Real love and affection exists in the ******* family. They have been through so much together and have emerged victorious. They have made a fortune and live in Westchester County New York. Yet, they have their scars.They emigrated from Russia when it was still not easy to do that. Their family had suffered so much before they managed to leave. The financial hardships and religious persecutions combined with their status as poor people from provinces far away from Moscow and St. Petersburg, left generations of their family with no opportunities for advancement. Sometimes, they barely managed to eek out a living. Over the years, the family had been resourceful, even clever trying to make ends meet. Bartering with neighbors and forging alliances that could ensure meat and bread for their table. They had that same resourcefulness working for them when they came to the United States.
By the time that I met the ******* family Yeva* seemed to be the head of the family. Her husband Kirill*seemed to be just going through the motions. He seemed emotionally shut down and distant. It did not help that he was not able to pick up English as quickly as his wife did. His inability to speak the English language made him feel isolated in the greater society. Luckily, Kirill spoke the universal language of the computer code. He was able to get a job in IT when he arrived in the States. The job was far beneath Kirill's capability and did not pay much. However, due to his inadequacy in mastering the English language he was unable to move ahead.
Yeva, did a little better. She too was naturally gifted in computer programming and was able to work in the IT field. Both Kirill and Yeva attended colleges of little reputation in Russia, but due to the drive of their collective families, they learned much more. Yeva's grandfather was a whiz with numbers. He made it his job to drill her in basic arithmetic functions when she was quite young. When he saw that she was talented, he continued to instruct her. Yeva's grandfather was self-taught. As a young child he found a mathematics textbook left on a train. He hid this book from his parents who would have surely made him give it to the train conductor or to the police. Yeva told me her grandfather was a laborer who worked long hours every day of his life until his hands curled up with advanced arthritis. Proverbs 22:6- Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Yeva had a dream for her children Maksim,* Artem* and Alina* and just like her grandfather, she began drilling her children at a very young age in mathematics and in addition, programming. Yeva had a passion for this like nothing else in her life. She drilled them like their life depended on it! Pretty soon, it payed off. All three of her children were focused and ready to enter college and enter the world of programming. Her youngest, Alina, entered college at sixteen. Those years were not easy for Kirill and Yeva. They spent every cent that they made ensuring that their children moved ahead. This frequently left them in financial deficit. It also put their relationship as husband and wife on the back burner for a long, long time. Psalm 127:3- Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watchers over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat.
Although their family had once been so religious in the former Soviet Union that the authorities sought to put a damper on it, now, the family is spiritually lost. Years of Soviet oppression had succeeded in changing them to Christians just going through the motions of ritual. As Kirill failed to thrive in the U.S. Yeva seemed to become the head of the family. Often, disrespecting her husband's opinions or input. She seemed in a permanent state of adrenal overdrive even after her children were on a successful path. It seemed she could not let go of parenting even after her children were grown and successful in their fields. She seeks to micro-manage everything in her children's life as she consults with them daily, despite her husband's objections. 1 Peter 3:1- Wives respect your husband
Fear has gripped her life. She is very mistrustful of people and situations. Yeva can not believe that everything her family has achieved is real. I believe the trauma of her younger years has left her feeling as if some one is going to come and take everything away. She acts as if she needs to be vigilant, lest some bad fate might befall her adult children. She alone is their savior. Phil 4:6-7- Do not be anxious about anything, but in prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your petitions to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and minds through Christ Jesus.
When does love and a vision for the future turn into controlling and overbearing melodrama? The answer is when we stop trusting God. When we place God on a shelf somewhere and think of His Word the Bible as less than the spiritual guidance that it is. There are lots of reasons why we do this. Yeva and Kirill lived in a country which for many years was on a mission to destroy their people's faith in God. Indeed, to deny Gods existence! Everything was stacked against Yeva and Kirill and now they are confused. Go to God with your bad experiences and pray to Him, ask Him what it all means. He will not disappoint! I know, because I've been there. I have hope for the ******* family, because God has promised us that if we seek Him, we will find Him. They are just a prayer away from regaining all that they have lost. James 1:5- If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives all generously without finding fault.
*******-the names have been changed.
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