Valentine's Day Reflections

                                                   Scraps of Fabric =  Homemade Hearts 

One of the deepest desires of the heart is to love and to be loved.  In our earliest childhoods we all have memories of an all abiding deep love for a parent or parent figure who was central to us.  We depended on them for food, clothing and shelter.  They were our protector.  They were the person or person(s) who taught us right from wrong and hugged us when we were hurt, frightened or insecure.

In our childish way, our parents or grandparents, seemed like superheroes to us.  If I just ran behind my mother's shirt it was as if I was hidden by an invisible cloak and safe from all danger.  How many of you would miss your mother so much that you would not even wish to go to summer camp or a sleepover?  Some of you went your whole childhoods just longing for more time and fun experiences with your parents.  Fishing, swimming, or simply one-on-one quality time with your parent was the
biggest desire of your heart.

As we grow we begin to see that maybe dad never had any time for us, and mother was not the most affectionate person in the world.  Or worse, dad hits mom and mom drinks too much.  What about my grandparents have custody of me because my dad is a drug dealer and mom is schizophrenic!  At the very least we must come to terms with the truth that the panoply of adults in our life were not perfect. They failed to protect, and to love just when we needed it most.

Origami from Vintage Magazine

The childhoods that we had, including what we were taught about God have a big influence upon the
direction and choices that we make in our love life.  To make the most of our love life, we need to
assess what we learned about relationships in our home and what God desires relationships to be.

Deuteronomy 5:9-10 (ESV) says, "I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of 
the fathers on the children, and on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing lovingkindness to thousands [of generations, see 7:9], to those who love Me and keep My commandments."   

The above passage from Deuteronomy describes the consequences of our actions as having far-reaching implications for future generations.  It is critically important that we realize how much our 
words and actions effect our children, grandchildren, and foster children.  We role model through our behavior every moment of the day.  So, if your mother and father screamed and yelled or gave each other the silent treatment every time they had a disagreement, then you learned incorrect conflict 
resolution.  What if your parents were always one step away from bankruptcy, how might that affect the way you approach finances in your own marriage? What if your boyfriend or girlfriend  came from a family of alcoholics?  

So often, we don't ask ourselves the right questions when we are dating.  Instead relying on our feelings, we sometimes run right back and recreate our own dysfunctional childhood family!   Romans 7:15 (NIV) states "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."  The Apostle Paul quite effectively describes our attempts and failures to change.  We tell ourselves I am going to have a better marriage than my parents did and find ourselves married to the same type of moocher that our grandfather, father and brother 
were.  

This origami heart can be slipped over a lollipop.  

Where was God through your whole dating process? Did you just call on Him when your relationship started to fail?  If so, it is time to make some changes in your life.  You need to begin to pray to find the relationship that God wants you to be in.  If you are married, it is time to change habits that you have so that your behavior is more closely aligned with Biblical principles of virtue.  One of the themes in the Bible is love.  The Bible explains what love is, what actions constitute real love, and it  

gets you in touch with the source of that love, which is God.  God desires to be the center of your  

family.  In Ecclesiastes, God is described as a third cord in the rope of your marriage.  There is an expression that, "two heads are better than one." Well, a cord made of three strands is stronger than a cord made of two, especially if one of those cords is God.  Nothing can harm your relationship if both of you keep God in your midst.   Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 shows that “Two are better than one, because they have a good 

return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”  Resolve to make God the center of your life and your relationships will get better.

Putting God first is the beginning of a positive new direction.  God is holy and good.  His plans for you are even better than the plans that you have for yourself.  You have tried it on your own, how well has that worked out for you?  How well is it working for those around you?  Practically everyone that I know is divorced or bitter about some break-up. Why not give God a chance?  God knows what we need and in Psalm 37:4 (KJV) it says, "  Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."   Make a determination to study the Bible today because unless our hearts are changed by God, we will continue to make some of the same mistakes that our families made.  We will continue to pick " bad boys" or choose people who use and abuse us.  I wish you a very Happy Valentine's Day.  A day of growth and change.

                                               Look what a friend gave me!