitally important that you open your eyes to the direction that your nation is taking and how your action or lack of action has influenced this all. The conditions that we are facing are a direct result of the indifference and corruption that Christians have fallen into. As Christians we are called to be salt and light for those around us. We are to be good role models and stand up for what we believe. Reflect upon these verses in Matthew 5:13-16 and contemplate what these verses mean in this context. "Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? It is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." But, for many, many decades Christians have failed to stand up for godly principles in schools, universities, the scientific arena and in government. We have done so out of fear or for reasons of personal gain. We are no different then the ancient nation of Israel who failed to follow God many times and in many ways. We have failed to "giveth light unto all that are in the house."
Just as the Israelites came into judgement for the wrong that they had done, we in the once great United States of America face similar consequences. It is way past time that Christians begin to right the direction of the United States and the world. For Americans this begins in November when believers in God Almighty must vote. We must base our votes on biblical principles of living, but first we must know them. A study of the Bible produces a variety of themes and priorities for our lives. Many Christians have lost an understanding of this and instead have interpreted away the Word of God. Many so-called Christian Churches today have very little to do with God's plan with a majority of their congregants ignorant of the "God breathed" document known as the Bible. Many Pastors have failed to direct their churches in godly living, which includes voting for the candidate most likely to uphold Christian teaching in public policy making.
In the last two United States presidential elections many Christians voted for Barack Obama or simply chose not to vote. Hilary Clinton has been an integral part of that administration and now wants to continue to guide our nation. Let us look at Hilary Clinton's priorities and the past eight years of what progressive liberal policies have brought us. The rise of worldwide Islamic violence is a direct result of the implementation of the liberal philosophy of foreign policy. Liberal views of foreign policies entail the belief that much of the troubles around the world eminate from the wrong actions of the United States and other world powers, hence the Obama apology tour of the Middle East. Further, the most progressive of the Democratic Party are staunchly anti-war even for just causes. We saw this position highlighted in the last Administration and in Hilary Clinton's current political campaign. Both these positions have resulted in the rise of ISIS, and the six year civil war in Syria. Further Clinton's tenure at the State Department has helped destabilize the governments of Yemen, Libya, and parts of Africa due to the rise of Islamic Jihad. So many rapes, torture, and murders have occurred in the name of Islam since we first elected Barack Obama it is almost overwhelming. Christians, Jews and secular humanists have been murdered all over the world in the most cruel and depraved ways. Our Facebook and Twitter comments supporting France and the three hundred school girls kidnapped from a Nigerian School did nothing to stem the tide of heinous suicide bombings or aid in the return of those young girls to their families.
The Israelis have been further marginalized by the world community lead by various Middle Eastern countries, Europe and the United States. (Genesis 12:3 referring to Israel says "I will bless those who bless you. And whoever curses you I will curse.") What of the Yazidis, the refugee problems and illegal chemical warfare? What of terror attacks against Americans? There are attacks on a continual basis at train stations, airports, workplaces or random locations in the name of Allah. Yet we fear offending Muslims by telling the truth of these trends. Hilary Clinton will let more Muslims into our country and then be surprised when more bombs explode at bar mitzvahs or marathons. Why let
Muslim refugees enter the United States or Europe when there are so many Muslim countries who can aide them and whose society they could easily integrate into? We should instead fight for the persecuted Christians and Yazidis to come to our shores. The Muslim world hates and does not tolerate Christians, Jews, Yazidis or non-religious people. They do not allow churches or synagogues in many of their countries. Proverbs 14:12, "There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death." All of the above is the result of being tied to a failed worldview that we must have the courage to overturn.
The Democratic Party hates Christians and Jews. Remember the comments of Barack Obama back in 2008 when he derisively described conservative leaning Pennsylvanians as misguided people who "cling to their Bibles and guns." Don't you get it America? He disdains the right of Americans to believe in a Judeo-Christian God and the right to bear arms. He has done everything he could to stamp these rights out. He has done a great job of that too. A recent Wikileaks exposure puts a fine point to this. Most of the media, which is blatantly anti-Christian, has not clearly reported on the latest Wikileaks story involving Hillary Clinton's campaign chairman John Podesta, communications director Jennifer Palmieri, and Center for American Progress senior fellow John Halpin. In a series of email exchanges Palmieri and Halpin made fun of Catholics, and showed disdain for evangelicals. They talk about creating groups to destabilize the Catholic Church. It is pure insanity if you are a Christian or Jew and planning to vote for Hiliary Clinton. It is like voting for Nero for president or marrying a man that you know hates you. It only makes sense if you are into this masochistic beat
yourself up philosophy of the Democratic Party. Where you should be sorry for being born.
Hilary Clinton has always been pro-abortion. Her record makes it clear that she will appoint pro-abortion, socialist/communist leaning Supreme Court Justices to help further her agenda. Our religious rights have been dangerously eroded under this past Democratic Administration. Gay marriage is the law of this land. Christians are losing businesses, academic positions as biblical thought has been labeled "hate speech." Our rights to practice our religion are diminishing everyday. This will continue seamlessly under a Hilary Clinton Presidency. Donald Trump is not a perfect person. He is not a polished and accomplished politician who has been schooled in the political methods of persuasion. He is not a lawyer. I say," yeah" to all of that. He has angered both United States political parties by daring to step out of the seemingly impenetrable trajectory of failure that both parties have us heading towards. All of a sudden you see statwart members of the Republican party teaming up with Democrats in an effort to defeat him! What does that tell you? Dear readers : everything that you conjectured is true. You know how you have always wondered why no matter who gets elected nothing ever changes?
We need a political outsider. Someone powerful enough to stand up against the entrenched power structure that is hijacking the constitution. A candidate to challenge the politically correct rhetoric and instead choose to speak the truth. He needs all our support. Against great pushback Donald Trump has says he will support pro-life policies including appointing conservative judges to the Supreme Court. He will immediately work to dismantle the legal framework that currently threatens Pastors who speak up about politics with loosing their tax-exempt status. This law, put into place by Democratic President Lyndon B. Johnson, has done so much to render United States Churches barren and ineffective in their work to be "salt and light." He has chosen Mike Pence, a devoted Christian as his running mate. This man, I am sure, is like a Queen Esther, placed in this portion for, "such a time as this." Esther 4:14. Queen Esther saved the Jewish people from annihilation. Donald Trump gives every indication of standing strongly for Israel and, he also has a more realistic view of terrorism than Hilary does. In this blog post, I have specifically chosen to focus on some issues relevant to our faith. Please reflect upon them and vote for Donald Trump this November! "But seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33.
If you are a believer in God Almighty, it is vitally important that you open your eyes to the direction that your nation is taking and how your action or lack of action has influenced this all. The conditions that we are facing are a direct result of the indifference and corruption that Christians have fallen into. As Christians we are called to be salt and light for those around us. We are to be good role models and stand up for what we believe. Reflect upon these verses in Matthew 5:13-16 and contemplate what these verses mean in this context. "Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? It is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." But, for many, many decades Christians have failed to stand up for godly principles in schools, universities, the scientific arena and in government. We have done so out of fear or for reasons of personal gain. We are no different then the ancient nation of Israel who failed to follow God many times and in many ways. We have failed to "giveth light unto all that are in the house."
Just as the Israelites came into judgement for the wrong that they had done, we in the once great United States of America face similar consequences. It is way past time that Christians begin to right the direction of the United States and the world. For Americans this begins in November when believers in God Almighty must vote. We must base our votes on biblical principles of living, but first we must know them. A study of the Bible produces a variety of themes and priorities for our lives. Many Christians have lost an understanding of this and instead have interpreted away the Word of God. Many so-called Christian Churches today have very little to do with God's plan with a majority of their congregants ignorant of the "God breathed" document known as the Bible. Many Pastors have failed to direct their churches in godly living, which includes voting for the candidate most likely to uphold Christian teaching in public policy making.
In the last two United States presidential elections many Christians voted for Barack Obama or simply chose not to vote. Hilary Clinton has been an integral part of that administration and now wants to continue to guide our nation. Let us look at Hilary Clinton's priorities and the past eight years of what progressive liberal policies have brought us. The rise of worldwide Islamic violence is a direct result of the implementation of the liberal philosophy of foreign policy. Liberal views of foreign policies entail the belief that much of the troubles around the world eminate from the wrong actions of the United States and other world powers, hence the Obama apology tour of the Middle East. Further, the most progressive of the Democratic Party are staunchly anti-war even for just causes. We saw this position highlighted in the last Administration and in Hilary Clinton's current political campaign. Both these positions have resulted in the rise of ISIS, and the six year civil war in Syria. Further Clinton's tenure at the State Department has helped destabilize the governments of Yemen, Libya, and parts of Africa due to the rise of Islamic Jihad. So many rapes, torture, and murders have occurred in the name of Islam since we first elected Barack Obama it is almost overwhelming. Christians, Jews and secular humanists have been murdered all over the world in the most cruel and depraved ways. Our Facebook and Twitter comments supporting France and the three hundred school girls kidnapped from a Nigerian School did nothing to stem the tide of heinous suicide bombings or aid in the return of those young girls to their families.
The Israelis have been further marginalized by the world community lead by various Middle Eastern countries, Europe and the United States. (Genesis 12:3 referring to Israel says "I will bless those who bless you. And whoever curses you I will curse.") What of the Yazidis, the refugee problems and illegal chemical warfare? What of terror attacks against Americans? There are attacks on a continual basis at train stations, airports, workplaces or random locations in the name of Allah. Yet we fear offending Muslims by telling the truth of these trends. Hilary Clinton will let more Muslims into our country and then be surprised when more bombs explode at bar mitzvahs or marathons. Why let
Muslim refugees enter the United States or Europe when there are so many Muslim countries who can aide them and whose society they could easily integrate into? We should instead fight for the persecuted Christians and Yazidis to come to our shores. The Muslim world hates and does not tolerate Christians, Jews, Yazidis or non-religious people. They do not allow churches or synagogues in many of their countries. Proverbs 14:12, "There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death." All of the above is the result of being tied to a failed worldview that we must have the courage to overturn.
The Democratic Party hates Christians and Jews. Remember the comments of Barack Obama back in 2008 when he derisively described conservative leaning Pennsylvanians as misguided people who "cling to their Bibles and guns." Don't you get it America? He disdains the right of Americans to believe in a Judeo-Christian God and the right to bear arms. He has done everything he could to stamp these rights out. He has done a great job of that too. A recent Wikileaks exposure puts a fine point to this. Most of the media, which is blatantly anti-Christian, has not clearly reported on the latest Wikileaks story involving Hillary Clinton's campaign chairman John Podesta, communications director Jennifer Palmieri, and Center for American Progress senior fellow John Halpin. In a series of email exchanges Palmieri and Halpin made fun of Catholics, and showed disdain for evangelicals. They talk about creating groups to destabilize the Catholic Church. It is pure insanity if you are a Christian or Jew and planning to vote for Hiliary Clinton. It is like voting for Nero for president or marrying a man that you know hates you. It only makes sense if you are into this masochistic beat
yourself up philosophy of the Democratic Party. Where you should be sorry for being born.
Hilary Clinton has always been pro-abortion. Her record makes it clear that she will appoint pro-abortion, socialist/communist leaning Supreme Court Justices to help further her agenda. Our religious rights have been dangerously eroded under this past Democratic Administration. Gay marriage is the law of this land. Christians are losing businesses, academic positions as biblical thought has been labeled "hate speech." Our rights to practice our religion are diminishing everyday. This will continue seamlessly under a Hilary Clinton Presidency. Donald Trump is not a perfect person. He is not a polished and accomplished politician who has been schooled in the political methods of persuasion. He is not a lawyer. I say," yeah" to all of that. He has angered both United States political parties by daring to step out of the seemingly impenetrable trajectory of failure that both parties have us heading towards. All of a sudden you see statwart members of the Republican party teaming up with Democrats in an effort to defeat him! What does that tell you? Dear readers : everything that you conjectured is true. You know how you have always wondered why no matter who gets elected nothing ever changes?
We need a political outsider. Someone powerful enough to stand up against the entrenched power structure that is hijacking the constitution. A candidate to challenge the politically correct rhetoric and instead choose to speak the truth. He needs all our support. Against great pushback Donald Trump has says he will support pro-life policies including appointing conservative judges to the Supreme Court. He will immediately work to dismantle the legal framework that currently threatens Pastors who speak up about politics with loosing their tax-exempt status. This law, put into place by Democratic President Lyndon B. Johnson, has done so much to render United States Churches barren and ineffective in their work to be "salt and light." He has chosen Mike Pence, a devoted Christian as his running mate. This man, I am sure, is like a Queen Esther, placed in this portion for, "such a time as this." Esther 4:14. Queen Esther saved the Jewish people from annihilation. Donald Trump gives every indication of standing strongly for Israel and, he also has a more realistic view of terrorism than Hilary does. In this blog post, I have specifically chosen to focus on some issues relevant to our faith. Please reflect upon them and vote for Donald Trump this November! "But seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33.
Saturday, October 1, 2016
Forgiveness at the Supermarket
Last Wednesday was a busy day for me. One activity that predominated my schedule was my contribution to the Church's Annual Barbecue and Picnic. Just two weeks previous, the Pastor's wife had asked me if I would get together some craft projects for the children to enjoy on the day of that event. I decided on three projects: a fall garland, sewing a small heart pillow and finger knitting bracelets. While I already had a vast array of free materials at my home, I needed to make sure that I had enough needles and thread. This would be the first time that I would be attending this Churches' Annual Picnic. Hence, I really had no idea how many kids might pop in for crafts. I decided to have more supplies than might be needed rather than risk disappointing any children who wanted to participate in craft activities. Cutting out thirty mini hearts and organizing all the other materials put me behind on my home responsibilities, including food shopping. On top of that, I needed to buy some fabric to make curtains, because I am currently taking a sewing class.
Therefore, my schedule for the day included a visit to Jo-Ann's craft store, where I could buy both kids craft supplies and fabric for my project and then heading right next door to a Shoprite Supermarket. I happened to start a conversation with a lovely Christian woman while at the craft store. We conversed about sewing and then bonded over the serious problems facing believers in this day and age. I sent her a link to this blog and told her about my sewing class, hoping that we might meet again. She told me we "met by divine appointment and that we would see each other again." Time seemed to pass so quickly that before I knew it, I had skipped lunch. I had not intended to do this and indeed am like a grouchy bear when I don't eat on time. I brought my shopping bagsfrom Jo-Ann's to the car and then hurried over to Shoprite.
I had a shopping list and hoped that would expedite this chore so I could go home and get a mid-afternoon snack. The store was the size of a football field and I was getting quite a walk as I searched for all my food items. Since this was not my usual shopping venue, I did not know where everything was. As I headed toward the checkout lines, I saw it was quite crowded. I naturally searched for the shortest line as well as the line where people's carts were not so full. I decided to choose a line where a man seemed to have a full cart but actually did not. In surveying his cart, I had noticed that he had a load of Foster's beer cans rolling around the bottom of his cart and a few large chrysanthemums which filled out his cart. I quickly jumped on this line.
While I busied myself checking out the array of women's magazines and snacks lining the aisle, the man greeted me quite unexpectedly with a, " how ya doing today?" I reflexively answered that I was "fine thank you," and continued eyeing snack possibilities. He seemed to be figgiding quite a bit and so I naturally glanced over to size up the situation. I saw a middle-aged man with shorts and a sleeveless sweatshirt. The type of clothing that I assumed meant that he had been out for a jog, or that he had just finished mowing a lawn. Construction perhaps? Something did not seem right with this man and I sensed his discomfiture.
My instinct did not fail me because very shortly after that he addressed me, " you still looking really good." I looked at him more closely this time but did not recognize him. Again, my manners chirped in and I said, "thank you." He replied, " you don't know who I am, do you? Oh, if you did you would not like me." Suddenly, I realized it was Sergio F.*! He had aged quite a bit since I had last seen him about fifteen years ago. His Brazilian accent seemed much thickener than it had been but it was him. I was momentarily stunned and could say nothing. Sergio and I had some run-ins back then. His wife Jerri* and I had struck up a friendship as had our daughters. We had some good times before some unpleasantries began to occur. Jerri had a very difficult second pregnancy. The doctor had told her she needed complete bed rest for the last trimester of her pregnancy. Sergio asked his sister to come up from Brazil and lend a hand while he was at work during this difficult time. Nice, right?
One night, according to Jerri, Sergio's demanding behavior forced her to leave her sick bed. Apparently, the story was he didn't like the food that his sister had prepared for dinner that night. He
yelled at Jerri and so she got up and started to cook some Veal Marsala. She ended up at the emergency room and could have lost her baby. This shocked her, and from then on she began to tell me that she would never forgive him for this. At the time, I told her that I would have just stayed in bed and told my husband they he needed to do a drive-thru at Mc Donald's! I believed that they both had made foolish choices.
Things seemed to change in their marriage after the birth of their second child. Jerri started to believe that Sergio had a secret drinking problem. According to Jerri, he was also a crazy perfectionist who criticized her housework and child rearing practices. He always seemed to feel neglected and disrespected. Jerri was overwhelmed and tired, as she tried to balance the demands of work and family. Their many differences began to take a toll and soon they argued all the time. A few years later there was talk of divorce and sure enough, the couple separated.
My relationship with Sergio had problems both before and after this separation. One time, I had invited Sergio and Jerri to my home for a backyard barbecue. When they arrived it was obvious they had been fighting. They sat down at one of the tables next to me and a Belgian couple, Jean-Luc* and Monique*. Monique was a very beautiful woman both on the inside and on the outside, who was completely devoted to her husband. She, just as many Europeans, choose more dressy attire than the average American. This was not lost on our Brazilian visitor Sergio. In fact, there was a certain cultural nexus and agreement that he felt at the moment. He looked back and forth between Jerri and Monique several times and proceeded to grab a hold of Jerri's athletic short and began to publicly humiliate her. Chiding her for her ugly attire. Monique and her husband looked shocked and appalled. Jerri looked beaten up and passive. I couldn't believe the way Sergio treated his wife and I told him so.
Another time, an old college buddy was visiting from Brooklyn. While I usually don't even answer
the phone while I have company, this time I did. It was Jerri. She was crying and telling me how her husband and she had a fight at a Shoprite Supermarket. He had just left her and their two children there and drove off. She had no way of getting home and wondered if I could pick her up. The worst
event happened after their separation. Sergio had taken his children out for a regular scheduled visitation. When he brought the children home, he got into a fight with Jerri over the supposed dirty condition of the children. He ended up chasing her into a first floor bathroom and hitting her head against the porcelain bath tub. This resulted in a police report. Jerri asked me to accompany her to get an "order of protection" against her husband. I ended up having an ugly encounter with Sergio at Jerri's front door. I may have acted feisty and stood up to him but in reality I was afraid of this man and his temper.
The last straw for me was when Jerri called me up at almost midnight to tell me that when she came home and was straightening up her house, she noticed that the picture of me and her children which, she had placed over her mantle place, had been ripped in half and then placed back in the picture frame. Sergio had been in the house. I was really creeped out about this and perceived this to be a threatening gesture. Jerri felt the same way. I woke up my husband and told him he had to channel his inner marine and speak to this man, which he did. That was the last time that I had seen Sergio, until now. It was sort of ironic that we meet at another Shoprite store a few towns away from where he had left his wife stranded all those years ago.
Sergio said that he wanted "to apologize to me." He told me that he knows "cutting that picture was a stupid thing to do." I told him,"it was more than stupid it was creepy and threatening." He told me he "had seen me a number of times walking around, but thought that it would have been scary if he just ran up to me." I asked him if he was "sincerely apologizing?" He responded that he truly was "sorry." I told him that I forgave him and that I believed people could change. I also told him that I am not perfect and that I make mistakes too. I was happy to receive the apology and reached out my hand to shake Sergio's hand. All this was happening on the checkout line at Shoprite Supermarket. I have no idea if Sergio has changed. In fact, something he said made me think otherwise. Then there was that load of beer in his cart, which his wife thought he had a problem with. All I know is the hope that I
have in Jeaus Christ. The hope of resurrection in all its' manifestations. I know that God lovingly forgives me and that I in return must lovingly forgive others. I see in Sergio the continual struggle that we all must have with our own sin nature. Does forgiveness mean that I trust this guy? Or that I should ignore issues of safety? No, trust must be earned by the exercise of virtue. Being forgiving does not mean that we ignore our personal safety. What I do know is something fantastic happened on the checkout line at Shoprite. This meeting between Sergio and myself was by divine appointment.
Therefore, my schedule for the day included a visit to Jo-Ann's craft store, where I could buy both kids craft supplies and fabric for my project and then heading right next door to a Shoprite Supermarket. I happened to start a conversation with a lovely Christian woman while at the craft store. We conversed about sewing and then bonded over the serious problems facing believers in this day and age. I sent her a link to this blog and told her about my sewing class, hoping that we might meet again. She told me we "met by divine appointment and that we would see each other again." Time seemed to pass so quickly that before I knew it, I had skipped lunch. I had not intended to do this and indeed am like a grouchy bear when I don't eat on time. I brought my shopping bagsfrom Jo-Ann's to the car and then hurried over to Shoprite.
I had a shopping list and hoped that would expedite this chore so I could go home and get a mid-afternoon snack. The store was the size of a football field and I was getting quite a walk as I searched for all my food items. Since this was not my usual shopping venue, I did not know where everything was. As I headed toward the checkout lines, I saw it was quite crowded. I naturally searched for the shortest line as well as the line where people's carts were not so full. I decided to choose a line where a man seemed to have a full cart but actually did not. In surveying his cart, I had noticed that he had a load of Foster's beer cans rolling around the bottom of his cart and a few large chrysanthemums which filled out his cart. I quickly jumped on this line.
While I busied myself checking out the array of women's magazines and snacks lining the aisle, the man greeted me quite unexpectedly with a, " how ya doing today?" I reflexively answered that I was "fine thank you," and continued eyeing snack possibilities. He seemed to be figgiding quite a bit and so I naturally glanced over to size up the situation. I saw a middle-aged man with shorts and a sleeveless sweatshirt. The type of clothing that I assumed meant that he had been out for a jog, or that he had just finished mowing a lawn. Construction perhaps? Something did not seem right with this man and I sensed his discomfiture.
My instinct did not fail me because very shortly after that he addressed me, " you still looking really good." I looked at him more closely this time but did not recognize him. Again, my manners chirped in and I said, "thank you." He replied, " you don't know who I am, do you? Oh, if you did you would not like me." Suddenly, I realized it was Sergio F.*! He had aged quite a bit since I had last seen him about fifteen years ago. His Brazilian accent seemed much thickener than it had been but it was him. I was momentarily stunned and could say nothing. Sergio and I had some run-ins back then. His wife Jerri* and I had struck up a friendship as had our daughters. We had some good times before some unpleasantries began to occur. Jerri had a very difficult second pregnancy. The doctor had told her she needed complete bed rest for the last trimester of her pregnancy. Sergio asked his sister to come up from Brazil and lend a hand while he was at work during this difficult time. Nice, right?
One night, according to Jerri, Sergio's demanding behavior forced her to leave her sick bed. Apparently, the story was he didn't like the food that his sister had prepared for dinner that night. He
yelled at Jerri and so she got up and started to cook some Veal Marsala. She ended up at the emergency room and could have lost her baby. This shocked her, and from then on she began to tell me that she would never forgive him for this. At the time, I told her that I would have just stayed in bed and told my husband they he needed to do a drive-thru at Mc Donald's! I believed that they both had made foolish choices.
Things seemed to change in their marriage after the birth of their second child. Jerri started to believe that Sergio had a secret drinking problem. According to Jerri, he was also a crazy perfectionist who criticized her housework and child rearing practices. He always seemed to feel neglected and disrespected. Jerri was overwhelmed and tired, as she tried to balance the demands of work and family. Their many differences began to take a toll and soon they argued all the time. A few years later there was talk of divorce and sure enough, the couple separated.
My relationship with Sergio had problems both before and after this separation. One time, I had invited Sergio and Jerri to my home for a backyard barbecue. When they arrived it was obvious they had been fighting. They sat down at one of the tables next to me and a Belgian couple, Jean-Luc* and Monique*. Monique was a very beautiful woman both on the inside and on the outside, who was completely devoted to her husband. She, just as many Europeans, choose more dressy attire than the average American. This was not lost on our Brazilian visitor Sergio. In fact, there was a certain cultural nexus and agreement that he felt at the moment. He looked back and forth between Jerri and Monique several times and proceeded to grab a hold of Jerri's athletic short and began to publicly humiliate her. Chiding her for her ugly attire. Monique and her husband looked shocked and appalled. Jerri looked beaten up and passive. I couldn't believe the way Sergio treated his wife and I told him so.
Another time, an old college buddy was visiting from Brooklyn. While I usually don't even answer
the phone while I have company, this time I did. It was Jerri. She was crying and telling me how her husband and she had a fight at a Shoprite Supermarket. He had just left her and their two children there and drove off. She had no way of getting home and wondered if I could pick her up. The worst
event happened after their separation. Sergio had taken his children out for a regular scheduled visitation. When he brought the children home, he got into a fight with Jerri over the supposed dirty condition of the children. He ended up chasing her into a first floor bathroom and hitting her head against the porcelain bath tub. This resulted in a police report. Jerri asked me to accompany her to get an "order of protection" against her husband. I ended up having an ugly encounter with Sergio at Jerri's front door. I may have acted feisty and stood up to him but in reality I was afraid of this man and his temper.
The last straw for me was when Jerri called me up at almost midnight to tell me that when she came home and was straightening up her house, she noticed that the picture of me and her children which, she had placed over her mantle place, had been ripped in half and then placed back in the picture frame. Sergio had been in the house. I was really creeped out about this and perceived this to be a threatening gesture. Jerri felt the same way. I woke up my husband and told him he had to channel his inner marine and speak to this man, which he did. That was the last time that I had seen Sergio, until now. It was sort of ironic that we meet at another Shoprite store a few towns away from where he had left his wife stranded all those years ago.
Sergio said that he wanted "to apologize to me." He told me that he knows "cutting that picture was a stupid thing to do." I told him,"it was more than stupid it was creepy and threatening." He told me he "had seen me a number of times walking around, but thought that it would have been scary if he just ran up to me." I asked him if he was "sincerely apologizing?" He responded that he truly was "sorry." I told him that I forgave him and that I believed people could change. I also told him that I am not perfect and that I make mistakes too. I was happy to receive the apology and reached out my hand to shake Sergio's hand. All this was happening on the checkout line at Shoprite Supermarket. I have no idea if Sergio has changed. In fact, something he said made me think otherwise. Then there was that load of beer in his cart, which his wife thought he had a problem with. All I know is the hope that I
have in Jeaus Christ. The hope of resurrection in all its' manifestations. I know that God lovingly forgives me and that I in return must lovingly forgive others. I see in Sergio the continual struggle that we all must have with our own sin nature. Does forgiveness mean that I trust this guy? Or that I should ignore issues of safety? No, trust must be earned by the exercise of virtue. Being forgiving does not mean that we ignore our personal safety. What I do know is something fantastic happened on the checkout line at Shoprite. This meeting between Sergio and myself was by divine appointment.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)