Having good friendships are an important part of having a happy life. Yet, sometimes even though we want to be friends with someone, they don’t necessarily want to be friends with us.
They keep giving us a hard time, they might even be bullying us. It might be that a person that we know does not wish to hang out with us when we are outside during the daily recess at school. They might talk about us behind our back (gossip). They may even steal from us when we are not looking.
It’s all very frustrating and may make us angry sometimes. Today, we are going to talk about the battles that we have with people sometimes and, some strategies for dealing with them.
As I said before, friendship is an important part of a having a happy life. Friendship is a blessing, but what about when it goes wrong? What should we do? Should we just handle it by going along with every feeling that we have? For example, if someone yells at me, I want to yell right back at them, but should I do that? Someone has pushed me or teased me, sometimes my natural inclination would be to just push them or tease them right back. Should I do that?
I’m not going to lie to you. It might feel good for a minute to do that. Sin often feels good for a minute. But, it won’t bring lasting happiness. It won’t help any of us to be our best nor to build a good future for ourselves. We will end up being like that person who was mean to us.
It reminds me of the story of King Saul and David. King Saul was the king of Israel about 3000 years ago, and David was just a young boy tending sheep in his fathers field. Their paths were about to collide and they would each face some choices.
There was a time that King Saul had it all. He was given the opportunity by God to be the very first King of Israel. He was a great warrior and had Gods’ blessing in all that he did. But, as time went on his actions started to veer away from following God. He started doing things just because he felt like it, instead of doing things the way God wanted him to.
In time that would mean that God would take away the very special blessings that he had given King Saul and allow him to face the consequences of his actions. (The prophet Samuel spoke for God when he said, You have done a foolish thing, you have not kept the command the Lord your God gave you). God then placed that blessing upon the young shepherd boy David.
This should have been a happy ending for David but it wasn’t, not quite yet anyway. King Saul sensed David’s growing strength and his coming greatness and he grew angry and jealous. ( 1 Samuel 18:12 says Saul was afraid of David because the Lord was with him but had departed from Saul.) Saul tried to hurt David. He used his power as the king of Israel to try and hunt David down and kill him. We always have a choice. We can use our power for good or for evil.
Well, anyway, David really wanted to be friends with King Saul. If you read this story in your bibles in the first book of Samuel you can see David tried to make friends with King Saul a number of times. He went out of his way to try to humble himself before Saul, and to show him respect, but King Saul would have none of it.
Just like David, even when people aren’t nice to us, we need to try to make friends with them if possible. To reach out and try to end any disagreements that we may have with people in our life. The Bible shows us that even though David had to suffer because of King Saul, God protected him every step of the way. And, even though it took time, David won his battle with King Saul and was victorious. God does that for us today, when we obey Him and live the way He wants us to. It may take some time but God has a good plan for each and every one of us, just like he did with David.
The Bible tells us, “not to return evil for evil, but overcome evil with good.” In other words, we need to do what David did. Even though King Saul hated David and wanted to hurt him, David did not return those feelings and even spared him from harm two times when he had the chance to take revenge on Saul.
Here’s another lesson. There was a time in David’s battles with King Saul that he felt he needed to hide from Saul to stay safe. Well, I can tell you this, there were some girls in my high school that were not very nice. Although I kept the door of friendship open with them, they were just like King Saul and refused to meet me halfway. While I didn’t have to hide in a cave to escape their wrath like David did, I thought it best to steer clear of them whenever I could.
However, one of these mean girls approached me one day and told me she was about to fail a math class. She asked me if I could tutor her. I did this as a job in high school. Well, I thought I can really have the upper hand now. I could really make her pay for teasing me. Instead, I felt a gentle sense of the Holy Spirit guiding me to know that was a very wrong approach and that instead, I should be kind in the situation. That girl just like king Saul, was doing whatever she thought best, and not what God thinks is best. A short time after I tutored her she asked me if she could cheat off my test exam. Of course, I said no. Cheating is not the right thing to do and God would not have blessed me for that. If I had cheated, I would have being veering off the path God has given us to follow.
To recap. Some lessons from the life of David.
1. Don’t just go along with everything you feel. Before you act, try to think of what Jesus would do.
2. Don’t forget God when things are going well, like King Saul did. Pray and learn what the Bible says about life and decide to follow it. Psalm 62, verses 1 and 2 has quoted David as saying, “My soul waits in silence for God only; from Him is my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken.”
3. God sees us differently than people see us. A lot of people looked at young David and thought, he’s just a shepherd, or he’s too young. But, God sees into our hearts and he knew that David had a mighty faith and earnestly tried to be the best he could be for God.
4. Be patient and have faith like David. Sometimes, it takes a while for things to
get better, even years for us to achieve our goals but remember that God is faithful. Eventually, David became one of the greatest Kings of Israel. Davids' last words should serve as an inspiration to us. He said, Be strong and of good courage; fear not or be dismayed; for the Lord, even my God will be with thee. He will not fail thee, til thou hast finished all the work for the service of the house of the Lord-1 Chronicles 28:20.
*Notes:
1. Frenemies- American slang. A person in your life that you get along with and enjoy overall but, they will cut you down with virtually any opportunity. Roots for you to do good but not better than them. Jealousy involved.(Urban Dictionary)
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