I introduced myself and offered to help with the upcoming,"tag sale." I was really happy about this too. Having run many successful tag sales at my house over the years, I thought I could be a help to my church. I asked them what I could do to assist their efforts? They needed several signs printed up to place on tables and tags for the different categories of items on sale. They asked me to handle this and to arrive two evenings before the sale to sort and arrange the items for sale.
I did as they requested but was surprised to see that the signs and price tags which I had bought and printed up were not needed. In fact, even though I arrived on time to assist in sorting and arranging items for sale, all the work had already been done. Thinking perhaps there was a failure in communication among the ladies of the women's ministry, I tried to go with the flow. On the first day of the tag sale, I was asked to man the vintage clothing table.
The entire day, Hugette and her mother Josephine*, second guessed and undid everything that I did. Over time, I began to understand what this behavior was. Hugette and Josephine constantly complained about having to do all the work, yet when someone offered to help them, they were unable to let go of control. Do you know anyone like that?
Maybe you work with them, or you are married to them? Perhaps you have run into them at the school Parent Teacher Association (PTA) meeting or at your church? Does this story brings to mind a parent? What Hugette and Josephine don't understand is how they have created their own personal hell. On the one hand, they claim to be frustrated, exhausted and at their wits end. On the other hand, their perfectionistic standards are impossible to meet. Their constant orchestration of every event is overbearing.
Some of the ladies at this church even bragged that they probably had a little O.C.D. That seems to be a comment that I hear all the time in Westchester. While the struggles of O.C.D.(obsessive compulsive disorder) can sometimes necessitate medical intervention, to a certain extent it can also help the individual to excel in their field of endeavor. We live in a world, where the standards are getting higher and higher. Children are under a lot of stress trying to meet the demands of school and extra-curricular activities. They have to be good at everything it seems. It has been said that the teachers place pressure upon their students, in part, to advance their professional standing and that of their school. Are we losing sight of anything?
Luke 10:38-42King James Version (KJV)
38 Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.
39 And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word.
40 But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.
41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:
42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.
As we reflect upon the story of St. ********** Church or on our own lives, these scripture verses can help us clarify a few things. Are you a Mary or are you a Martha? Have you experienced anger or felt overwhelmed at Christmas or Thanksgiving? Are you a perfectionistic? Has someone ever called you controlling? Are you like Hugette or Josephine who feels frustrated with the incompetence all around you? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, you may be a Martha.
We see in Luke 49:40 that Martha is "cumbered with much serving." As a woman, I know just what that means. Martha has Jesus and His followers arriving and this requires food and hospitality. There is a lot of work both before, during and after guests arrival that must be attended to. However, as I read this verse, I see something more. The work that is required is one thing, but my sense is that Martha's view of the job is undermining the situation.
How often has that happened to you? We are often our own worst enemy. We work ourselves into a frenzy and blow things way out of proportion. We end up screaming at our husband, our wife or our child. Even though the decorations and food are fine, we can't leave it alone. We drive ourselves and eveyone around us crazy. Why do we do that? Doesn't fighting or being stressed out defeat the whole purpose of any event? Sometimes, we are trying to get praise for ourselves or sometimes we have families which taught us to be Martha and not Mary.
I have friends whose main memories of Christmas were negative due to the stress that the decorating and family gatherings generated in their families. Isn't that a shame? But there is something that we can do about it. Going back to verse 40 in Luke's tenth chapter, we see that Martha thinks that there is only one way of looking at the situation, but there isn't. Jesus points out another way for her and us to see things.
Martha is anxious. She is also very angry at Mary thinking that she is not doing her part that day. She even accuses Jesus of not caring in that verse! I have seen many a woman believe that her husband does not care because his standards of entertaining are not what hers are. Instead, we need to understand that Jesus, and indeed very often our husbands, care about hospitality but see the job differently than we do. In verse 41 we see this reflected in Jesus' reply to Martha.
He understands and notes in verse 41 that Martha is a detail oriented person, and perhaps a worrier. She attends to business beautifully but in the hyper-focus of those tasks she is missing the spiritual significance that exists in every moment of that task. She is overdoing things and taking things well beyond where they should be. Martha is interjecting tension and anxiety into what should be a happy time.
Going back to verse 40, we even see how desperate Martha is to control the situation. We see her try to manipulate Jesus to get Mary to do things her way. How sad when we resort to manipulation to achieve our goals. Jesus directs her to a deeper more eternal truth. What good is it to have the perfect Christmas if it is so fraught with tension that the memory forevermore is bad? Do we want more people to help at Church? Then we must be sure that we are not discouraging people as Hugette did. Why host Jesus at your home and not sit at His feet as Mary did? In Luke 10:42, we see that the answer for us, if we are a Martha, is to keep Jesus the focus of our world. This changes our perception of the work that we do at church, at the office and in our home. Let's make everything that we do today glorify God!
********* a church in Westchester, N.Y.
* the names are slightly changed.
As we reflect upon the story of St. ********** Church or on our own lives, these scripture verses can help us clarify a few things. Are you a Mary or are you a Martha? Have you experienced anger or felt overwhelmed at Christmas or Thanksgiving? Are you a perfectionistic? Has someone ever called you controlling? Are you like Hugette or Josephine who feels frustrated with the incompetence all around you? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, you may be a Martha.
We see in Luke 49:40 that Martha is "cumbered with much serving." As a woman, I know just what that means. Martha has Jesus and His followers arriving and this requires food and hospitality. There is a lot of work both before, during and after guests arrival that must be attended to. However, as I read this verse, I see something more. The work that is required is one thing, but my sense is that Martha's view of the job is undermining the situation.
How often has that happened to you? We are often our own worst enemy. We work ourselves into a frenzy and blow things way out of proportion. We end up screaming at our husband, our wife or our child. Even though the decorations and food are fine, we can't leave it alone. We drive ourselves and eveyone around us crazy. Why do we do that? Doesn't fighting or being stressed out defeat the whole purpose of any event? Sometimes, we are trying to get praise for ourselves or sometimes we have families which taught us to be Martha and not Mary.
I have friends whose main memories of Christmas were negative due to the stress that the decorating and family gatherings generated in their families. Isn't that a shame? But there is something that we can do about it. Going back to verse 40 in Luke's tenth chapter, we see that Martha thinks that there is only one way of looking at the situation, but there isn't. Jesus points out another way for her and us to see things.
Martha is anxious. She is also very angry at Mary thinking that she is not doing her part that day. She even accuses Jesus of not caring in that verse! I have seen many a woman believe that her husband does not care because his standards of entertaining are not what hers are. Instead, we need to understand that Jesus, and indeed very often our husbands, care about hospitality but see the job differently than we do. In verse 41 we see this reflected in Jesus' reply to Martha.
He understands and notes in verse 41 that Martha is a detail oriented person, and perhaps a worrier. She attends to business beautifully but in the hyper-focus of those tasks she is missing the spiritual significance that exists in every moment of that task. She is overdoing things and taking things well beyond where they should be. Martha is interjecting tension and anxiety into what should be a happy time.
Going back to verse 40, we even see how desperate Martha is to control the situation. We see her try to manipulate Jesus to get Mary to do things her way. How sad when we resort to manipulation to achieve our goals. Jesus directs her to a deeper more eternal truth. What good is it to have the perfect Christmas if it is so fraught with tension that the memory forevermore is bad? Do we want more people to help at Church? Then we must be sure that we are not discouraging people as Hugette did. Why host Jesus at your home and not sit at His feet as Mary did? In Luke 10:42, we see that the answer for us, if we are a Martha, is to keep Jesus the focus of our world. This changes our perception of the work that we do at church, at the office and in our home. Let's make everything that we do today glorify God!
********* a church in Westchester, N.Y.
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