NOTE: PLEASE READ THE PREVIOUS POST ENTITLED " TIO JULIO, DO YOU HAVE A TIO JULIO? PART 1 before beginning this post.
As we decide to face a difficult family situation we know that we must start with the truth. The complete and unadulterated truth. We must resolve to stop making excuses for ourselves and others. That includes your spiritual life as you head into this battle. Do you know the one true God of this whole world? Although only one God, the very physical presence of our God chose to walk among us, to suffer as we have and show us the way towards resolving every dilemma that is part of this sometimes cruel life. His Holy Spirit wants to guide you and give you peace in your situation. Nothing is too hard or too shameful that you can not pray and share it with the God who created this world and loves you. Ask Jesus to be the Lord of your life.
We also survey the possibilities of what can and can not be done in our family situation. Then we pray. We ask God's presence in the situation. He will be Jehovah-Nissi; that is our banner in war. Never forget that you are not alone. Now you are ready. When we decide to face our loved one and confront the problem, we must understand that we can not do what we have always done in the past. We must be keenly aware of that. Did you laugh along with Uncle Julio's cruel sarcastic jokes? Did you sit down with him at a wedding and smile as if nothing was happening all along knowing how he beat you and your brothers savagely for years and feel trapped and unable to voice this? Have you every really said the truth out loud, eg. "My mother is an alcoholic," or "I never felt loved by my father?" You may have asked yourself if feeling such a thing is even godly? Let us explore that.
lives. It is the story of us, as we really are. Human beings struggling with our strengths and our sins, with our victories and our defeats. How can we ever think that it is wrong to confront the truth of our family dilemma after we know this? A hallmark of the Ministry of Jesus Christ, is the way that he gets to the truth of who we really are and what we have done. Yet, Christianity offers the exciting possibility of what you can be, not just what you have been. So, this leads us to the next couple of points.
Start from a position of love. The Bible teaches us, "Better is open rebuke than love hidden" (NIV) -Proverbs 27:5. In our earthly cultures and customs we frequently misunderstand or pervert the true meaning of love. According to this passage, godly love is not closing our eyes and mouths to sin and error. In fact, it makes the point that an open and pointed admonishment to a loved one is true love! So, we have to resolve to change our thinking and recognize that if you know a relative is engaged in criminal pursuits, immoral behavior and say nothing, you are not acting in a loving way. Indeed, to hold back could result in the Tio Julio's of our life hurting others. Fear not friends, step out in faith, Jesus is able to work in your situation. Romans 8:28 (NIV) exhorts us, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have have been called according to His purpose." Start working toward God's purposes. God's plan for this broken and hurting world is repentance, reconciliation, and salvation. Sometimes the seed we plant by giving an "open rebuke" will result in repentance now or later. Sometimes an "open rebuke" heals you and frees you from the
feeling of victimization, fear or depression that has plagued you throughout your life.
Let me conclude with some advise given, by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, on this matter. In the gospel of Matthew 18:15-17 Jesus says, "If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. But, if they will not listen take one or two others along, so that "every
matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses." If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the Church; and if they refuse to listen even to the Church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector." Sometimes, when we stand together with others in a Christian intervention, it helps us to have more impact with that person whom we are trying to deal with. Maybe they thought
"oh this is just little Ron*, he was always a cry baby even as a child." But when you bring in others
and even the Church, the denial and delusion by which the Tio Julio's of this world run their lives begin to crack. The final verse informs us that when faced with a truly evil person that we must sometimes break off relationship. It tells us that sometimes after a loving and a godly attempt to remedy the situation they choice to ignore us and continue in sin. Recognizing the free will of Julio to run his life as he sees fit, we can release the situation to God. If it is a criminal situation, we alert the authorities. We do continue to regularly pray for him and we can give forgiveness and begin our healing process. We can be proud of ourselves after we faced a difficult situation. The stakes are high my friends, just take a look at this world! We have to recognize that healing begins in our small patch of the planet, our countries, our neighborhoods, our family. God bless you.
P.S. Do you have a topic that you wish me to cover in this blog? Something you are struggling with? Tell me about it In the comment section below.
* names changed to protect privacy.
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