Fences

We all know the expression, “Good fences make good neighbors.” It comes from a 1914 poem by Robert Frost entitled, Mending Wall. This poem like the Bible explores the relationships that exist between neighbors and lays bare the true divide that exists in a microcosm of the human family. What we see in this poem and in the Bible is how each person’s individual need rises to trample their neighbors needs over and over again. Is it not so in your life?

The past couple of weeks has brought me two cases of bad neighborly behavior. The first story concerns a lady who invited me to her home for a cup of tea and crafting. June*is a caring and fun woman to be around. I consider her a blessing. She and I both enjoy knitting, and sewing. She has inspired me to be more creative and bold in my fabric and stitch choices. I was really looking forward to sharing some time together and discussing the latest craft projects that we are working on for church benevolence. 

I arrived at June’s house and I got a tour of her burgeoning spring garden. There were daffodils, hyacinths and forsythia blooming. What a joy! I enjoyed getting a view of her patio seating area and the whole view of her large property before all the trees bloomed. It looked beautiful. However, looks can be deceiving. 

Most people move to the suburbs seeking more livable space, a garden, and a better quality of life. Legions of city residents moving during the Covid outbreak can attest to that fact. But, can you escape the wages of sin here in Westchester County, New York? The answer is a resounding no.

The garden paradise created by God that existed for humanity exists no more and we will have to wait for justice to be re-established again during the millennial reign of Jesus Christ. But, in the meantime, we must cope and so it was with June. As we had tea and conversation, I learned that June had not slept well. The cause seemed to be the old waking up with feelings about that neighbor thing.

Nothing interrupts sleep more than unfinished spiritual business. She had a run in with her neighbor Nicole* and as much as she told herself,”not to loose sleep over this,” don’t you know that is just what happened. So what was the big deal that caused a rift between Nicole and June? It all started with an act of God.

The winter brought many damaging wind storms to Westchester County this year. 40, 50 or even 60 mile per hour winds came raging through this area. During one such storm, June had a fence come down. That fence happens to border Nicole’s property. June’s son came to survey the damage and to make a temporary repair until spring when the ground would thaw and allow for a more permanent solution.

As the weather cleared up Nicole used the opportunity to call June’s attention to the matter. Watch this now because it is text book how not to treat your neighbor behavior. Nicole angrily confronted June. She asked her if she had done this ugly thing to her tree. (June’s son had made the tree a brace for holding up the fence because the ground was frozen). She informed June that this is her tree and she wanted it fixed by the end of the week. By the way, June who has lived in the house her whole life thinks the tree belongs to her. Nicole did not give June a chance for a civil discussion on the topic.

There is so much wrong with what went on but, it is oh so typical of how God did not intend for things to run. To start with Nicole should have had a more respectful attitude with an elder neighbor, not to mention that in general Nichole was rude and had a controlling attitude. But, this is Westchester County, New York where we encourage ill-mannered, controlling attitudes. We call it assertive and winning. 

The Bible consistently discusses the concept of justice to the widow, not taking advantage of the widow in her weakness (June has been a widow for several years). Is this the best that we can do with so much going on? Bully a kind and caring widow and demand that she straighten this problem out on the weekend? Also, the weekend she was speaking about just so happened to be Easter weekend. Haven’t we any respect for the church and family celebrations surrounding that date? We are struggling with a worldwide contagion, political chaos, and an uptick in crime but, on a microcosm this is our daily sin.

Then there is my neighbor Jo.* Jo and her husband Niles* bought the house next door to me for close to a million dollars. They vastly overpaid for the property. The real estate prices have traditionally been high in Westchester due to its excellent school systems (depends on what you call excellent) and the proximity of the County to the economic engine of New York City. Maybe that explains why they would pay just shy of a cool million to purchase a house situated on a rock, with a lot of stairs, a minuscule yard and which is situated right off a busy street. 

Spending all that money gives one the right to act as the baronial Lord of the block doesn’t it? All this despite her husbands Yale education, his woke professorial role at a semi-Ivy league school close by. Noblesse oblige I guess. This week she yelled, in her yearly tirade, at one of my lawn men for getting some leaves on her property. This from a woman whose own lawn men have done the same to me. Her roofer indiscriminately dropped her old roof debris onto my property and on top of my new cars. Her airbnb tenant drops dozens of cigarettes in front of my house, not hers, and by my cars not hers. This man who she harasses cleans up after her tenants mess and never complains.

My man Tom* has struggled with depression after loosing his job due to back trouble. He works very hard in the lawn maintenance job that he now has. Yet, he battles back trouble, and depression valiantly. If Jo knew how hard this man works and how much he is battling would she yell at him as if he were a dog? I hope not. But, I tipped him an extra twenty bucks and told him that he was a better man than her. He did not lower himself to her level. However, I could see in his eyes how sad he was. 

This all seems insane to me because I have read the Bible and it gives me clarity on these events. I am my brothers keeper. Pure religion is to uphold the widow. We are called to serve others. Do onto others and all that. I know that these directives are suppose to be more than words. 

The saddest thing to me is how we all need each other but all we do is push one another away. The Bible puts a high premium on treating people fairly. You can have a disagreement but not be mean or unreasonable. You can put yourself in some one else’s place. You can offer to help your neighbor or her son should they need a hand when they get ready to put up their fence. You could stop looking at what leaves are getting put on your lawn and start cleaning up the mess that you have created for others. Or, at least use the same standard on your own workmen that you expect others to uphold. 

As June told me of her sad encounter with her neighbor and after I had sufficiently comforted her, I asked her if it would be okay to lead her in prayer. I reminded her that the Bible tells us to pray for those who hurt us. She agreed. I think we both felt better when we chose to follow God’s directive in all this. I had to do my own praying after I had my own encounter with a so-called neighbor. 

I have learned to express my hurt, vent my anger and then go to God in prayer. It helps give me peace, in a world in need of it. It helps to soften my heart toward that individual. So often after praying for someone, I find empathy and a renewed sense of telling them about Jesus. It helps me to stay on track with the Lord instead of getting caught up in a worldly attitude. 

* the names are changed but the story is true.