Statistics released in the United States recently, reveal an uptick in its' suicide rates since the year 2000. This, just after a slew of celebrity suicides have occurred. However, a careful look at worldwide statistics reveal that suicide has touched all the nations of this world and some much more than the United States.
As I perused the many headlines and articles devoted to explaining the recent suicides of celebrities such as Kate Spade, and Anthony Bourdain, what was missing was any notion of a spiritual context. What has to happen spiritually to a person before they contemplate suicide? For one thing, they must feel existentially alone.
Feeling existentially alone is a process. It does not just happen. Are we really alone? The answer to that is NO. It just feels that way some times, but we must resist that feeling and understand that this is a false reality that can change at any moment. Sometimes, we are isolated because of actions we have taken. Such was the case with Denic*.
Denic constantly complained about how awful his family was. He had come from a large family in the Ukraine but he always seemed to be squabbling with one or all of them. His sadness was terrible during holidays and his birthday. He felt misunderstood and rejected. Things got worse for Denic when the woman of his dreams broke off their relationship.
He was near emotional collapse. He felt that things could not possibly get better. Yet, he had simply got it all wrong. His family deeply loved him, as did his girlfriend. How could everything seem so wrong to Denic but not be as hopeless as he thought? The answer is as I have suggested; Denic was not seeing things as they really were.
The Bible first and foremost informs us that we must, think about our behavior. Specifically, Haggai 1:5-6 says: "Now therefore thus saith the Lord of hosts; consider your ways. Ye have sown much, and bring in little; ye eat, but ye have not enough; ye drink but never have your fill." This verse appears to have been written for Denic.
Something that we or Denic should remember when a relationship seems to take a turn for the worse is to ask ourself if we have been listening to what that person has communicated to us. A careful review of past conversations or arguments will usually reveal the problem. In Denic's case, those answers would go far to improving all his relationships.
You see, Denic had a bad habit of talking at people rather than to people. People in his life grew frustrated because they felt he never listened to them. He was bossy and domineering and often though he was smarter than everyone around him. He had attained his doctorate degree at the University and loved to shove that into arguments too.
None of us are perfect and when we see our professional or family relations go sour, we would do well to think of what we might do better. This requires being humble of course, but at the end of the day, please believe me, we would all be happier if we did this. Being Denic is so very hard. No one wants to play with the kid who never loses the game and how does Denic handle it when he inevitably fails? The answer is he goes into a deep depression. Is this what happened to Kate Spade or Anthony Bourdain? Perhaps.
We learn in the Bible that only God is perfect. We further learn that in our weakness God will show His strength and carry us through the situation. Why don't we just lean on God? I don't know about you, but it is such a relief to know that I don't have to be perfect.
It surprises many people how often the Bible references and discusses the circumstances of suicide. God in His infinite love and wisdom has given us His Holy Word the Bible to teach us and help us to have the right mindset on matters of life and death. Among other things that I have learned about suicide in the Bible is that it has a variety of causes : fear, guilt, depression, failure, illness and hopelessness.
Every cause of suicide is countered in the Bible with equal but opposite principles. Instead of fear we can gain strength from God. (Don't fear, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name; you are mine-Isaiah 43:1) Instead of guilt, we can know that when we turn our lives over to Jesus that our guilt and shame were taken by Him on the cross. (Looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God- Hebrews 12:2)
In place of depression we can see God gives us comfort. (The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in Spirit- Psalm 34:18) There is healing spiritually, first and foremost but God also heals physically. (When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick-Matthew14:14) God gives us hope instead of hopelessness if only we will turn to him. (Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you, he will never let the righteous be shaken- Psalm 55:22.)
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord- Romans 8:38-39.
*Names changed to protect the identity.
Thursday, June 21, 2018
Friday, June 8, 2018
Marriage Retreat
A short time ago, my husband and I went on a Marriage Retreat Weekend. It is held every year at the Tuscarora Inn and Christian Convention Center, in Mount Bethel, Pennsylvania. It is deeply impactful and meaningful to attend such an event and to reflect upon the meaning of marriage and think about your marriage in particular.
Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."
Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."
For weeks before the event occurred, I kept feeling like I had too much to do to get away. Then, just days before we were slated to attend the event, I started to get nervous thinking about all the issues that could come up and how imperfect our marriage really was. Why is it that we take better care of our cars than our marriages?
1 Peter 4:8: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
My father told me to always take care of my car. "Make sure you change your oil regularly, rotate those tires, and winterize your car before the onset of bad weather." I enjoyed splashing around with the garden hose during the many times my father would regularly wash and wax his car. I think that I was more prepared for having a clean and well-maintened vehicle than a thriving marriage. In case you're wondering, my car looks great!
When we arrived, I only knew one couple from our church, Ben* and Jean.* Everyone except us seemed to know each other. A number of church groups came together. **Note to self: get together a church group for next year! In the course of the weekend that would all change and I would make deep an meaningful connections with other married couples.
Hebrews 10:24-25: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."
Tuscarora is perfectly situated on the beautiful Delaware river. It is a deeply peaceful place where one can truly leave the world behind and take time to relax, re-tool and re-focus. After dinner on Friday night we had an amazing husband and wife team from a local church open the event with carefully chosen worship songs which helped me prepare my heart and quite my mind as we prepared to hear the message about marriage.
On to the stage, walked a small and unassuming 79 year old couple named Gordon and Gail MacDonald. The husband and wife were both soft spoken with the husband exuding a shy and frail presence. They settled into two talk show host style chairs and proceeded to do a sound check. The couple introduced themselves and shared the format that their discussions would follow. The unusual technique involved them facing each other, and not the audience. From the audiences perspective it felt at first as if were somehow eavesdropping on a couples private conversation.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."
Later, it felt as if we had the good fortune of being on the inside of a half-century old marriage and could learn all of the inside secrets. I believe that is exactly what they had in mind as they went down memory lane and gave a decade-by-decade, blow-by-blow account of their life. With special emphasis upon the challenges that each age and stage of marriage brings, they were able to prepare their audience for what the problems might be.
Mark 10:9: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.
As they did this, there were plenty of scriptures and positive God-centered advise on how to overcome theses common pitfalls. Life gets busy. Every day there are many things that need to be done: taking the garbage out, washing the dishes, laundry, work, school, sports, friend, and family commitments. Sometimes a couple simply grows apart due to the pressures and responsibilities of their life. In this flurry of activity please make sure to invest time and energy into making your marriage grow. It is not easy. I know, because my husband and I came to a point in our lives where we did not make that a priority and we both suffered the consequences.
Malachi 2:14-15: “But you say, 'Why does he not?' Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant."
Attending a marriage retreat is one way to divorce proof a marriage. No doubt, It will take you out of your comfort zone as it did me. But, you can rest assured that you will leave the marriage retreat a better person than when you came. That is the reason I learned, that many people return to these events, year after year.
Ephesians 4:2-3: “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."
1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."
Later, it felt as if we had the good fortune of being on the inside of a half-century old marriage and could learn all of the inside secrets. I believe that is exactly what they had in mind as they went down memory lane and gave a decade-by-decade, blow-by-blow account of their life. With special emphasis upon the challenges that each age and stage of marriage brings, they were able to prepare their audience for what the problems might be.
Mark 10:9: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.
As they did this, there were plenty of scriptures and positive God-centered advise on how to overcome theses common pitfalls. Life gets busy. Every day there are many things that need to be done: taking the garbage out, washing the dishes, laundry, work, school, sports, friend, and family commitments. Sometimes a couple simply grows apart due to the pressures and responsibilities of their life. In this flurry of activity please make sure to invest time and energy into making your marriage grow. It is not easy. I know, because my husband and I came to a point in our lives where we did not make that a priority and we both suffered the consequences.
Malachi 2:14-15: “But you say, 'Why does he not?' Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant."
Attending a marriage retreat is one way to divorce proof a marriage. No doubt, It will take you out of your comfort zone as it did me. But, you can rest assured that you will leave the marriage retreat a better person than when you came. That is the reason I learned, that many people return to these events, year after year.
Ephesians 4:2-3: “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."
*names are changed. **Note to self.
Friday, June 1, 2018
What The Devil is Wrong?
A deep spiritual malaise exists in many areas of our world today. In our homes, schools and workplaces there are many dark situations. We see this manifested in different ways: selfish attitudes, bullying, lack of purpose, superficiality and worse. This does not bode well for the greater society since the above mentioned institutions are foundational to the teaching, maintaining and promoting of a happy and well-functioning society. Some headlines bring this to mind.
HOME: While many are laughing about the thirty year old New York man, whose parents were forced to take him to court in order to get him out of their house, I think it is anything but a laughing matter. It has been an historical fact that throughout much of human history that many generations of one family resided together under one roof. Ususally, it meant laboring together for the good of the extended family. It meant pooling the resources of the family for both work, survival and safety. Now, it represents a "failure to launch."
Proverbs 12:11 "Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chose fantasies have not sense."
Then, there is the recent television interview of two grandparents, whose daughter was accused of murdering their granddaughter. Casey Anthony, who beat that murder wrap, became known as the most hated mom in America. This case, which occurred ten years ago continues to fascinate the public. Why? I think there are many answers to that. One of them is the incomprehensibiliry of the act. The question of why this happened, and what does it portend; weigh upon the collective conscience.
Matthew 15:19 "For out of the heart come evil thoughts- murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander."
SCHOOL: What of the recent school shootings in Florida and Texas? Schools have and always will be a bellweather expressing the deep core issues of any people in any place. As long as I can remember now, schools in the U.S. have been a place of cruelty. A place best described by the classic 1954 novel, "The Lord Of The Flies" by Nobel Prize-winning writer William Golding. Golding describes a group of students who get marooned on a remote island. With no adult supervision, their attempts to create a just and sane environment are not possible. Left to their own devises they create a destructive and hellish existence.
What an apt description of the state of the American teen! Left to their own devices by pre-occupied and self-centered parents who are more concerned with their phones then their children's well-being, schools are no longer all they could be. It is very easy to blame the teachers or guns, but the Bible is explicit that parents are to train a child in the way that they should go, and when they are old they will not depart. We are seeing bad behavior because of the direction that our parenting has taken.
Titus 2:7-8 "In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us."
WORKPLACES: Frankie* had worked for a social services agency long before he ever became a Christian. Things he had long experienced however, took on a different hue when viewed through the lens of his Christian values. It no longer seemed right to him to observe the million little day in and day out corruptions that exist in that workplace: the petty and not so petty battles going on. The acting out of jealousies or greed. The lack of a work ethic.
Psalm 90:17 "May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us-yes establish the work of our hands."
No one seemed to care about creating the type of cooperation which would make that agency operate smoothly. Furthermore, where was the gratitude or accountability to the citizens whose taxes paid for their salaries and benefits? No, to Frankie it seemed many were in this job for what they could get, and nothing more. Does this seem familiar to you?
COLOSSIANS 3:23 "Whatever you do,work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not human masters."
WHAT THE DEVIL IS WRONG? Beyond the headlines and our daily life there are deeper spiritual truths revealing themselves. In the opening chapter of the book of Job, we meet God and Satan (your adversary). We learn that the devil, who is real, walks to and fro, and up and down among us. We learn that there is a supernatural battle that is being waged for our souls. We are not merely passing through a meaningless life. Our thoughts and our actions matter. Not just to us, and those around us, but also to God and the Devil. Those thoughts and actions can make our home, school and work zones a better place. Although we can never hope to achieve perfection, understanding and accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior, can be our ticket to a clear understanding of how we ought to live.
Are you ready to make some changes in your life, because you know that you have been wrong? As you read this post, consider if you need to change your relationships at home, in school or at work? It all begins with a self-inventory. The Bible tells us that we are all sinners. It makes it clear that we are to look at ourselves honestly and consider the kind of person that we are and the things that we have done. Only then, can we understand our need for the Savior Jesus Christ. This will not be easy because Satan, in the guise of popular culture, tells you that you are basically a good person. This is a lie and it will not lead you to God nor toward being your best self.
Luke 1:37 "For no Word from God will ever fail."
I hope that we all realize that WHAT THE DEVIL IS WRONG is US and the choices that we have made and the effect that they have. There is a gargantuan battle going on for the direction of our world. The question is will you choose to follow God or the Devil in your home, in your school, or on your job?
Acts 2:38 "Peter replied, repent and be baptized every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit."
*the names were changed.
HOME: While many are laughing about the thirty year old New York man, whose parents were forced to take him to court in order to get him out of their house, I think it is anything but a laughing matter. It has been an historical fact that throughout much of human history that many generations of one family resided together under one roof. Ususally, it meant laboring together for the good of the extended family. It meant pooling the resources of the family for both work, survival and safety. Now, it represents a "failure to launch."
Proverbs 12:11 "Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chose fantasies have not sense."
Then, there is the recent television interview of two grandparents, whose daughter was accused of murdering their granddaughter. Casey Anthony, who beat that murder wrap, became known as the most hated mom in America. This case, which occurred ten years ago continues to fascinate the public. Why? I think there are many answers to that. One of them is the incomprehensibiliry of the act. The question of why this happened, and what does it portend; weigh upon the collective conscience.
Matthew 15:19 "For out of the heart come evil thoughts- murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander."
SCHOOL: What of the recent school shootings in Florida and Texas? Schools have and always will be a bellweather expressing the deep core issues of any people in any place. As long as I can remember now, schools in the U.S. have been a place of cruelty. A place best described by the classic 1954 novel, "The Lord Of The Flies" by Nobel Prize-winning writer William Golding. Golding describes a group of students who get marooned on a remote island. With no adult supervision, their attempts to create a just and sane environment are not possible. Left to their own devises they create a destructive and hellish existence.
What an apt description of the state of the American teen! Left to their own devices by pre-occupied and self-centered parents who are more concerned with their phones then their children's well-being, schools are no longer all they could be. It is very easy to blame the teachers or guns, but the Bible is explicit that parents are to train a child in the way that they should go, and when they are old they will not depart. We are seeing bad behavior because of the direction that our parenting has taken.
Titus 2:7-8 "In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us."
WORKPLACES: Frankie* had worked for a social services agency long before he ever became a Christian. Things he had long experienced however, took on a different hue when viewed through the lens of his Christian values. It no longer seemed right to him to observe the million little day in and day out corruptions that exist in that workplace: the petty and not so petty battles going on. The acting out of jealousies or greed. The lack of a work ethic.
Psalm 90:17 "May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us-yes establish the work of our hands."
No one seemed to care about creating the type of cooperation which would make that agency operate smoothly. Furthermore, where was the gratitude or accountability to the citizens whose taxes paid for their salaries and benefits? No, to Frankie it seemed many were in this job for what they could get, and nothing more. Does this seem familiar to you?
COLOSSIANS 3:23 "Whatever you do,work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not human masters."
WHAT THE DEVIL IS WRONG? Beyond the headlines and our daily life there are deeper spiritual truths revealing themselves. In the opening chapter of the book of Job, we meet God and Satan (your adversary). We learn that the devil, who is real, walks to and fro, and up and down among us. We learn that there is a supernatural battle that is being waged for our souls. We are not merely passing through a meaningless life. Our thoughts and our actions matter. Not just to us, and those around us, but also to God and the Devil. Those thoughts and actions can make our home, school and work zones a better place. Although we can never hope to achieve perfection, understanding and accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior, can be our ticket to a clear understanding of how we ought to live.
Are you ready to make some changes in your life, because you know that you have been wrong? As you read this post, consider if you need to change your relationships at home, in school or at work? It all begins with a self-inventory. The Bible tells us that we are all sinners. It makes it clear that we are to look at ourselves honestly and consider the kind of person that we are and the things that we have done. Only then, can we understand our need for the Savior Jesus Christ. This will not be easy because Satan, in the guise of popular culture, tells you that you are basically a good person. This is a lie and it will not lead you to God nor toward being your best self.
Luke 1:37 "For no Word from God will ever fail."
I hope that we all realize that WHAT THE DEVIL IS WRONG is US and the choices that we have made and the effect that they have. There is a gargantuan battle going on for the direction of our world. The question is will you choose to follow God or the Devil in your home, in your school, or on your job?
Acts 2:38 "Peter replied, repent and be baptized every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit."
*the names were changed.
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