The Winter of our Discontent?

                                                             Westchester Blizzard


The view in Westchester, New York was rather bleak on January 23rd as Winter Storm Jonas barreled through our county.  Our first snowfall of the season was a doozy, dropping eighteen inches of snow.  The aftermath of a large storm requires days of work to clear roadways, driveways, pathways and to keep these places free of ice.

All of the above is to be expected in January in New York.  However, does that make it any easier?  The answer from what I gather is, no.  For days before the storm, I hear people complaining at supermarkets or any social setting where people gather.  I always resist the urge to follow negative
talk concerning the weather.  People complain about the cold, the work required to clean up snow and generally seem very grouchy.  It doesn't seem like a very God-centric way of looking at things, right?

Evergreen branches look lovely adorned with snow.

Over the years, I have tried to have a good attitude when I go out and shovel only to go outside and hear neighbors tell me how they "can't wait until spring" and "how much" they "hate winter."  My
response is usually to try and say something to uplift them.  It is hard to have a positive attitude when people are constantly speaking negative words in your life yet we must all remember that God promises to give us, " a peace that surpasses all understanding."

That statement is so fraught with meaning.  It would indicate that even faced with eighteen inches of snow and a car completely blocked after the snow plough went down my block that I should have a, "peace that surpasses" the reality of that situation.  It does not mean that God is taking away the hours of shoveling necessary to extricate my car nor that everyone will suddenly develop a good attitude.  What it does mean is that if I keep God foremost in my mind that I will deal with the situation in a relaxed and peaceful way.



       When God gives you ice, make ice lanterns!

So what happened this time to get me to go completely crazy?  Why was I so completely off my    Godly walk?  Don't we all love those times when we are following God closely and nothing can
shake us?  I do.  But what can we learn from those times that we don't?  The Bible reminds us that, "all have sinned, and fallen short of the glory of God" - Romans 3:23.  This confirms what we                       already know, which is that we all make mistakes.  We fail!  God is holy and we are not.
This verse gives us fair warning that we can not help but fall short of the beauty and goodness of our God.

So what happens in life that causes us to fail?  Think of preparing for a snowstorm and it is easy to see how life wears you down.  A few days before the storm, I assessed what shopping needed to be done. While I was stocked for snow removal items, I did need to get to the post office and stock up on a few more food items.  The parking lots and shopping was crazy.  Suddenly no one knows how to drive.  People are double parked blocking other cars.  They are crossing double yellow lines and going down one way lanes in the wrong direction.  There are three shopping carts left and mine is sticky.

The winter landscape

Add to this the constant alarmist weather reports and we go from a normal weather event to a hyped up snowmaggedon.  Our society currently encourages excess.  It makes everything into a reality show full of tantrums, slapping, driving drunk and cruelty.  If we had a Christian reality show imagine the storylines depicted ?  Would they look different?  Unfortunately, I discovered that for me on that snowy  weekend that I looked no different than that world depicted on reality T.V.  I failed in patience and loving my neighbor.  But, the other part of the episode in our Christian reality show depicts us praying and asking God to forgive us and resolving to do better the next time.  That is the difference.

But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.  

- 1 Peter 5:10.

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and 

reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 

I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 

-Philippians 3:13-14. 

                                          Flims, Switzerland

                              Davos, Switzerland

CZEŚĆ TO MY READERS IN POLAND!

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Gossip, Gossip, Gossip!

*Please be advised that there is some mature content in this post.  The names have been changed to protect people's privacy.

The topic this week is gossip.  What is it?  The definition of gossip points to irresponsible and irreverent speech about someone's life or hurtful talk which is carried on behind someone's back. Gossip is everywhere!  It is present in all our institutions such as: school, church, family and workplace.  There are reality shows about it, as well as magazine and internet sites dedicated to all the latest celebrity scandals.  Gossip is a billion dollar business.  But what effect does it have on those targeted?

Today I would like to focus on the damage that it can have in a school setting.  School is suppose to be a place that first and foremost provides each of it's students with a safe setting in which to develop academically and emotionally.  However, when cliques form, very often the outsider is targeted and victimized by gossip.

School settings are not the optimum place to teach responsible speech.  The home and church setting are where it should be taught with the schools playing the role of reinforcing the message.  We can not simply hope and pray 

that a school and all its' teachers will reflect godly values 

because the Bible places that responsibility on a parent and Church. We will be accountable to God for what we teach.  Our speech everyday to children and those around us teach others what we think is okay and what is not.

Here are some stories from Westchester, New York which have caused me to reflect and pray about destructive gossip and for the people it affects.

Many Catholic parents send their elementary school children 

to C.C.D. classes once a week after school to learn the tenets 

of their religion.  Attendance was taken one day and when a young lady Dakota did not respond to the roll call, the teacher inquired if anyone had seen her that day.  A popular boy on the football team responded that "Dakota was probably absent due to a hangover!"  The boy was a class clown and some of the boys from his football team looked up to him.  The irony of a boy shouting out such a hurtful thing
in a religious education class was not lost on the teacher.  Dakota was an overweight, awkward girl who found comfort and meaning in her study of scriptures.  She was also someone who was the brunt of jokes even when not present.

Amanda was a cheerleader in high school.  She was part of a popular group of girls who walked down the halls in matching clothes everyday.  They would call each other each night and plan their look for the next day.  Amanda didn't have as much money as the other girls but could easily guilt
trip her divorced parents into buying her the accessories and designer duds necessary.  As they walked down the hall, 

these girls literally pushed students out of the way as they ruled through intimidation.  

Amanda was good at this.  She was the loudest and meanest of the group.  However, she also wasn't as pretty or skinny as the other girls and she was a little too loud.  The other girls started to grow tired of her overbearing nature and began to 

gossip about her when she wasn't around.  Amanda noticed the subtle changes in the way she was treated.  She noticed they would stop talking when she walked into class and even though she redoubled her efforts to please them, it only got worse.  The girls started to ridicule her on social media and Amanda had a total break with reality.  She took to social media herself with a crazy rant and a threat to "slit their 

throats."  When the teens saw this, they informed their
parents who alerted the police.  

Jake had forced his girlfriend La-trice to "sext" him a picture of her breasts. They had been dating for a few months and La-trice wanted so much to please him but she knew that she should say no.  He constantly tried to talk her into having sex and because she came from a Christian home she knew that this was not God's will and she resisted.  Fearful that she 

would loose him because they were not having sex, she
thought this might help her hold on to him.

Since La-trice was a freshman, she did not realize that Jake's popularity in his three years of high school emanated from the naked photos he would cajole girls into making and the lying, malicious gossip that he spread about these innocent girls.  La-trice's church and family were unable to help her
because they didn't know and were too embarrassed to discuss these topics.

Finally, Juan had no idea why everyone was laughing at him and throwing nasty comments at him when he returned to school after a bad case of the flu.  He was still physically wiped out because this case of the flu had some serious complications.  He was more worried about catching up on his classwork and being prepared for upcoming tests.  Yet he
couldn't help thinking, "what does everyone know that I don't?"  It would take him weeks to figure out that there was 

a rumor that someone got suspended for carrying a knife to 

school and Juan's classmates just concluded that it had to 

be Juan because of his long absence.  

The Bible has much to say about gossip.  In these days 

where the power of social media has far reaching effects, and the cost of gossip is very high, it is essential that we examine and study what God says about this topic.  Proverbs 18:21 states that, " Death and life are in the power of the tongue." This is a very strong statement and we should not 

minimize it.  If your  doctor told you that he or she had a life and death matter to talk to you about, I am pretty sure that 

you would pay attention.  God is telling us just that.  The news is that we all have a lethal weapon in our mouth! 

We use our mouths to kill people as surely as if we used a gun.  I hope that this is a wake up call for all those who think that there is nothing wrong with a little gossip.  The words we say about others  : what we think they look like, lies we 

tell about them hurt so deeply that we can make people sick, even suicidal.  We are responsible to God for what we say and do.

Leviticus, a Book of the Law, which God gave as a code of conduct, states it very plainly : "You shall not go about as a tale-bearer among your people; nor shall you take a stand against your neighbor : I am the Lord." Leviticus 19:16.  Gossip is such an important topic to God.  Notice the style of language in this verse.  It is written in the style of one of the Ten Commandments, isn't it? 

What can we do?

1.Refuse to be a part of it.  Proverbs 26:20 says : "Where there is no wood, the fire goes out ; and where there is no tale-bearer strife ceases."  We often fan the flames of the gossip in our schools.  By laughing at bad jokes or telling someone the latest gossip, we are part of what keeps a 

malicious story going.  But check out the last part of that verse which explains that getting rid of gossip in our schools will get rid of one of the sources of conflict that exist there.  Shouldn't we give that a try? 

2. Examine your friendships : Sometimes redirecting a conversation away from gossip onto something positive solves the problem.  Other times we can use the conflict resolution advise of Matthew 18:15 which directs us to take our friend aside and explain the problem that we are having with that person's gossip.  Should our friends show a consistent pattern of gossip and a resistance to change we need to lift them up in prayer and find ourselves some new friends because, "Bad company corrupts good behavior." 1 Corinthians 15:13.

3. Getting to the root of the problem :

Gossip is a behavior which begins in our hearts.  Jesus stated this in Matthew 15:18: " For those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and defile a man."  If we catch ourselves speaking or going along with gossip then we must take some time to examine our hearts.  Is gossip the habit in our home? Do we hate someone because they are dating someone that we like? Do we feel going along with gossip helps us to fit in with classmates?  While these are some reasons that we may have slipped into gossip, none of these reasons makes it right.  

4. Pray and resolve to change : Ask God to forgive you for the things that you have said which weren't right.  Also pray that God will help you develop a new attitude.  Here are some scriptures to live by :

John 15:12 - "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." 

Ephesians 4:29-32-"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

Luke 6:31-"And as you wish that others would do to you,do so to them."

Electronic Madness : questions we need to ask

Electronic devices have taken hold of our world and have it in a chokehold, and we have no one to blame but ourselves.  Here is a list of places that I have seen a big screen television : doctor's waiting rooms, restaurants, delis, airport lounges, and in the lobby of a library.  That last one makes less sense than all the others.  

This past week I returned a DVD to White Plains Library for a friend and I was shocked to see CNN news playing in the library lobby.  Have the libraries just become a place to borrow DVD's and given up their founding role to promote literacy?  I would rather have had a choice of newspapers or news magazines promoted.  What excuses have we made for it?

Is it the babysitter of choice for your children? Will it keep them occupied and quiet while you drive or make dinner? Is it "de rigeur" that your teen watch a certain program in his or her circle of friends? What about sitting and mindlessly watching a show to unwind from the stress of your day?  Could you maybe talk to someone and share your feelings instead?  Don't know how?  Maybe you have better relationships on social media than in real life.

When was the last time that you sat down at a restaurant and somebody didn't check their phones or take stupid pictures of everything?  A friend described how everyone at a recent family barbecue were more engaged in their phones than one another.  Is this quality time?

If this discussion is making you vaguely uncomfortable you or your children may be addicted to your devices.  Some of my personal experiences make me very concerned.  Children who are toddlers should be engaged in mastering the mechanics of their new found mobility and exploring the REAL world around them through sight, sound, and touch.  They should have a person naming objects and stimulating speech.  

What I see instead is toddlers staring blankly at screens,laying on parents laps or in carriages in perfect contentment.  This in contrast to the true nature of toddlers which are best described by the term, "terrible two's."  Between tantrums and pushing the adult envelopes in every way possible, toddlerhood is a time of great intellectual, physical, and emotional growth.  Many parents believe that their children will be technologically and educationally enriched by their exploration of computer technology and will pay any price, whether they can afford it or not, to make it happen.

I have heard of more than a few teenagers in Westchester County being diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome.  And, I see so many teenagers absorbed in their phones or shut off to conversation with earplugs that it has become the norm.  All of the above referenced behavior points to an out-of-balance media obsession.  Yet the Bible tells us in Philippians 4:5- "Let your moderation be known unto all men."  It is not so much that technology hasn't blessed us in many ways but that we must be moderate in it's uses.  

If your teenager is too busy gaming to help shovel the snow or go shopping for grandma something is wrong.  Are we so wrapped up in our headphones listening to music that we fail to see someone in need?  As Christians we aim to be " in the world but not of it."  Our lives reflect the technological age in which we live but our use of it reflects our relationship with God.  Looking at my above photos shows you some of my strategies for keeping  balance.  One of my televisions has a "W.W.J.D." sign in front of it.  "W.W.J.D." stands for What Would Jesus Do.  My computer sits next to a cross reminding me that I am running this race for God, and a sign pronouncing that Jesus has called me out of darkness!  Learning and using technology can help us advance the Kingdom of God here on earth but if we reflect the world that won't happen.  

Beneath the Surface-Part 2

                                                                     

In "Beneath the Surface-Part 1," I discuss demons and drug addiction.  In Part 2, I will discuss the confluence of sin with drug addiction and begin a discussion of how to spiritually help someone who is struggling with addiction.

SIN AND ADDICTION

1. Beginnings

Not every addict has demonic overtones to their addiction but all have a spiritual condition of sin.  The Bible from beginning to end has much to say about intoxication.  When I was in High School, I actively studied all religions and even explored atheism.  Yet, from time to time, I would be drawn to the Bible.  During those times I felt drawn to the Book of Proverbs.  Little did I know then, that Proverbs has always been a study tool for young Jewish boys approaching Bar Mitzvah.  No wonder I was drawn to that Book.  It seemed to explore all the issues that I was trying to make sense of as a teenager.  One of those issues was drinking and drugs.

The first time I was offered drugs, was when I was 13 years old, I said no.  I had no idea what a big issue drugs was about to become as I entered High School. In High School, it seemed like practically everybody was doing drugs or drinking alcohol.  Saying no to drugs seemed to make one a permanent member of the uncool underclass.  During those perplexing days, sitting down with the Bible, was so refreshing and everything it said in Proverbs made sense to me.  I wanted to live my life the way it spoke of, and stay away from the madness I saw around me.  Some of my favorite scripture verses from Proverbs were :

"Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging : and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise."
Proverbs 20:1.

"Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat." Proverbs 23:20 (NIV).

"Who hath woe?  Who hath sorrow?  Who hath contentions?  Who hath babbling?  Who hath wounds without cause?  Who has redness of eyes?"  Proverbs 23:29.

"In the end, it bites like a snake and poisons like a viper."  Proverbs 23:32.

These four quotes alone blew my mind.  Here in a nutshell was everything I was noticing at school.  I saw fights breaking out, and kids who lead problem-free lives suddenly beset on all sides.  Kids who were full of promise suddenly turned into babbling idiots who had nothing to contribute.  I was not quite ready to tell my parents everything that was going on in school but I now thank God that His Word kept me on the straight and narrow as far as drugs were concerned.  In the end, I saw that drugs and alcohol were poison to all those that I knew who partook of it. How true the Word of God is!

 
2. Adam and Eve

Nothing ever changes.  Every story that I have ever heard about the beginnings of an addiction start
out just like the story of Adam and Eve.  First off, in today's world everyone has heard over an over
from parents, teachers and pastors about staying away from drugs.  There is absolutely no one who can say that they were not forewarned, and so it was with Adam and Eve.  You can eat of all the other trees, just stay away from THAT TREE!  Why don't we listen?

The answers can be gleaned from a close perusal of the Story of Adam and Eve.  The forbidden fruit appeals to a rebellious spirit within us wishing to have parity or even superiority to our parents or
God.  So, actually, a decision to take drugs is identical to that decision whereby sin first entered into the world.  The Bible tells us that rebellion and sin will ultimately lead us away from a relationship with God and everything else that we hold dear.  Adam and Eve lost an amazing closeness with God and were cast out from the Garden of Eden.  There were many consequences that they would suffer as a result of saying yes to sin.

What else can we learn from the story of Adam and Eve which will help us get insight into how addictions begin? First that societies throughout history have depicted drugs and alcohol as mind expanding experiences exactly as Satan depicted things to Eve.  Eating from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil would expand her horizons so that she would know all the mysteries of the universe.  People throughout history have mistakenly gotten addicted to drugs in a quest to expand their knowledge, creativity or strength.

We are often told that addictions begin in an effort to medicate some condition or numb some pain.  In reality, this life contains painful chapters for each and every one of us and saying yes to any drug, will have the opposite effect of helping us feel better or giving us relief.  It will instead eventually multiply our sorrows in a way that we can not imagine.  What can we do?

3. Solutions in God

We are all sinners.  Do you struggle with shopping too much, lying, forgiveness or lust?  All sin is wrong to a righteous God.  Let us all realize that in a very real way we are no different than a drug addict needing a fix.  When dealing with an addict let us start from a place of love and humility.  Our first step in solutions is letting go of any moral sense of superiority that we may feel over an addict.  We must all work on our problems with sin.  The good news is that Jesus died for all our sins and as we have established, addictions are sin!  So,  addictions are going to have to bite the dust!  Science tells us that in a surprisingly short time that  we can undergo a detoxification from an addictive substance.  Medicine does confirm that there is much more that has to happen in order to be in so-called recovery.  The Bible has been there and done that already.  Read these verses from Matthew 12:43-45 (KJV).
43"When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none. 44Then he saith, I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he findeth [it] empty, swept, and garnished. 45Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last [state] of that man is worse than the first."

The imagery in the above verses show us the realities of battling sin.  After we have victory and 
conquer sin in our life we need to understand that sin will return and invite us to say yes to it again.  
The temptation may even be more powerful.  So, let's say that a son or daughter kicks an 
addiction but a few years down the line they lose a job, get a divorce or their grandfather dies, the craving will return.  We must be ready for it.

Strategies

1. Realize that God is our Salvation and through Jesus Christ we can be victorious.  Never give up hope for those people that you know struggling with addiction. 
2. Pray and ask God for the strength to persevere in the situation.  
3. We have to begin to change our life in a meaningful way.  If you are an addict that includes staying 
away from people and activities that can be a bad influence.  Family members must support this.  Even something as simple as a television show or serving wine at supper  can challenge someone on a bad day. 
4. We must attend Church regularly and develop closer relationships with other 
 Christians in our family and at Church.  Christians who are supportive of these goals. 
5. Get into a Bible Study and begin to claim God's promises.

We must keep it real if we are to stay clean and sober or be a positive influence in an addict's life.  If your Church has never preached on the topic of addictions let them know that you would appreciate it if they did.  Real means that if you are in a dead Church or Bible Study get out.   

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Notes on my photos : top two were taken from museums in Loire Valley, France followed by a sculpture depicting a risen Jesus Christ from Italy and a stained glass window from a Cathedral in Bermuda.