If you pay attention to such things, my online profile might indicate to you my love of nineteenth century literature. I love the romance, the innocent humor, the simple joys expressed and the sense of family depicted. The sense of family shows a rosy picture of parents and children in harmony, with the youngsters expected to have a respectful attitude towards their parents. Anything less was considered bad character.
Literature and history also recorded the intrigues, joys and dissatisfactions inherent in the parent-child relationship. However, family was held in high regard as a foundational unit of society. These standards emanated from the Judeo-Christian biblical values practiced in those times. Those ethics related back to the biblical commandment stated in Deuteronomy 5: 12 which commanded us to honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which thy God giveth thee.
Honor is an interesting word to use, because God Almighty doesn't make mistakes. He did not say to love everything your parents do. God also did not say honor thy children. So it does not seem to point to a completely reciprocal relationship between parent and child. Interesting isn't it? What I see all around me in Westchester County, New York is a huge lose of wisdom as regards the parent-child relationship. In fact, those relationships are completely screwed up.
The societal implications of turning our back on God can be seen by its' huge effect on the family setting. Parent-child relationship roles have been turned completely upside down. Enfant terribles lead foolish needy parents around and manipulate them as they run amok in the greater Westchester society. There are tantrums galore and parents don't know how or don't want to do anything about it.
It seems that everyone thinks their child is God's gift to the world and everything they do is precious. Of course children are indeed a gift and a blessing from God but after that, religious and secular people diverge in their philosophy. You see, when God is not on his throne, what do we place foremost in His place? Sometimes, the adoration gets transferred to our children.
One sign that this has occurred might be excessive bragging about the child and their achievements. We all, at times, are proud of what our children do, but this goes way beyond that. Parents in this community have the means to financially indulge every aspect of their child's upbringing. So, the bragging starts with soccer, dance class and other extra curricula activities because parents don't just put their children in soccer or dance class, they have them see a special sports trainer/dance coach.
Analysis and enhancement of a child's skills begin early too. I would say in the womb. Training begins in the womb. Even though Westchester parents deny the viability of a growing fetus as being an unborn baby for the purpose of killing them if they are deemed unwanted, they go to the other point of view when they want that baby. They begin teaching them languages, and giving them music lessons in utero. When they issue forth from the womb, plans have already been made concerning their perfect life path and even including the Ivy League school that they will attend.
An Au Pair or nanny has already been hired that will speak in another language and teach them appropriate cultural lessons from their native land. Thereby ensuring Junior speaks a perfect unaccented second language and can write an historical dissertation in no time. Infant swim lessons have been procured, as well as infant exercise or yoga class. As childhood progresses summer camp is that all too vital step towards insuring growing skills. So, for instance, computer languages and programming skill camps have to be signed up for mid-winter lest your child miss their opportunity to be the next tech guru with that ensuing paycheck.
Physical superiority must be maximized by youthful nose jobs, breast augmentation and skin analysis. In my quest for a simple hobby or some creative outlet, I decided to take a crocheting class. I thought it might be fun. That was my first mistake. No one but me was interested in just having a little fun in that class. They were just interested in being the best at it. I should have known better after living here so long! One lady was married to a Michelin star chef. He didn't get there by having a little fun. One woman was a Chief Financial Officer who had graduated from Harvard.
There was even a google executive and former MIT graduate who had signed up for the class. Bragging about oneself and ones children was simply de rigeur in this class. What became clear pretty quickly is that while a number of these parents were quite impresssive, a number of their children were not. That did not stop the bragging however, no matter how blatenly false it was. These movers and shakers could not afford for these children to fail because it would reflect badly upon them. The recent multi-million dollar scandals concerning parents buying their children into Ivy League institutions came as no surprise to me. It is the end result of this worshipful and wrong-headed thinking.
This bribery scandal is a sample of the end result of worshipping our children and ourselves for that matter. These parents would stop at nothing to get their children into top rated U.S. schools including bribing athletic coaches to get their unqualified teens on various teams. They even had test proctors manipulating college entrance exams. The state of parenting has gone far afield of God's plan for the family and we need to get back to it.
That begins with exploring some concepts found in the Bible. Stories that we can put together to paint a picture of the structure and ordering of the family as God sees it. Beginning with the book of Genesis, that book which describes our origins, we are made privy to the intricate organization of the universe. Is it any wonder as we study this, that God's plan for the family would entail an intimate sort of organization?
As I said before, the Bible does not appear to put the parent and child on equal footing. God's system is at odds with the current philosophy that is tearing the parent-child relationship apart. Go to therapy and you will get every excuse to hate your parents even more than you did before you entered that office. Schools are often supplanting parents even to the point of impinging on the rights of said parents and undermining their authority.
This goes against everything the Bible says about child-rearing. In a very short time in the human story, the long-held pattern of parent-child relationships have been overturned. This is huge. We are now living in a time where divorce and parent-child estrangement is the norm. I pray that as we get ready to celebrate Mother's Day or Father's Day that we concern ourselves with something more than the superficial trappings of the holiday. Take time to reflect on the nature of your relationship with your parents. Is it time to stop holding a grudge against your parents and forgive thems? What about spending more time with them and helping them around the house alittle? Don't waste anymore time to truly honor your parents in a special way.
* a few details were changed to protect identities but not much.
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