Marriage Retreat

A short time ago, my husband and I went on a Marriage Retreat Weekend. It is held every year at the Tuscarora Inn and Christian Convention Center, in Mount Bethel, Pennsylvania. It is deeply impactful and meaningful to attend such an event and to reflect upon the meaning of marriage and think about your marriage in particular.
Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

For weeks before the event occurred, I kept feeling like I had too much to do to get away. Then, just days before we were slated to attend the event, I started to get nervous thinking about all the issues that could come up and how imperfect our marriage really was. Why is it that we take better care of our cars than our marriages?
1 Peter 4:8: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

My father told me to always take care of my car. "Make sure you change your oil regularly, rotate those tires, and winterize your car before the onset of bad weather." I enjoyed splashing around with the garden hose during the many times my father would regularly wash and wax his car. I think that I was more prepared for having a clean and well-maintened vehicle than a thriving marriage. In case you're wondering, my car looks great!

When we arrived, I only knew one couple from our church, Ben* and Jean.* Everyone except us seemed to know each other. A number of church groups came together. **Note to self: get together a church group for next year! In the course of the weekend that would all change and I would make deep an meaningful connections with other married couples.

Hebrews 10:24-25: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

Tuscarora is perfectly situated on the beautiful Delaware river. It is a deeply peaceful place where one can truly leave the world behind and take time to relax, re-tool and re-focus. After dinner on Friday night we had an amazing husband and wife team from a local church open the event with carefully chosen worship songs which helped me prepare my heart and quite my mind as we prepared to hear the message about marriage.

On to the stage, walked a small and unassuming 79 year old couple named Gordon and Gail MacDonald. The husband and wife were both soft spoken with the husband exuding a shy and frail presence. They settled into two talk show host style chairs and proceeded to do a sound check. The couple introduced themselves and shared the format that their discussions would follow. The unusual technique involved them facing each other, and not the audience. From the audiences perspective it felt at first as if were somehow eavesdropping on a couples private conversation.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

Later, it felt as if we had the good fortune of being on the inside of a half-century old marriage and could learn all of the inside secrets. I believe that is exactly what they had in mind as they went down memory lane and gave a decade-by-decade, blow-by-blow account of their life. With special emphasis upon the challenges that each age and stage of marriage brings, they were able to prepare their audience for what the problems might be.
Mark 10:9: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.

As they did this, there were plenty of scriptures and positive God-centered advise on how to overcome theses common pitfalls. Life gets busy. Every day there are many things that need to be done: taking the garbage out, washing the dishes, laundry, work, school, sports, friend, and family commitments. Sometimes a couple simply grows apart due to the pressures and responsibilities of their life. In this flurry of activity please make sure to invest time and energy into making your marriage grow. It is not easy. I know, because my husband and I came to a point in our lives where we did not make that a priority and we both suffered the consequences.
Malachi 2:14-15: “But you say, 'Why does he not?' Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant."

Attending a marriage retreat is one way to divorce proof a marriage. No doubt, It will take you out of your comfort zone as it did me. But, you can rest assured that you will leave the marriage retreat a better person than when you came. That is the reason I learned, that many people return to these events, year after year.
Ephesians 4:2-3: “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."

*names are changed. **Note to self.