When Churches Hurt

They say, April showers bring May flowers.  And, indeed, there were green shoots and swollen sheathes covering emergent buds in my garden as I ran out, on a cold and rainy April morning.  I was heading to Whole Foods in White Plains, New York to have some coffee and conversation.  I was really looking forward to a break from my busy week.

Contractors have just completed five weeks of work on my kitchen remodel.  I spent a lot of time and energy getting this project underway. It took me a long time to finally choose flooring, wallpaper, and appliances. I purchased unique cabinet pulls from the store Anthropolgie in the Westchester Mall.  I bought a handmade Italian chandelier from La Dentelliere, a store located in charming downtown Scarsdale.  I also highly recommend Marble Works if you live in Westchester and are looking for a new kitchen countertop.  For the past two weeks, it seems that, every spare second that I have has been spent getting my kitchen back together.  I'm still not done.  I couldn't find my can opener the other night when I was making dinner.  My husband had to take the can of diced tomatoes to his workshop and do something to it to get it opened.  I really don't want to think about that too much.

So, although I felt a little guilty abandoning my ongoing job of reorganizing and repositioning every little citrus peeler and herb stripper into my new kitchen, I thought I could really use a break for my sanity.  I was due to meet Lyndsey* at Whole Foods at 10:30 am. The next two hours after that, went by very quickly.  Lyndsey and I shared coffee, and many meaningful topics of importance to each of us.  One such topic concerned mistreatment by local churches.  Unfortunately, this is far from a unique occurrence here in Westchester County.  What can we learn from these dysfunctional churches and how can they improve?  Over the years, I have dealt with instances of mistreatment in churches
(so have my family, and friends). From small to large all the incidents were downright sinful.

One such story involved Pastor C******.  Pastor C***** was a gifted evangelist.  When Kathy* invited me to her Church I was immediately aware of that.  He expertly explained the Bible, and had the right mixture of stories added in to help people relate God's Word more to their lives. As time went on, I could see some abuse of power starting to drift in.  When he disagreed with a ministry leader or a congregant, he played it out during services.  He even slipped in references to the problem in his sermons. He used his power in the pulpit as a "bully pulpit" to disparage and argue his case. Nothing seemed righteous about that.  The Pastor had departed from the perfect conflict resolution guide, the Bible.  In the Gospel of Matthew 18:15, it talks of trying to settle a matter between two people by themselves, if possible.  If that does not work, Pastor C******should have brought in another Christian to mediate, etc.  His personal public relations stunts from the pulpit also intimidated congregants to do or think as he did or face the same public humiliation. This was worldly justice, not godly justice.

Then there was Emily,* a Christian from Michigan, who met her husband in college and ended up moving to the Westchester area.  Her husband was a successful businessman.  They had the perfect Tudor house on the best street in town.  But, all was not well on the inside of that perfect Tudor house on the best street in town.  Emily had been in denial about her ever increasing marital problems.  After giving birth to the couples third child their problems seemed to go from bad to worse.  Busier than ever with the ongoing needs of her children, she felt her husband grew even more distant just when she needed him most.  Her family network was in Michigan, and that long distance just added to Emily's growing sense of isolation and loneliness.

Desperate one night, she headed out to a Midweek Prayer service in town.  Earlier in the week, she had seen the sign on this beautiful stone edifice advertising a Midweek Prayer Service.  Need prayer? Wednesday's -at 7 pm.  What she described in her experience that evening, let me know what this church was really all about.  Instead of uplifting her needs through prayer, they became quite
uncomfortable with Emily as she tearfully described her marital problems.  Emily felt rejected and
alone, and more depressed than ever.  She had broken an unspoken rule of this church without realizing it.  That rule is: let's pray for Aunt Sally's hip replacement or for Joe to get a job but let's not talk about anything too unpleasant like marital trouble, drug addiction or mental illness.  There is so much wrong with that, where do I begin?

Two more examples : when Pastor D**** went to a Pastors conference he came back a changed man.  It was like he caught a virus.  This virus makes you change the name of your church, be all about the youth, the numbers and open a coffee bar.  He also announced that his new philosophy included "not worrying so much about you if you were saved." Yes, Jesus left the whole flock of sheep to save the one lost sheep, but what Pastor D**** was suggesting did not seem to fit the full picture of the Good Shepherd.  Then there was the Church of ******.  When a friend heard that I was going to a church picnic there, she emailed a newspaper article to me suggesting this church is one of two cults operating in Westchester County (the other is the Rev. Moon's Church).  I read how former members of that church felt pressured to give a certain amount of money weekly and how their personal lives were closely monitored and controlled.  Why is it so many churches get it so wrong?  The obvious answer is sin.  The not so obvious answers are biblical illiteracy or interpretation errors.

Let's examine these few stories and see our first point of interest : leadership problems.  To clarify, let me start by saying that Jesus is the head of our Church and all priests, pastors, and believers are under His authority.  Once, the Israelites were ruled  solely by God Almighty.  That is, until the people demanded a King as well.  The story of King Saul's corruption and abuse of power points us to the fact that it is best to be ruled by God alone.  It also points to the struggle that mankind has to correctly administer the authority that is given us.  King David, the next King of Israel, although flawed, chose repentance.  David's story helps us to realize that our Pastors will not be perfect but the humble and
repentant among them may, "be a man after (God's) mine own heart."-1 Samuel 13:14.  King Solomon's sin caused the Kingdom of Israel to be divided.  From this we learn that sin by our church leaders have serious consequences.

The second point of interest in the above stories regards prayer and worship.  The Bible makes it clear that we can't fake it with God Almighty.  But, that doesn't stop us from trying to fake it with
God and with one another.  We see this in our communities, including our churches.  Sometimes we are more interested in impressing one another than we are in the truth.  We are afraid people would judge us if they knew the truth about us.  Or sometimes, we just want to feel superior to other people. This is not okay with God.  The truth is, we need to beseech God frequently concerning the topics of marital problems, addictions and mental health problems since all communities face these issues.  We need to be a comfort to those individuals and families struggling in these areas. We should examine our conscience to see if we can be more loving in these sorts of situations.  Remember God answers prayers.  How can we miss even one opportunity at Midweek to pray with energy and fervor concerning the real needs facing each and everyone of us?
  
As for Pastor D**** or Church of ******, they are examples of churches trying to make it happen all by themselves.  Pastor D**** is now running his church like a business.  He is following all the
trends, but I do not remember hearing him hold a prayer service before making large changes to the
church, something even a godly business owner would do.  I'm not sure Pastor D**** would even
know what to do if an electromagnetic pulse destroyed his ability to post his selfies on social media.
Words of wisdom for Pastor D**** are that God will direct and that God isn't just about the youth.

God created us with free will.  So, the desire to control our congregants is in opposition to our creator's plan for us.  It is understandable that a church, such as Church of ******, or an individual
would want to control those around them.  We see parents who are too controlling.  We see this occurring in dating situations.  However, this is not God's way and we need to try to get in line with His (God's) way of doing things.  This is what ultimately shows the power of God.  Here are some Bible verses to inspire us.

I. LEADERSHIP 

Exodus 18:21King James Version (KJV)

21 Moreover thou shalt provide out of all the people able men, such as fear God, men of truth, hating covetousness; and place such over them, to be rulers of thousands, and rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens.

1 Peter 2:9King James Version (KJV)

9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light.

II. PRAYER

James 5:16King James Version (KJV)

16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Psalm 35:13King James Version (KJV)

13 But as for me, when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth: I humbled my soul with
 fasting; and my prayer returned into mine own bosom.

III. COMPASSION 

 1 Samuel 23:21
21 And Saul said, Blessed be ye of the Lord; for ye have compassion on me.

1 Corinthians 13
1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as a sounding brass,or a tinkling cymbal.

*Names are changed.

Passover to Easter

In recent years I have chosen to include elements of the Passover Seder in my Easter celebration.  I now can't imagine Easter without the matzo. There are many foods which symbolize the story of Passover but none more so than the matzo.  The bread with no leavening agent could be quickly prepared and eaten as God's plan for the Jewish people was dramatically coming into fruition. If you would like to know more about Passover, read Exodus, the second book in the Bible. Exodus 12:14 tells us : Seven days you shall eat unleavened bread.  On the first day you shall remove leaven from your houses.  For whoever eats leavened bread from the first day until the seventh day, that person shall be cut off from Israel.  Leaven throughout the Bible is symbolic of sin.  As I eat the matzo, I recall 1Corinthians 5:7 which says : "Therefore purge out the old leaven, that you may be a new lump, since you truly are unleavened.  For indeed Christ our Passover, was sacrificed for us."

Another Passover tradition that points to Jesus is the hiding of the matzo at the beginning of the Seder.  A matzo is broken in half and a piece of it is wrapped in linen or a napkin and hidden until the end of the meal.  There are many traditions and explanations concerning why this is done.  But, it most definitely represents the Moshiach or Messiah to come.  In essence, as the first redemption of the Jewish people is celebrated during Passover, there is another hidden redemption yet to come.  This broken matzo so clearly represents Jesus being broken for us.  The sinless or leaven-free bread is symbolic of our sinless Lord.  The linen or cloth is like the funeral garb that Jesus wore.  Further, the matzo is hidden as Jesus was hidden behind the stone.  And just as Jesus was resurrected, this matzo reappears at meals end.

God had chosen the Jewish people for a very unique role in history.  He had chosen them to be separate and different from those around them and to enter into a special relationship with Him.  A relationship that still exists today.  Being in a relationship with God gave them: rights, responsibilities and protection.  That relationship would come to include circumcision, a miraculous escape from Egypt, and the gift of the Ten Commandments on Mount Sinai. As the time of Passover came for the enslaved Jews of Egypt, the long-awaited promise that God had made to Abraham, of a homeland for his people, had finally arrived.

For the past two years, I have bought matzo shmurah which is made by hand at the Lubavitch Matzoh Bakery in Brooklyn, N.Y.  Shmurah is from the Hebrew word meaning watched.  This Word refers to the responsibility that God gave the Jewish people to tell the story of Passover.  It means that the special Passover bread is watched, throughout its entire production from crops to final production, to ensure that no chametz (leaven) is present.  I find immense meaning in this.  The message of the Bible is to tell the story and in doing so, we continue in it and give others a chance to know the Lord God almighty.  A profound connection exists between Passover and Easter, including the fact that Jesus' last supper was a Passover Seder.  Adding elements of the Passover Seder in my Easter celebration has helped me be ever mindful of how God's redemption of the Jewish people preshadowed His ultimate plan of salvation for all mankind.

Resurrection Apostasy?

A recent visit to the library with a Christian friend inspired this weeks' blog post.

In the weeks before Easter, my thoughts turn to decorating my home to celebrate this upcoming holiday.  Then, I decide on a menu for the day.  This menu invariably includes the traditional lamb, ham in some form, and spring vegetables such as carrots and asparagus.  Somewhere in the scurry of activities there is always Easter egg decorating.

Over the years, I and my children have done everything that can possibly be done to an egg.  We have  dyed them with vegetables, bedazzled, decoupaged, and tried the traditional Ukrainian decorating technique with wax and stylus to create "pysanka."  As a Christian, I have always been mindful to remind my children of the meaning of the holiday, emphasizing the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as propitiation for us all.  In age appropriate ways, I also made them aware of the pagan background of many of our current Easter customs.

When you decide to live the Christian life, you will begin to see the constant confrontation of pagan context to your daily life.  No where is the war more prevalent than in our life celebrations.  This war was again brought to mind when a Christian friend saw me peruse a book at the local library about Easter egg decorating.  Perhaps not in a library voice he opinied that, "no Christian should be decorating Easter eggs or having Easter egg hunts."  He also has let me know on a number of occasions that he would prefer to call it, "Ressurection Day" instead of "Easter."  My first thought was here we go again, it's the holiday wars!  We could equally be talking about Halloween or even the traditions of Christmas.

Of course my friend is probably correct in his assertation that the name "Easter" derives from the name of a goddess figure from German culture named Ēostre.  (Although scholars have argued for centuries that a goddess by that name never existed.) My friend further correctly points out that the Easter egg itself is rooted in ancient pagan beliefs.  The egg represented the rebirth of the earth in spring to many a culture who had cold and snowy winters.  It was a reminder that just as the egg broke forth with new life (chick), that the earth would burst forth with the new life of spring.  It goes well beyond that of course with worship of the sun and fertility practices associated with these beliefs.

When Christianity came into many of these cultures it tried to appropriate the words and symbols of the various Spring festivals to point to the resurrection of Jesus Christ.  Did these Christians ever completely succeed in dispelling ancient pagan practices and beliefs?  I believe the answer is no.  The traditional Ukrainian Easter egg tells the story.  In it you will see symbols of its' ancient religion as well as Christianity.  What are some of the things that we have come to mix-in with this Christian celebration? For starters, there is a mythical gift giver called the Easter Bunny.  Then chocolate, jelly beans and ham.  As we approach the holiest day on the Christian calendar we find ourselves hiding eggs with gifts inside or organizing masses of hysterical children into relay teams trying to pass eggs from one to the other via a spoon.  Does this seem right?

Yet, I have been hesitant to completely stop the cultural practices just described.  Every year I ask myself if it is possible to have Jesus' death and resurrection as the defining core of my existence and still give a nod to prevalent cultural practices.  Most people don't even know who the ancient goddess Ēostre is, let alone worship her.  If the theory that there never was a goddess with that exact name is correct, what are we even arguing about?  Can we as Christians just enjoy decorating eggs or our homes to celebrate the joys of the spring season for fun without compromising our walk with the Lord?

The only churches that have successfully excised all ancient pagan spring practices from their midst seem to be those who have cut themselves off from the greater culture in some huge way.  Yet, the Bible tells us to "be in the world and not of it."  I think we do have to work really hard to make sure that God is the center of all our celebrations.  We can not afford to be naive about how what starts out as an innocent game or tradition might compromise our faith in God.  So, be careful and be aware that we as Christians walk on a narrow path.  The Bible is the story of people who had these very dilemmas.  People who lived in cultures which were in opposition to our God.  They had to say no to some things, they had to fight for their beliefs and so must we.  I pray that Almighty God strengthens each and every one of us.
Next Week : Continuing thoughts on Easter.