Fruit

"Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so, every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit." (Matthew 7:16-17). This verse can impart much wisdom in our everyday life. If you are interviewing candidates for employment, their references may help you decide if you should hire them or not. Are they competent in their field? Do they use their time constructively? Do they work well with others? "Ye shall know them by their fruits!"

A lab manager I knew brushed aside the "fruit" right in front of him on Michelle's* Linkedin profile. It showed that she hadn't stayed in one position very long in her ten year career. She had credentials from a top-rated University and had what seemed to be decent references in her past employment. She explained on her interview that she has done quite a bit of world travel but she was ready to settle down as her daughter got ready to start kindergarten.

Something had not seemed right to Dr. Hoffmann* but he chose to ignore those feelings and hired Michelle anyway. Later on, Dr. Hoffmann told me that he should have explored further before hiring Michelle. It turned out that Michelle had a major drinking problem. Michelle's previous employers chose not to disclose this because Michelle begged them not to and assured them all that she was now a recovering alcoholic. She worked in a laboratory setting where her drinking could be dangerous to her and those around her. One day she came back from lunch and she had been drinking. When confronted by Dr. Hoffmann, she denied everything, even as she reeked of alcohol and slurred her words. She had to be fired for drinking on the job.

If you seek discernment concerning a man that you are interested in dating, ask yourself what are his "fruits?" Does he treat his family well? Maybe he can't help but look at other women even when he's out with you! Does he keep promises? Hard-worker or hardly working? All of these things show his "fruit." The same can be true when searching for Mrs. Right.

My husband's friend Fabien* is a case in point. My husband and Fabien recently had lunch at Teppanyaki restaurant in Zürich. The talk soon turned to Fabian's growing uneasiness concerning his girlfriends' spending habits. "Ines* spends every dime she makes. With the kind of money that she makes, she should be putting away $$$$$ per year!" He is also not comfortable with the amount of time her son spends on his devices. All these things are very different from the way Fabien runs his life. "Ye shall know them by their fruits!"

In my experience, many people end up in financial dilemmas due to a spouses spending habits. I always ask people in that situation if they "knew their wife was addicted to shopping" or that their "husband had expensive tastes before their marriage". They inevitably say,"yes". My next question  is, "why did you marry them then?" There are many answers to that,"I thought that I could change him", "she was hot" or "I thought he/she would change when they got married."

People can and do change, but it doesn't just magically happen. While we must contend with imperfections that will exist in our spouses, or employees, it does not mean that we should not use some wisdom in these situations. Have you been in Fabien's shoes? It might be better to offer one's friendship to such a person rather than be in a dating situation with them. Fabien is very practical and knowledgeable in matters of finance but thus far, Ines really has not taken any of his advice. What does that tell you?

Fabien and Dr. Hoffmann are both caring men who are always willing to lend a helping hand whenever possible. However, Ines and Michelle do not wish to be helped. In those cases we as Christians have to be willing to accept their "fruit" as it is and commit the matter to prayer. It does not mean that we should allow people to be in a position to unsettle our family life or that of our workplace. Invite the person to Church, tell them about Jesus. Hopefully new seeds can be planted in their life and from those seeds, good fruit may grow!


* names have been changed,