There are times when it is a good idea for you to move in with your family. It may not be what you want but it's a good idea. Maybe you are unable to work because of a health problem. Perhaps the business that you started failed and left you in a financial hole. Can't get a job after graduation? These might all be reasons to consider moving in with family. There are many more reasons that it might be feasible. But, often people view moving in with their family as a negative. They fear loss of privacy and independence. They are afraid of old sibling rivalries or family discord popping up. This post will cover some of the positives.
DIVORCE
Tony's* life hit the skids after his divorce. The money spent on legal bills hit him hard, not to mention the cost of renting a new place. The rents have gone way up here in Westchester County since he and his wife first rented a place seventeen years ago. Since she got to remain in their apartment as part of the divorce agreement, that meant Tony would have to find a new place. This was proving much more difficult than Tony originally thought.
Tony grew up in a large Italian family in a middle class section of Yonkers, New York. He had lost touch with many of those family members and friends after his marriage to Maria*. Maria had preferred the more refined company of friends in their ********** community. She looked down upon their treks to the old neighborhood. But, since Tony and Maria's marital problems began, those friends in the new neighborhood hadn't wanted anything to do with Tony. His downward financial spiral seemed to diminish their affection for him. However, there was someone who had been praying for him all along. Someone who had tried to keep in touch with Tony despite being ignored by him over the years. That was his Uncle Al. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgives you-Colossians 3:13.
Tony had fond childhood memories of pasta e fagiole and canolis over at Uncle Al and Aunt Fran's house. Uncle Al and Aunt Fran always took him to see Yankees games and to the beach in the summer. When Aunt Fran died, Tony couldn't handle his Uncle's grief. His depression at the death of his beloved wife just seemed to get worse and worse until he could barely leave the house. Then something happened. A local merchant made a condolscense call and dropped off a basket of food and shared his faith in Jesus Christ.
Uncle Al gradually started to heal from his grief as he embraced his new-found faith in Jesus. As glad as Tony was to see his Uncle happy again, he wasn't so sure how he felt about this new Uncle Al. The old jokes that Uncle Al and Tony shared didn't seem to fly with Uncle Al anymore, and why was Uncle Al always at Church or studying the Bible? Yet, at this critical junction in his life, he didn't have many options. So, when Uncle Al called him up and invited him over for coffee and cannolis, Tony was inclined to accept.
UNPLANNED PREGNANCY
In Aphrodite's* case, it seemed that her mother's advise against moving in with Dante*, her high school sweetheart, was right. So, how was she going to find the courage to tell her mother that Dante was now incarcerated on a drug dealing charge, she is pregnant with his child, and doesn't have a job or a place to live? That is where she was at when I first met Aphrodite. She was afraid and alone and in need of some courage. She walked in the door of a bible study that I was attending one evening looking like a little, lost, sheep. My son, keep your father's command and do not forsake your mother's teaching-Proverbs 6:20.
She came straight to the point and shared her story with anyone who was willing to listen. She was desperate and in need of help and all she could think of was to come to a Church. What a great instinct she had that night. We talked through her problems and shared some biblical insight. We role-played the conversation she might have with her mother as she explained her situation. She joined our bible study that night.
SOLUTIONS
In both of the above cases reconnecting with family was a meaningful step on the road to recovery. Both Aphrodite and Tony moved back home with family. It was a great way to save money and work through family issues that had never been resolved. Uncle Al needed help around the house and Tony was able to assist him. Tony realized who really loved him and how snobby he had once been. He has even gone to church a few times and reconnected with some old friends. We love because He first loved us-1 John 4:19.
Aphrodite had to learn to be humble. She has apologized to her mother for her past rebellion. Having been out there trying to make it on her own has given Aphrodite a new-found respect for all her mother was able to accomplish. Moving home has allowed Aphrodite the opportunity to be able to go back to school. Her mother takes care of her grandson while she is in class. Aphrodite has continued to attend bible study. She still struggles with trying to understand God's plan for marriage. So we, though many are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another-Romans12:5
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