Is Love All You Need?

If love was all that we needed, then why are so many people miserable after following that philosophy? The feelings that we have that draw us to another person are very powerful. Let's explore this for a moment. God has divinely created a powerful inclination within us to couple. It is so powerful that, like driving a racing car you can quickly get into a wreck if you don't know how to drive it. The consequences to ourselves, our families and communities are powerful, it is essential that we understand this. "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"-Jeremiah 17:9

Shannon* is a case in point. Her very messy divorce (chronicled in Love Gone Wrong) left her hurt and broken. She tried to hang tough but she was very afraid of the depression and anger that now engulfed her. Her husband took her for everything that he could and hooked up with a younger woman. When someone has a trauma such as this, it is critically important to process everything that occurred and make some sense of it. This is not easy of course. "Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers."-3John2

In order to move on, Shannon has to understand the lifelong pattern that she has of being lead of her emotions. Jõao* is the same way. He loves to be in love! He loves that all-encompassing, all-powerful sexual, and emotional feeling that he gets when he mets a new woman and falls for her. It becomes his obsession. He will text that woman all day, and spend every waking moment thinking about her. He seems to only really be happy though during the early romantic chase and quickly falls into drama and dysfunction soon after that. "How blessed is the man that finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding."-Proverbs 3:13

Many people think Jõao is a player but, they don't really understand that he has just been looking for love in all the wrong places. I met Jõao at a Bible study some years ago. He came to church seeking answers after he became separated from his wife. He felt as if he had been used and abused after he had given his wife Amanda* everything. He made good money as a plumber and had gained favor as a contractor on many expensive construction projects in Westchester County, N.Y. He and Amanda used to be living the good life but now it seems that he is spending all his money on lawyers. "If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own son, but gave him up for us--how will he also, along with him,graciously give us all things."-Romans 8:31-32

Just as in the case of Shannon, Jõao is being driven to unsatisfying relationships because of patterns in his life that he constantly repeats. He and Shannon both make decisions about love by what their feelings tell them. "I can't help how I feel. You have to be sexually attracted to someone don't you?" Over the years, I have had people tell me that : "I only date (tall,short, big this, small that, blondes, brunettes, black, Asian or well-dressed people)." The list goes on and on : she/he must be (confident, financially successful, handsome, beautiful or do what I like sexually). "Enter ye by the narrow gate, for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it."-Matthew 7:13

None of these criteria will ensure a happy ending for your romance. You could be acting out a childhood trauma. Do you find yourself declining a date with a person who is godly, nice and whom you have lots in common with, only to find yourself on a date with some type that you seem to be stuck on (see above list)? This is something that you should reflect upon. There is a better way. If you want better relationships and you are willing to do some spiritual and emotional work things can get better. The roads to a bad love life are many but when we follow God and do things His way, healing comes into our love life.  "The Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire."-Isaiah 58:11


* the name is changed

Flu Cure

As many of you know, there are a multitude of places in the world which are dealing with terrible and life-threatening strains of the flu. The dominant strain this year is the Influenza A : H3N2 strain, and the flu shots are not very effective against it. I have thus far read reports of cases in: Australia, China, Korea, the U.K. and in the United States. I have also read about the severity and speed with which this illness has sickened and killed many people of all ages. Chances are that wherever you live on this planet (I have readers all-over the globe) you may know someone or have heard of the flu hitting somewhere near your vicinity. Visits to doctor's offices and other medical settings for flu symptoms this winter 2017/2018 surpasses every year since 2009/2010 in the United States. This is something that effects us all, and we need to slow down the speed of disease transmission.

With this flu season adding up to be a serious one, we need to remember all the things that our mothers told us. Remember to cover your mouth when coughing and your nose while sneezing. Even if you do not have the flu, this will help ensure cutting down the rate of disease transmission. Wash your hands frequently. Be conservative when you feel ill. In other words, stay home from work, or don't attend a party, if you have some inkling that you might be coming down with something. Don't send your children to school to infect others either.  You may be strong enough to overcome the flu but what if you or your child infects someone and they die from it? As a Christian, thinking this through does come under the banner of Christian caring.  We are to remember, what the Bible says in Luke 6:30 -"and as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise."

As believers, let us try to be in the forefront of caring for one another. Make sure to ask an elderly neighbor or family member how they are doing and if there is anything that you can help them with. Are you willing to lend a hand to the aging population in your community or in your family? I know that it is not easy with your busy schedule but it is part of the social contract and the mark of Christian virtue in your life. Romans 15:1- "We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves."

With all that is at stake we as Christians ought to be in the forefront of this dialogue. Talk to your child's teacher or school administrator and ask what sanitizing methods are in place to stem the tide of flu transmission. Some schools in the United States did a poor job of being proactive resulting in a large number of student sickness and even some school closings. Let's try to prevent that from happening especially when we know that young people have died from this flu strain.
Matthew 25:44-45- "They also will answer, 'Lord when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?' "He will reply, Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me."

While you are at it, let your Pastor or one of the elders at your church know of your concern for the health of the congregation. I once got the flu at a gym so remember to mention your concern the next time you work out. Don't forget to have a hand sanitizer for the next couple of weeks. When in doubt use it. Avoid shaking hands and ask your boss to recommend working from home to those employees who might be sick. Bring alcohol swabs to work to sanitize any shared surfaces such as door knobs, and shared computers. If enough people speak up in their spheres of influence, we might be able to make some positive contribution to slowing the spread of the flu. Hebrews 6:10- "God is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him as you have helped His people and continue to help them."

Most importantly, let us all commit to praying daily over this matter. The power of God to protect, to heal and to save is just a prayer away. "And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up. And if he has committed sins, they shall be forgiven him."-James 5:15